Being in a marriage often times leaves a person in self doubt or who am I mode. And typically it seems to be the woman or if your that rare unicorn the less dominating person in the relationship. Now I know there are strong women out there who just know off the back that they are the dominating person but there are a lot of instances where women will take a backseat in the relationship. And before we know it that firecracker of a personality is now allowing the man to be a man in public and behind doors just to hold to that relationship.
The fear of scaring a man a away runs deep psychologically and without failure. I do believe that because we’ve conscientiously have pictured this ideal family and in order to keep that picture we must play the part. Think about it, how many failed relationships did it take for you to say okay maybe it’s not them it’s me and I doing too much. Granted some of us do take it too far and have a tendency to blow things out of proportion. But the older you get the more things that use to set you off now doesn’t even phase you.  Well same is true about marriages/relationships. Example, say for instance that having a dirty house rather it’s a minor mess or massive, irritates you to the core. But over the years you have allowed the mess to pile up and clean it without a fuss. Or a more drastic example, you had dreams and ambitious before you met your husband and literally put it on the back burner or changed your dream so that he can pursue his first. Some of us have become stay at home moms, housewives, or taken a lesser job because we didn’t finish school or got to start that company idea we were sitting on. How often have men taken a backseat to allow their partners to shine?
I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but in my opinion women do tend to be more passive in relationships just to make them last longer. Of course, there are those special unicorns out there where the roles are reversed but I’m talking about as whole female population. Now with that passive survival on, we tend to allow our inner beauty or inner flower to not flourish and deem. In some cases, wither and die.  That’s why in so many divorce or major breakup cases afterwards women tend to go on a spiritual, an awakening, get my groove back journey to find ourselves again. You know, the get the old me back, phase. Men not so much, they tend to just go on as if that was just a phase and take the breakup harder later on. Why women on the other hand tend to take it hard at the beginning. I believe that is so because of the foresight we have or the ideology of the relationship we had is now gone. Yes, it does tend to take men longer to realize the bigger picture of a woman’s worth. Hence, why those songs were created in the first place.
Now after i said all of that I do believe that now women are becoming more and more in-tune with themselves regardless of their relationship status. And with that growing flower, are finding out if their spouses are up to the task. Women can do it all, I mean except the part about raising a man to be a man. I do believe that a man can do that better.  But we are still doing it and crushing it at the same time. Times are changing and women are at the forefront of the action. Not allowing any man spouse, partner, child, father, or friend to slow us down. We are realizing that our goals and dreams do matter and we want them to become a reality. Now if that means leaving some people behind and so be it. The best advice that I received and has stuck with me over the years is, “If they are not helping you be on your way. Then they are in your way.”
