Category: Beauty and Hair

Posted on

Empowerment of Women and Ourselves: You Deserve It Boo!!!!

Follow me

So I’m in a book club and the conversation about how women treat each other came up.  Basically, asking are you a bully or a protector? And most of us realized that we were taught to be tough either by strong female presence growing up or we fell victim to a strong female. We are all products of our environments and most of the time our environments are unintentionally teaching us to be mean girls.

For instance, for me growing up all I saw females being vindictive towards each other and seeing what pain we could inflict on each other. It wasn’t until my mom remarried and I actually got to see togetherness and empowerment from other women towards me.  Not to mention the unconditional love. As I went off to college I had to learn how to redefine what empowerment was not just for myself but to others around me.

It’s not easy to undo impressionable years of hate but with good intentions and better surroundings we can do anything we set our minds to.  Especially women, at times and throughout history we are the most mistreated beings on earth.  But also the most forgiving.  Remembering the pain and inflection that we went through.  It’s sad to see all the brokenness and struggle that we as women go through internally but it’s even more amazing to see the transformation.  The concept of being a better person or better woman in that matter it can be difficult.

I mean is it just me or does the universe intentionally try you when you’re trying to be a better woman.  It never fails every time I have a good talk or great women empowerment get togethers it’s like the universe says hold on ba boo-ski let me try your ratchet side.  And I have to do a countdown in my head to try and not snatch the woman who is trying me that day.  But hey we are all human and mistakes happen and we have to decide in that moment that we are better than that person trying to bring out the ratchetness in you.  But I’m trying and so should you.  Don’t let these crazies knock you off your horse and knock off your crown.  Be better, look better, act better, and know better because you are better and they are just jealous.  And we all know misery loves company.

Posted on

Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder, Misery Loves Company

Follow me

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…but what if the beholder is you? Can you honestly say to yourself everyday that you love what you see…unconditionally? If you answered no to either of those questions than you need to re-evaluate your way of thinking. And realize you’re not the only one but there is hope, all is not lost my friend.

Now just because you’re not alone in this self love imagery, doesn’t mean that it is okay to seek love from others around you or go looking for it. See that’s not how love works. One has to really be okay and utilize all those features that either you don’t like or that everyone makes fun, and make it an advantage rather than a hindrance. That saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, needs to also say that you are the beholder. In this day and age being picked on and bullied doesn’t end at school it can also transpire over social media and the web. It is so easy for children and young adults to feel down and depressed because there is no off switch to the chaos. One can feel like their world is crumbling and life is better without them. And that is just sad and miserable.

But there is also another saying that people seem to forget…misery loves company. And since everyone is pumping out more misery it is easy for them to select those who just can’t catch a break and add to their suffering. Wow how self centered and pathetic we have gotten as a society to think that pain and suffering is enjoyable and will erase that whole in your heart. Confidence, compassion, love, self worth, and others are at an alarming low every time I look at my phone. I can only imagine how those who are still in grade school must feel. I mean the mass shootings and young adult/children suicide numbers should tell us something. But for people who are so consumed by our own world that we don’t even realize that the world doesn’t evolve around us, we evolve around it.

But there is a bright side…like all things that are bad there are opposites or ying and yang. Just like you wake up and feel depressed, lonely, heartless, worthless, etc you can also feel joy, love, compassion, self love, etc. and have everything that is sugar, spice, and nice (you see my rhymes…mad skills yo…lol). You know how you can get that awesome feeling? Just guess…come on think. Practice…what practice, practice what you say. Self love. Yes, start by practicing self love first and everything else will fall into place. See right now those who are preying on you are doing it because you don’t love yourself enough to not allow small or petty things like bullying bother you. You have to set your eyes on the prize… your future and what you’re going to be doing with it. Someone who is focused and driven about what they want in life doesn’t have time to worry about someone who is miserable and trying to add to that misery by including you. Yes, I know there are other forms of bullying like the physical portion but I’m referring to the mental part.

If your mind, spirit, and love for yourself is strong then instead of feeling hurt by others you will realize that you feel sorry for them and keep it moving. Now in order to practice self love you first have to remove yourself from the negative environment so that you can meditate and think for yourself. Not the dark thoughts but the happy thoughts of what could and will be of your dreams. You cannot allow others to control your emotions. Unplug and detox social media and socializing if you have to, so that you can have those moments to yourself. Once you start rationalizing and looking at things and situations in a different light you will soon see that there are other alternatives besides shooting, killing, harming yourself and others. Seek out knowledge and read books to engulf your thoughts and imagination to a place of happiness and then try to apply some of those feelings of self love outward. So yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beholder is you. Don’t let anyone try to stump on happiness and depress your soul. Lead by example and be extraordinary.

Posted on

Lost of Inspiration: My Plans of Making a Better Life

Follow me

So as you can see I took my website down for about a month, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to write but because I just didn’t feel like writing.  I just wasn’t inspired to write anything, anything good that is.  I let my life take on a hectic turn of events and being unorganized.  I was so focused on upcoming events that are short-term happiness that I took my focus away from something that could possibly be an awesome hobby for me.

So with that being said I have refocused my attention to my happiness and in the process try to find my true purpose of my life.  I want my life to be wonderful and more blissful than what it already has.  Crazy I know wanting more happiness and enjoyment of time with family, it’s crazy to even think about it and even trying to accomplish it may seem impossible.  But it really isn’t.  Similar to those that I have met that smoke their problems away, don’t seem to care about many troubles of the world nor the small ones that plague so many lives and cause so much destruction and stress.  No I’m not saying that I will smoke or start smoking for that matter or even turn to other drugs but I can take the same approach to accomplishing a more lax lifestyle.  As the great song by Lil Duval says, “I’m living my best life.”  I am truly happy at the way things have turned out for me so far.  And I definitely can’t wait to see what comes up ahead.

But my steps at getting towards that happiness is simple so far and I’m still working out some kinks of course.  But it all starts with my health.  The things that I put into my body have to be of benefit to me in the essence of my survival and longevity.  I’m not saying that I am vegan or a vegetarian, but the concepts of eating healthy and more natural foods is definitely a journey on its own.  Also, if I am eating correctly as well as my family then working out is also essential to make sure my body and mind is in tune with the universe.  I am still working on syncing everything together but I love the experience so far.

Next, it’s getting my plans together for the remainder of my life.  Things that I want to do, places that I want to see, and people I want to meet.  And not to mention the life experiences I will get to experience.  Once you start meditating and getting your mind-body and soul together the outside world is not so scary nor is it a bother on nonsense and frivolous things.  Such as, bills, money worries, worldly desires, and amongst other things.

Finally, getting my spiritual body is a journey that I have been struggling with for years now.  Making sure that I am on the right path is crucial to myself, family, and those that I positively affect around me.  Even the negative energy that I may give off unknowingly has to be kept in check at all times.  Knowing when you are in a bad mood can allow evil spirits to enter and be released to those around you and have a negative effect.

So making sure my body inside and out it taken care of, making sure that my life is less stressful and beneficial, and lastly making sure my spiritual mind-body and soul in check.  It’s all apart of my plan to make sure my life is non regretful and fulfilled with happiness.

Posted on

Listen DON’T Touch My Hair: It Is Not an Object of Wonder

Follow me

Why is it that industry is so fascinated with my (brown-skinned person) hair?  Do I come up to you and ask can I touch your hair whenever I want?  No, so please stop asking to touch mine.  There is this current phenomenon going on where people of color are embracing their natural hair texture.  And it’s not saying that relaxed or processed hair is bad.  Well, it sort of, it’s bad for colored-person hair texture.  I mean all those chemicals just damage the hair sometimes to the point of no repair.  Now, I don’t think it’s a bad thing that people want to embrace that beautiful boldness.  In fact, I love it especially when it is styled so forward ethnic.  Yes, I just made that term up.  But really let’s think about the history of why colored people process their hair in the first place.

It all began back in slavery days, yeap I went there, see people of colored didn’t have hair salons and/or days where they could just take off and get their hair done.  Not to mention that there were no combs specifically made for their hair texture.  So what did they do to combat this blatant disrespect of care for hair?  Braids and headdresses/wraps.  That’s right on the one-off day that colored people had they either got their hair braided or they just simply wrapped their hair up during the week.  Then came a period where it was slight-ish relaxed we got our hair straighten.  Okay, I won’t beat around the bush after slavery when people of color were actually freed.  Which in this case Juneteenth, not 4th of July for Independence day, no actual June, 19, 1865.  Juneteenth, also known as Juneteenth Independence Day or Freedom Day, is an American holiday where the announcement of slavery was abolished in the U.S. to those of colored.  Even though the Emancipation Proclamation was issued and signed 2 years prior.

Anyways, during this time people of color had more time on their hands to actually care for their hair which is why Sarah Breedlove also known as Madam C.J. Walker made a fortune on hair products.  Besides it could not have been before that because she wasn’t born until 1867.  Now that the history section is out-of-the-way, we can get back to colored people hair of the 2000s.  Well, kinda, see it is also known that Jim Crow laws and other harsh treatments were presented during this time period and in order for colored people to fit in and be accepted more they had to do something about their hair.  Wearing the natural hair texture was not going to work and be presentable in the workforce.  So, straighten and processed hair came into play.  But now that times have changed drastically and colored people no longer want to wear their hair in such a damaged state anymore.  Companies and businesses are now trying to conform to the new norm because the last thing that a big corporation or even a small one wants is a major lawsuit that says the they are discriminatory towards people of color.  We have already seen it all over the news for some corporations, such as the military that didn’t allow females to wear Afros, braids, dreads, and other ethnic hairstyles.  Or a school that prohibited females to prom for braids because it went against dress code.  Places of business are now starting to conform the way they look at hair and I for one am Loving it.  Though I am not much of a hairstylist and I can do simple maintenance to my hair.

So why is society so bent out of shape of people of colored wearing our natural hair texture.  Even though it is known that people of color built this country on the orders of others.  And though this is not a hate blog about those times.  Why is it so hard to move on from those discriminatory ways?  What harm does it really have to wear natural hair.  It’s not like it’s going to take someone hostage or start talking like a living baby.  If I have to change my hair for a company then there should also be standards for those for majority controlling party.  Such as, disrespect and blatant disregard for a human is not an okay policy and catering to a specific color of race is not humane.  Basically or simply put, treat others of all race and ethnic backgrounds the way you would want to be treated.  So HELL NO you cannot touch my hair, it is not an object of wonder.  It is just simply hair, the same thing that grows on your body.  Besides, I don’t know where your hands have been, if they are cleaned, and most importantly I said no.

 

SimplyBetty101

Posted on

Why Women Struggle to Lose Weight

Follow me

If you are like me and you struggle to lose weight around the midsection, then you know it is annoying.  Especially, when your spouse is either working out less or the same amount as you.  And somehow they are losing weight at a fast pace while you barely see the scale move.  I too have been suffering from the dilemma all summer.  So I came across an article written on Dr. Axe website called, “9 Reasons Why Women Struggle to Lose Weight + Solutions.”  This has helped me a lot so maybe it can help you.

 

Reasons why women struggle to lose weight - Dr. Axe

Full article can be read at https://draxe.com/reasons-why-women-struggle-lose-weight-and-weight-loss-tips/

 

Posted on

Healthy Lifestyle Goals

Follow me

So since 2015, before I was pregnant, I was on this new health kick where if I workout hard then I could eat whatever I wanted.  And for a while that worked until I got pregnant.  Now before I was pregnant I weighed a solid 150 lbs. and dropped down to 140 lbs.  But oh when I went in to delivery I was an even 200 lbs.  Now that is a lot for myself since my biggest size was a 10 in juniors.  Now some of you may be thinking that 200 lbs is not so bad but if you have seen any pictures of me then you know that 200 lbs was a far cry from the 110 lbs my freshman year of college.

Since I was active and working out before I was pregnant and a little while pregnant, I thought, first baby my body would just snap back into place like I had seen some of my friends.  WRONG!!!!!! My body and genetics is completely different from my friends.  See once I had my baby I only dropped 20 lbs.  Yeap, just a measly 20 lbs.  So I thought well maybe I just have to give it some time.  Nope that didn’t work either over 6 months had past and not a single pound was dropped.  So I came up with a weekly goal and a plan.  Though I have been working on this lifestyle and tweaking things here and there I am determined to get down to 150 lbs before my birthday in November.  So wish me luck….

  1. Workout at least 5 times a week
  2. Healthier meals (no wings) (ok at least not every week)
  3. Motivation and consistency is key
  4. Don’t lose faith, progress is slow and the reward is awesome
  5. Make it a friends and family thing (this will push you even more and make you competitive)
  6. Keep progress reports and change things if results are not showing in 2 weeks time
  7. And you are not alone…..
  8. Love yourself in whatever stage
  9. No shortcuts (plastic surgery) – maybe a breast lift
  10. And I ran out of things to say LOL….enjoy

Thanks for reading…. SimplyBetty101

Posted on

Waxing: What You Need to Know About Them- Hard Wax Vs Soft Wax

Follow me

For some ladies and gentlemen, waxing can be a wonderful regular maintenance that can keep our bodies looking its best at all times.  For others, the shear mention of waxing makes them cringe.  But if you are wondering how and why people get them you first need to know that there are different forms of waxing.   While there are different styles you may be familiar with such as bikini, Brazilian, and the Au natural.  The wax that is used can be the difference of you want to keep doing this or this is painful and who in the right mind constantly does this.

One way is soft wax, which is the norm that most people see in movies where wax is applied and then immediately removed with either paper or a muslin strip.  This way is often perceived as extremely painful and deters a lot of people.  But there is an alternative, which is hard wax.  In this case hot/warm wax is applied, then allowed to dry and then the removal of hair by pulling the dry wax off.  Now looking at the names one would think that the hard wax is the most painful and soft wax is more appealing.  The name is only in reference to how the wax is used.  Soft wax stays soft and does not get hard, whereas hard wax has to dry or get hard in order to be removed with the hairs attached.

Now I will reason with you, if you are tender person or have a low tolerance of pain than waxing may not be your cup of tea.  If you are a frequent shaver of any place you plan on waxing.  Be aware it will cause some discomfort.  But this is not to deter you just to inform you.  If you are not sure of the pain, just think of it as someone ripping off a band-aid on a hairy part of your body.  Like a band-aid rip the pain is only temporary.  And if you have a professional doing your waxing and they are good they will gauge and coach you on how to handle the process.  Now please do not think that the process is forever because with a good waxer even if you’re getting a Brazilian or the Au natural, the process may only take up to 15 mins.  If its your first time maybe 20 to 30 mins depending how well you’re doing.

Next, if it is your first time getting a wax especially if you usually shave it will hurt more.  This is only because your hair is growing back thicker and more course so to speak.  Rather than the hair being removed from the root and pull out.  When the hair is pulled out from the root the hair will either not grow back or if it does it will grow back softer, which means it won’t be as thick.  This also means less painful.  It is true that if you continue to get waxes on a regular basis then you will get use to the pain.  There are places such European Wax Center, that mostly use their own mix of hard wax for most of their waxes and even sell wax passes.

As for the cost, you can get around that especially if you’re a student.  There are plenty of companies that have discounted prices for students, as well as first time waxers.  You may be able to get a wax 50% off or free depending on the specials.  I would look for coupons and deals on Groupon for places in your area.  Also, some places that are setup near a university can only have low prices based on their location.  If you’re wondering about price depending on the places, waxes can range from $20 to over $100.  The most expensive price I paid was $80 but I did have a $60 gift card.  My next price was $35 for a Groupon coupon and then that set price because I was a student.  I then switch to the company European Wax Center where a Brazilian is only $50 and if you’re a first timer its half off.  So though EWC is located in several states, I recommend that you do your research and find a subtle place and waxer.  This is your private area or body and it is a temple.  Just like you watch what you put in it I suggest to watch you does anything to it.

Now this is not an advertisement to my place which is EWC, I’m not getting paid to suggest them.  I’m just mentioning them because I have and currently using them and I love it.  Within 20 mins of arriving I’m paying and leaving.  So in short if you are just starting out I would suggest to go with a small wax session such as, bikini line, or strip.  You can even try a butt strip just to see how you feel about it or just get another part of body waxed altogether.  And then if it is something that you want to pursue long-term then go for it.  Below is a link of wax types and areas that they pertain to.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/beauty-hair/g3225/bikini-wax-styles/

Finally, if you did decide to get a waxing, it is of utmost importance to properly take care of skin afterwards.  That means no swimming, no harsh chemicals, and if you waxed your private area please bath in lukewarm water with anti bacterial soap for the next couple of cleanings.  I suggest this to help kill any bacterial and help heal the skin.  No fragrances or fragrance washes as well.  You want to treat this as if you have a new tattoo or if you’re trying to keep a wound from getting infected.  Upon, doing research on your wax therapist, make sure they have a reputation of being clean and you want to make sure you watch them on sanitary.  After you have covered your basis with them now it is your turn to make sure your body can handle it.  After care is just as important as before and during care.  If they sell products, look them up and read reviews.  Ask what’s in the product.  Because the last thing you want is for everything to go well and you use a product that does not react well to your skin.  If you have been using a product that helps with razor bumps and it works, continue using that you do not have to buy their products.  Now I hope this blog helps with any questions or fears you have about waxing and good luck.

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

 

 

Posted on

Coloring Hair: Permanent or Semi-Permanent/Rinse Which Method is Better For Your Hair

Follow me

People have been dyeing hair since before it was a popular thing to do in today’s society.  There is evidence that natives in other cultures and countries that shows the nature ingredients that are used also plays a part in coloring their hair.  But this blog is not about the history of dyeing hair but differences in ways you can achieve color without damaging your hair.

Coloring your hair can be tricky especially if this is your first. The risks are high but the beautiful outcome is even better. But it has to be done right. Here are some do’s and dont’s of coloring hair. Rather than just jumping in and dying your hair red or blonde or pink or whatever that color is you’re trying to achieve make sure you know all the risk.  After you have made your selection on color, now research on how your going to achieve that color. You have 2 options of coloring, permanent or semi permanent which is a rinse.

Now if you have selected permanent hair dye you have to be careful on the product chemicals and harshness it can cause to your hair.  Permanent hair dye has a lot of chemicals and can cause damage especially on already processed hair.  For instance, if you have relaxed hair or perm you will need to give your hair time to adjust to the chemicals and retain some strength. Waiting more than 6 weeks is the recommended time. But if you have relaxed or permed hair and you still want to dye your hair.  It is recommended that a semi permanent or rinse is used. Since after a couple of weeks or washes the color will fade and come out.  And if your still not sure you can always consult a coloring specialist.  Notice I said coloring specialist, because there is hair stylist that can give your wrong advice or damage your hair even more.  You want to make sure you have someone who not only cares about achieving the color desire but also the health of your hair.  If a coloring specialist advises you not to use permanent hair coloring, listen to them.  If not you can’t blame anyone but yourself if your hair comes out.

Then, if you decide to color your hair on natural hair, you may just come out better than a person with processed hair.  Since your hair is in a natural state and has little to no chemicals your hair strains are way stronger than those who have processed hair.  Therefore, permanent hair color takes better to natural hair in most cases.  There are cases where natural hair strains are just not strong enough to handle the harsh chemicals in coloring products.  Which is why it is also important to test a couple of strains before applying color.  It also may be even more beneficial to consult a natural hair coloring specialist.  If you are unable to find one in your area I suggest doing a ton of research.

Next, you go the safer route which is semi-permanent route or rinse.  Then you my friend are making a great choice.  I prefer rinse just because I like to change my hair color often.  Like a couple of colors per year often and applying a rinse is much easier.  The only danger for applying semi-permanent dye is the possible use of creme developers and bleaching agents.  Now these are chemicals that help either lighten up your natural hair color or help the new coloring bond with your actual hair.  Now these agents are usually used on dark-colored hair.  For instance, say you have black or dark brown hair and you want to go a bright red or pink.  Well just dying your hair that color will only result in a dark version of the color you wanted.  So again be careful with these developers.

Now if you are opposed to taking any advice about hair coloring and the serious effect it can have if not done properly you can always start completely over.  Yes, cutting off all damaged hair and starting completely over.  Rather you have to go bald or rock a cute pixie cut, believe me it is not the end of the world.  Unlike other things that don’t grow back like fingers and eyes.  Your hair will grow back.  It may take some time but it will grow back.  Besides if you are in need of length there is always wigs and weave.  So rather you’re dyeing your hair yourself or getting a professional.  Remember, to ask what chemicals are used, rather your hair can handle the chemicals, and is it worth the hassle?

 

Thanks… SimplyBetty101

Posted on

Dear Mr. Forever I Promise 2 You: My Vows

Follow me

Today is finally here, after 10 years of ups and downs, war wounds, and the greatest part of my life thus far. I just wanted to say that even though I have expressed and shown you love throughout the years writing this was a bit exciting.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you even when we’re together. There’s not a day where I don’t get excited to hear your voice or to look into those dark brown eyes. You have pushed me, supported me, and cared for me at my lowest time. We have lost so much but gained more than we could ever imagine as a unit. Where most people would’ve just given in and wanted us to just move on from each other we stayed because we saw something in each other that no one else could.

Yes I nag and complain a lot but what girl who is spoiled doesn’t? And where would the fun be if I just complied to everything. And we both know that’s not my nature. You are my better half and challenge me to be my best. I love your selflessness and your ability to see the dream with me. On this special day 10 years ago I challenged you to tell me what this was and you answered well I guess we’re a relationsfip and ended the convoy with saying L word. Even then we knew that we loved each other and that this would be forever. As the song says you make me better… I love you…