Category: Budget/Finances

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Struggles of Adulthood

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What I don’t understand is that people have the preconceived notion that once a person turns 18 years of age they are now adults and can make rational adult decisions. I’m sorry to break it to society but a person who has only been in the world for less than 20 years cannot make correct adult decisions.

For example, college financial aid and career choices. Society really expects young adults who have never filled out an financial document before in their lives to then undergo a big financial risk of applying for student loans without the full understanding of the total impact it can have on their future. As well as select a profession that they will endure for the rest of their lives. You do see the downfall to this plan correct? There is no guidance to how to navigate adulthood until one has entered into their 20s and is force to learn hard knocks of life in order to survive until their 30s. So now people are spending their 30s correcting mistakes they did in their 20s, so that they can at least enjoy their 40s and so forth. Now I’m no mathematician but that is almost most of some of our lives creating and correcting debt that was accumulated because there is no concept of raising kids to be adults.

You always hear the notion let kids be kids, but where is the underline of teaching kids to become functioning adults who can make correct decisions. Now I could get into the aesthetics of the billion dollar industry to keep people in debt so that the country can monetize off of it. But this is not a conspiracy chase blog and I’m not a conspiracy theory chaser. So with that being said wouldn’t it be a great idea to throw away half of the bull crap our public and private schools teach. Start with just teaching the basics then allowing a child to hone in on their skills to then conquer that into a profession. I mean how is it that we have so many smart and intelligent children but yet we are behind other countries and our teachings are lagging. Now I’m not blaming our teachers by any means, I know there is a stupid structure that is setup to 1. not paying teachers enough, 2. children are being rushed though, the no child left behind bull, 3. children are not challenged enough and not taken seriously, 4. teachers are stressed to the max because the statistics of children failing and having to deal with parents not understanding why their child is failing, 5. and if children are not performing and fitting into a box they are quickly shuffled off as being ADD/ADHD, which is just lazy.

So let’s just recap the struggles of people going into adulthood. First, kids are not taught or shown how to make adult decisions before they are thrown into the lion’s den. Second, the billion mistakes that are made in our 20s we will then spend the rest of our lives trying to correct. Finally, the system that is here to teach our children is seriously broken between the stressed out teachers, students, and parents. So as a parent I will definitely be picking up the slack that this North American school system has been lacking. Yes, parents should be teaching their kids anyway but we do know that everyone’s circumstances are different. So if your a parent just remember any lessons that can be taught to a child that can prepare them for the real adult life that is up ahead, please entrust them with that knowledge.

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Disappointments and/or Discouraged: Support Systems and Checks and Balances

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I’m going to be honest, a lot of times I get discouraged and/or disappointed with the way things are going in my life.  Now is there something wrong chemically in my head, no.  I just go through some things in life that trigger a pity party in my head just like any other person.  Luckily I don’t stay there for long maybe a couple of days at the most and then I’m back to my old chippery self.  Rather if it’s a argument with my spouse or some harsh reality that has altered my existence, I do still try to either think about the positives and move on.  Or deal with it and then move on.  

Just like anybody else in this world, I get thrown curve balls on a regular.  And when your in a relationship it is either a hindrance or a blessing to have a partner that can alter your discouraging state of mind.  If you are in a relationship, having a compatible partner is crucial especially if you suffer from depression or some suicidal thoughts.  Support systems are essential in everyone’s life no matter how strong your will and spirit is.  Checks and balances can be applied to almost every aspect of your life.  For instance, a person can go through school doing what they think is great but in their parents or teachers eyes their doing the bare minimal.  Now if neither one of those people, your support system, tells you to either try harder or do better, will you know to do it on your own?  Or how about your feeling sad and feel like the walls are closing in on you and you have nowhere to turn and you just want this to end or your life to end so you can’t feel pain, shame, guilt, burden to others, pity, and etc.  But you have that one friend, partner, relative, someone who is paying attention and comes to your rescue time and time again to talk you away from that ledge, knife, gun, rope, bedsheet, etc.  Having that person beside you makes a big difference in this world and makes a weak minded person feel like they can grow and accomplish anything.  

Disappointments will come and you will feel discouraged.  But if you have surrounded yourself with the right support system then you won’t feel discouraged for long. The checks and balances you have in place will make you feel more uplifted and encouraged.  There are times where we are not aware of our support system, it can well enough be a stranger.  Yes, a strange person can feel compel to come to your aid when you least expect it and need it the most.  Weird how life works sometimes, but it  is necessary.  This is not going to be much longer, I just wanted to share my thoughts and personal feelings.  Yes, I do fear the darkness that the world can provide but I overwhelming enjoy the lighter side of the world.  Joy comes in the morning and the darkness doesn’t last always.  If you are ever in a dark place that seems like it’s never ending, please look for the light in any way shape or form.  No matter how small that light may be.  Remember, everyone needs checks and balances from a support system.  

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Thank You Notes/Cards: Are They Necessary?

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If you are reading this blog you’re wondering, why should you send out thank you cards for an event that you put together and paid for?  Well that question popped in my head as well after my wedding and after people were wondering why they haven’t received any 2 months after my big day.  And for some the answer is simple, yes, because it’s tradition.  But is there a deeper meaning to it than just tradition?  I mean who started this notion and why do I have to spend more money and time.  And the simple answer really is, think about those who actually took the time out of their busy schedules to help you celebrate your union, or whatever event it is that you are planning.

Think about it, all those who traveled near and far probably had better things to do then to go to a store, buy you a gift, get dressed, and come see your joyous occasion.  When I think back on my wedding my husband’s family stayed nowhere near where the wedding was taking place and not to mention I had relatives coming from the East and West coast via plane and car just to see a couple who had been together for 10 years already and created life.  It was a celebration for them as well as us.  Granted the last thing I wanted to do was sit down and hand write thank you cards with my horrible 7th grade handwriting.  But it makes one feel special when you thank them for anything that they do.  You never know how that person is feeling that day.  Beside my thank you notes I made sure to make up for the lack of penmanship and not remembering what everyone and who bought us something.  So therefore I included pictures from the big day of us, which I know some family members will enjoy.  Especially since I am horrible about keeping in contact with people throughout the year.  Yes, I know I am a horrible person.  I will get my life together and I’m working on it.

But just to give you a few pointers, once you open a gift make sure you write down who bought what.  This way each thank you note will be personalized.  Also if you know you are horrible with timing you can always have pre-made thank you notes, when someone gives a gift at the wedding they get a thank you note.  My cousin told me about that trick after my wedding was done.  Another way to remember thank you notes, is to have only electronic gifts.  Such as, Bed Bath and Beyond, Amazon, or whatever your favorite place to shop.  That way each registry tells you who bought it and it is delivered straight to your address.  This option also helps with addresses since everyone may not sign the guest book or have legible penmanship.  Of course, these methods do not apply to elders who are not tech savvy, so old-school it is.  Also there are ways you can send electronic thank you notes via email.  The point is, it is a tradition and thoughtful gesture.  Well I hope this helped you, remember your not sending thank you notes just to spend more money but to show gratitude to family, friends, and haters that helped you celebrate your occasion.

 

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

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Are They Entertained? Children Summertime

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As summer hits its midway mark and we have gotten into a groove.  I know as a parent I cannot wait until the school year begins again.  Since my little one is a toddler he will be going to daycare.  In the past he would just continue to go through daycare but because we moved across 2 states we want to give our wallets a breather.  So since getting our son back from his grandparents house the busy ness does not stop.  Along with his potty training our little one will be taking swimming lessons at our gym.  Which brings me to this blog topic today.

Since most parents work year round and only take vacations during the summer when the kids are out.  Which is why airfare and vacations are more expensive during this time of year.  One has to wonder, are we spending too much time and money trying to make sure that our kids are entertained and happy?  Also, will these be memories that they will be fond of?  In other words, are we as parents spending enough quality time vs quantity time with our kids?  Yes, I know we wish we could take more time and just let our inner kid come out and enjoy ourselves at least once a month.  But realistically due to economic importance.  We cannot.

In order to give our children the amenities that we didn’t have and to keep them happy.  We have to go to work and put in overtime.  Things have changed over the years of keeping children busy throughout the year.  When we were younger it was all about the summer vacation at grandma’s and grandpa or a week to a month with our older cousins.  Our parents were praising the heavens once a child became of age to babysit.  And this was with no pay.  As long as the house was not burned down and no one was hurt everything was okay.  Playing in the sun all summer was a sure way to tire your kids out.  Today it still is but there are modifications.

Thanks to perverts and people who just want to hurt children.  Parents now have to pay someone to watch their children at all times.  Our household uses grandparents, other family members for date-night, and the gym for when we go workout.  Granted that both of us work from home it is still difficult making sure that my son gets the maximum educational learning experience this year.  Not to mention the amount of food intake that now comes into play.  Usually, I will go all day without eating but since my son is back I now have to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  So I know parents with older children can’t wait until school starts back so the grocery bill can go down.  Along with your electricity bill, water bill, and gas bill for the house and car.

I can say that these summers are what kids live for just like parents who work Monday through Friday live for the weekend.  Just like we need a break from work children need a break from school.  Summertime is a perfect time for kids to showcase their creative skills more.  Think about it, instead of someone telling them what they can and cannot do and when to eat and use the restroom.  Children use down time to be creative and think for themselves to keep themselves entertained.  So instead of just randomly selecting something for your children to do all summer.  Try giving your child some freedom and let them explore their interest; they may just surprise you.  I mean what if your child is interested in art and portraits?  Then selecting a program where they take art classes may be better than just fun in the sun at a water park all day.  It may also cost less, more money in your pockets for those family vacations.

Well that is all for my thought today, thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

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Everything Wedding: No Matter the Timeframe and Budget

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Love is beautiful and undeniable when it’s right. It seems as if the entire world has lined up and everything just makes perfect sense. Now as quickly as you fell in love you want to get hitch. But let’s be realistic weddings can be expensive even if your on a budget. Well here are a few ideas you can use when money is tight but you want your dream wedding.

1. Venue…now weather your planning your wedding in a year, a week, or somewhere in between you have to figure out where you want to hold your wedding. A cheap route would be justice of the peace or or local church. An even cheaper route is your backyard or living room. But you have to select a venue within your budget because that is going to add to your total cost. Even a public beach maybe a great idea or a destination wedding to get wedding and honeymoon out of the way.

2. Dress…there are plenty of ideas you can use for a wedding dress especially if your going with a theme. Your gown doesn’t have to cost $2000 or higher. Believe me there are plenty of gowns for only $100 or less. For instance take David Bridals a very well known bridal shop. Now you would think all of their gowns are expensive or above your price range. But if you know in January that you will be getting married before or right around wedding season then your in luck. Every year David Bridal has a sale to get rid of their old inventory in preparation for wedding season so dresses are usually $99 on average. An even better idea would be online via Amazon, Wish, or a smaller boutique for your gown. Just in case you want that “say yes to the dress experience” with your family. It’s all about digging around and using your resources. Maybe you can revamp a old dress into a wedding dress.

3. Rings…once again your faced with the deliema of going cheap or starting your marriage off with a debt if your funds aren’t that banging. Well there are other options. You can start at stores such as Zales or Kay jeweler at the beginning of the year. Because just like David Bridal they have to get rid of that old inventory. Now jewelry stores are a little different because new inventory comes in during the hot months. Think about how many times did you see jewelry commercials around Valentine’s, Christmas, and wedding season. This my friend is your opportunity to catch a sale. It is possible to get all 3 bands (engagement ring, wedding band, and the man’s wedding band) for under $1000. Now weather your looking for something cute or massive make sure you do research on rings before you go. For instance, looking up the different types of rings and diamonds and what everything means. Also you may check out alternatives such as lab created diamonds, moissanite, or refurbished rings. Especially if you are worried about those blood diamonds that you hear about on tv. Getting alternative diamond can save you a fortune and still have a beautiful ring for the fraction of the price.

4. Food…this is where you can break your bank account, literally. Knowing how many people you want to share your moment with is important because you pay for the food. Now some caterers have reasonable prices such as 100 people and below maybe can run a base price of $600 to $1000. When you have over 100 people especially the 150 to 200 range now the price can change to per person. Which can be anywhere from $15 per person to $50/$60 per person depending to the menu. Do not panic their are alternatives, if you absolutely know someone that can cook very well, ask them. Even if they haven’t catered before. Or the family can pitch in, buy and cook the food. Where there is a will there is a way.

5. Cake…now this can run you anywhere from $500 to over $1000 making sure you check out all of your options is important. Local grocery stores such as Wal-Mart, Kroger, Winn Dixie, and other chain stores sale wedding cakes at reasonable prices and are usually pretty good. If your looking for a Pinterest wedding cake then looking at professional bakeries and people who bake wedding cakes for a living are your best bet. Or can can even try a cutlinery student or school to take a swing at it; this route may also be light on your budget but you also risk a disater. Now depending on the baker your cake can be expensive and over your budget. But if your not concerned with the cake that much as far as looks then your local chain store or smaller cakes is a better option. Remember the higher the body count of people the more cake you will need to have.

5. Decorations…this part of the wedding can be the cheapest part of the budget. If you are very crafty then Dollar Tree, Hobby Lobby, and Michael’s can be your best friend. Also if you know a popular place that host weddings and/or events and usually throw away decorations, recycle them. Take ideas from Pinterest and use those cheap websites like Esty, Amazon, Party City, and etc. Of course this route will require your time but you will appreciate the craft that goes into making beautiful decorations.

Congratulations, on your new adventure of love. Planning a wedding can be overwhelming. But it can also be easy and light on the pockets. So is it possible to plan an entire wedding with just $500? Yes, it is you just have to use your resources around you. Good luck.

Thanks for reading….SimplyBetty101