Category: Lifestyle

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Mars vs Venus : WHY DO YOU…?

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A mother wakes up, gets the kids ready for school, and gets herself ready for the day. Your spouse on the other hand wakes up and just thinks about themselves, no hand in getting ready. This is just an example that I have seen, I know not all men are like this. But I do question, why is it such an amazement that men who actually help with their kids get a trophy?

Wake up, men helped create the child even though the women are the easy bake ovens that carried them. And no I do not want to hear about how women are more nurturing than men and it’s in our DNA. I am a living breathing person just like a man and no I didn’t take a class on being a nurturing. It was taught to me either by example or what I wanted as a child growing up. Therefore, men should have that same concept of what it takes to be a parent. Now I do know that there are a lot of dad’s out there that are putting in unbelievable hours at being a parent and example. This is not bashing men but simply just an inquiry.

Please inform me at what point in life was it mandatory for women to just be the only nurturer? Was in biblical days, turn of the century, or was it just something that was molded over time? I would really love to know which is probably why I will be spending some time researching that aspect. But regardless, men are capable of being nurturing and compassionate. How do I know this, how did your spouse get you in the first place? Were they romantic in any kind of way? Did they do little things to show that they cared? Or did he just come in and sweep you off your feet?

If you answered yes to any of those or thought about any memory that put a smile on your face, then my dear that is proof that men are very capable. But because this notion has never been brought up in a argument or disagreement it has never been pointed out before. Men pay attention and take the time to invest in things that are their own interest. And a lot of times, women are their interest. So a man will say or do what he needs to get to the goal line or end zone. So with that being said they too can also put in the time and effort to assist more with the creations they helped to produce. Besides, it’s their sperm that starts this whole process anyway. I can have embryos in full cycle all I want but without that juice it’s going to do absolutely nothing.

Now to my ladies out there, stop accepting the least or society’s’ norm of a man’s role when it comes to the children. And while I am at it, housework as well. Please remember that it only applies to men who think that those roles are solely for the women. These are new times and people love being involved and making trends. So there are plenty of role models such as celebrities who are completely involved in their kids lives. I would advise to women, give ultimatum, drop hints, and/or act like you admire celebrities that your man respect who are actively in just about everything with their kids. Basically trick them, like you do to get other things out of him. It’s that simple and I guarantee the only people who will benefit more than anyone else, guess, no not the mother but the children.

SimplyBetty101

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Do You Have The Motivation To Get It Done?

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A lot of times people go through life wondering and imaging if only they took a chance. And do they still have time to do so? Why is it that we can relate to others that we see in social media that took the leap of faith and accomplished something that was just so simple? And yet you are sitting there discontent about your life. Most of that is just the lack of motivation.

Rather you didn’t get enough motivation growing up to just be yourself and be happy. Or you just lack the courage to take the leap, it still just leaves the lack of motivational courage. People are so conditioned to follow the trend and stay in line instead of just creating their own lane that it leaves most of us in fear. Which then later leads to resentment and regret. The thought of fear is such a captivating feeling and just consumes everyone and everything in its path.

Think about it, people have anxiety over the smallest things or have panic attacks over simple circumstances. Well small and simple to myself and/or others but it is a real thing. So let’s think about it in a different perspective, what if no one had fear and took leaps? Now you have more leaders than followers and more self assurance in people. Now for those who are just in the money making business only, you are looking at this concept as a horrible idea. The fact that everyone will now be more sure and completely independent of themselves is bad for business. And now trendsetters are no longer a thing. But let’s look at the bigger picture, the amount of self love and pro life attitude that people would have for themselves would definitely fix a lot of economic issues. But that is another day and a lot of topic to cover.

Giving people the satisfaction of being capable to set trends and just be comfortable in their own lane would definitely be in a perfect world. Because the truth is that this is a for profit America that runs on the lack of people not having motivation and courage to take a leaf of faith. But hopefully you will not listen to the hype and think for yourself.

Please don’t be one of those old timers encouraging the younger generation to have no regrets and to at least try. Even if one were to fail you wouldn’t have that sense of “I never tried, so what could’ve been, I don’t know,” people. See you have to draw your motivation from within and say to that person you see in the mirror everyday that you are not a failure. Try it, you may then be that person that is envied on social media and living that life that you always wished for. You just have to put in the work and remove fear.

Anger is a great motivation. If you are always sad and depressed looking for an escape, that is a great motivation. or if you’re just proving to those who thought you would never amount to anything. If you just want the status, use it. Wherever you pull your motivation from make sure you use it to your full capabilities to get the job done. No regrets.

SimplyBetty101

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A Prayer For My Precious Son

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In today’s society there is a lot of concern and uncertainty.  Especially when one brings life into the world.  The amount of worry and anxiety a mother has when your child is out of eye sight can be a burden in itself.  So any time I start getting that worrisome feeling and anxiety starts to build, I just say a little prayer.  

I pray to you Lord to cherish my son.  To wrap your arms around him.  To shield him from the hurt and dangers of the world.  To cover him in your blood.  To hug him close to your bosom.  To cover him in your garment, to keep him safe.  Cherish his ideas and innocence.

To show compassion towards those around him.  To allow him to be a vessel of your word.  To be an example of what a better person should be.  To keep his mind, heart, and soul in your grace.  To give great guidance and spiritual healing to those around him.  To inspire others and be pro life.   In Jesus name I pray…Amen.   

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A Tribute to My Family and Support System: The Small Law of Attraction, You Should Try It…

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I must say I have been blessed with a wonderful family and/or support system.  Which is crucial in today’s or any society  for a person to survive and exceed in life.  

Being the oldest and the only girl on my mother side, which is the side that I grew up with mostly.  Until my mother married my dad, yes, I refer to my step father as my dad.  That title to me is reserved to a person who actual acts the role on a daily basis.  Now that that confusion is out of the way.  Being the only girl for some time I didn’t grow up with older female cousins that were empowering and motivating.  I didn’t get that until my mom married my dad and I met my cousins Tyger, Kiwi, and Maj (yes, I’m using nicknames).  These ladies definitely helped me shape my mind and understand what purposes are in life.  This support system was crucial because by the time these wonderful ladies came into my life I was freshly in my teens and already in womanhood.  

So meeting women around my age that were already into their own stride of life, was thrilling and eye opening.  Up unto this point I never had a single thought to myself of what I wanted to do in life and how to act.  That support system of my own peers gave me great advice and a different perspective on life then what I grew up with.  I actually had the pleasantry of a loving and devoted family.  Now, yes, I do understand that not everyone is ever so lucky to have loving family members and/or even caring members either.  And I also understand that people find family outside of their actually family.  Now whether they are a good influence or bad I understand that people stick to either situations of people or situations of surroundings.  And you can either learn from situations and surroundings or fall into them.  

The matter of the fact is that everyone needs that emotional, spiritual, and mind-blowing human connection that helps mold us into people.  Rather or not you agree with your surroundings or just blindly following your surrounding trend.  There are things that cannot be accomplished in life without that support system and family bond.  People learn how to love, connect, and teach others by learning these qualities from mentors and/or elders.  We also get our body chemistries a fighting chance to show others what we have to offer and build ourselves to greatness.  There is something that one gets from the competition of others surrounding them all fighting for the same position but for different motivations.  It’s like we as a people have to prove that we are people to each other.  But it all starts from the moment we have actual human interactions with someone.  And that support system, that family, and connection we have is vital to our survival.  

We see all the time where people withdraw from others and their surroundings to the point where it can kill them or maybe leave them in peace.  But those that do chose to be in peace are usually socially awkward and have anxiety of some sort.  But this is not about the distance and the damned.  This is about the bonding and the belief that family is a part of motivation.  Family is the drug and cure of life, the excitement of wanting to share and inspire your family and/or surroundings with positive vibes.  Instead of being spiteful and competitive with my family peers we actually look to our meetings and link ups as a way to motivate and give ideas.  Giving inspiration and advice to better each other is so refreshing and keeps us on our toes.  This is a way to keep us focus on our goals.  It’s amazing of how proud we are for each other in every role you can think of in life.  And I know that there are a lot of people who would kill just to have a taste of what I have in my family.  

So I say all this to give just a light at the end of the tunnel.  Some one may just need that extra push in finding that great support system.  Here is a tip, that great support system that you are longing for is coming if you just stop looking and just start living.  Believe me, that great support system that you are longing for will just appear.  Strang I know but the energy you give is the energy that you receive.  The law of attraction is a powerful thing and such a real thing.  If you give off positive and supportive energy, then you will receive positive and supportive energy.  So be mindful and grateful of the life you are giving and please don’t let anyone take your inner you.  Just show the world who you are and let everyone around you know that you can give support and you too need the support.  

SimplyBetty101

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If You Could Go Back, Would You Choose To Be Black?

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If you could go back, would you choose to be black?

If you had the same birthday, life, and God gave you a second time

Would you choose to be black in America?

If you could go back, would you still want to be raised in the harshness and violence of selective America vs Blacks?

Or would you prefer to be comfortable with the imagination of Fear of Blacks?

If you could go back, would you bless yourself with the chosen skin of the Creator?

Or would you prefer the murder of the colonizer who claim they built America?

Though we all know that those with that mindset don’t do any heavy and dirty work

They pass it down to those who don’t have the resources, but they forget it’s all muscle

If you are non black American can you honestly say that you would prefer to be black in America knowing what you know now?

Can you honestly sit there on your high horses and think that America is just?

Can you say that America is welcoming?

Can you say that America is fair?

Can you say that America is the best country to live in to those not from here?

Can you say that America is respectful?

Can you say that America will never change?

America is not the land of the Free

Nothing is free in America not even death

America is the “You Give Me Your Soul and I’ll Give you a Crumb,”

America is the 1% that gets to enjoy everything about America

While the rest argue over what changes should be done, but never act

Are we all not just humans who were created in different shades?

Economic separation people can actually understand and say create change

But when it comes to race, those of non black turn to the blind side and hope it’s all a dream

Well so do blacks, we hope and pray it is all a dream and that one day I don’t have to fear my coworker

Or a stranger on a subway…..my middle school classmate…..my local dentist klansman…..my neighbors…..

For black Americans we are scared to leave out of our front doors, not knowing if we will ever return

We are also scared to move into a new front door, not knowing if cops will be called praying to put 20 bullets to the head

Especially if we used the amenities that we also pay for

The reality is the image of America is the non black rich American’s sitting on a throne with black… Strong…Demanding… Fast… Big…Thugs…or more degrading description “a pack of NIGGAS,” at their feet

But let’s be real non black Americans love everything about Niggas

From the clothes…hair…body…vibes…persistence…work ethics…determination…willingness…language…style…

Even our skin color….but yet you say you don’t want to be black

Who are you fooling…your slavemaster ancestors?  Or that person in the mirror?

So again I ask, if you could go back, would you choose to be Black?

 

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Listen DON’T Touch My Hair: It Is Not an Object of Wonder

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Why is it that industry is so fascinated with my (brown-skinned person) hair?  Do I come up to you and ask can I touch your hair whenever I want?  No, so please stop asking to touch mine.  There is this current phenomenon going on where people of color are embracing their natural hair texture.  And it’s not saying that relaxed or processed hair is bad.  Well, it sort of, it’s bad for colored-person hair texture.  I mean all those chemicals just damage the hair sometimes to the point of no repair.  Now, I don’t think it’s a bad thing that people want to embrace that beautiful boldness.  In fact, I love it especially when it is styled so forward ethnic.  Yes, I just made that term up.  But really let’s think about the history of why colored people process their hair in the first place.

It all began back in slavery days, yeap I went there, see people of colored didn’t have hair salons and/or days where they could just take off and get their hair done.  Not to mention that there were no combs specifically made for their hair texture.  So what did they do to combat this blatant disrespect of care for hair?  Braids and headdresses/wraps.  That’s right on the one-off day that colored people had they either got their hair braided or they just simply wrapped their hair up during the week.  Then came a period where it was slight-ish relaxed we got our hair straighten.  Okay, I won’t beat around the bush after slavery when people of color were actually freed.  Which in this case Juneteenth, not 4th of July for Independence day, no actual June, 19, 1865.  Juneteenth, also known as Juneteenth Independence Day or Freedom Day, is an American holiday where the announcement of slavery was abolished in the U.S. to those of colored.  Even though the Emancipation Proclamation was issued and signed 2 years prior.

Anyways, during this time people of color had more time on their hands to actually care for their hair which is why Sarah Breedlove also known as Madam C.J. Walker made a fortune on hair products.  Besides it could not have been before that because she wasn’t born until 1867.  Now that the history section is out-of-the-way, we can get back to colored people hair of the 2000s.  Well, kinda, see it is also known that Jim Crow laws and other harsh treatments were presented during this time period and in order for colored people to fit in and be accepted more they had to do something about their hair.  Wearing the natural hair texture was not going to work and be presentable in the workforce.  So, straighten and processed hair came into play.  But now that times have changed drastically and colored people no longer want to wear their hair in such a damaged state anymore.  Companies and businesses are now trying to conform to the new norm because the last thing that a big corporation or even a small one wants is a major lawsuit that says the they are discriminatory towards people of color.  We have already seen it all over the news for some corporations, such as the military that didn’t allow females to wear Afros, braids, dreads, and other ethnic hairstyles.  Or a school that prohibited females to prom for braids because it went against dress code.  Places of business are now starting to conform the way they look at hair and I for one am Loving it.  Though I am not much of a hairstylist and I can do simple maintenance to my hair.

So why is society so bent out of shape of people of colored wearing our natural hair texture.  Even though it is known that people of color built this country on the orders of others.  And though this is not a hate blog about those times.  Why is it so hard to move on from those discriminatory ways?  What harm does it really have to wear natural hair.  It’s not like it’s going to take someone hostage or start talking like a living baby.  If I have to change my hair for a company then there should also be standards for those for majority controlling party.  Such as, disrespect and blatant disregard for a human is not an okay policy and catering to a specific color of race is not humane.  Basically or simply put, treat others of all race and ethnic backgrounds the way you would want to be treated.  So HELL NO you cannot touch my hair, it is not an object of wonder.  It is just simply hair, the same thing that grows on your body.  Besides, I don’t know where your hands have been, if they are cleaned, and most importantly I said no.

 

SimplyBetty101

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Why Women Struggle to Lose Weight

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If you are like me and you struggle to lose weight around the midsection, then you know it is annoying.  Especially, when your spouse is either working out less or the same amount as you.  And somehow they are losing weight at a fast pace while you barely see the scale move.  I too have been suffering from the dilemma all summer.  So I came across an article written on Dr. Axe website called, “9 Reasons Why Women Struggle to Lose Weight + Solutions.”  This has helped me a lot so maybe it can help you.

 

Reasons why women struggle to lose weight - Dr. Axe

Full article can be read at https://draxe.com/reasons-why-women-struggle-lose-weight-and-weight-loss-tips/

 

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Healthy Lifestyle Goals

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So since 2015, before I was pregnant, I was on this new health kick where if I workout hard then I could eat whatever I wanted.  And for a while that worked until I got pregnant.  Now before I was pregnant I weighed a solid 150 lbs. and dropped down to 140 lbs.  But oh when I went in to delivery I was an even 200 lbs.  Now that is a lot for myself since my biggest size was a 10 in juniors.  Now some of you may be thinking that 200 lbs is not so bad but if you have seen any pictures of me then you know that 200 lbs was a far cry from the 110 lbs my freshman year of college.

Since I was active and working out before I was pregnant and a little while pregnant, I thought, first baby my body would just snap back into place like I had seen some of my friends.  WRONG!!!!!! My body and genetics is completely different from my friends.  See once I had my baby I only dropped 20 lbs.  Yeap, just a measly 20 lbs.  So I thought well maybe I just have to give it some time.  Nope that didn’t work either over 6 months had past and not a single pound was dropped.  So I came up with a weekly goal and a plan.  Though I have been working on this lifestyle and tweaking things here and there I am determined to get down to 150 lbs before my birthday in November.  So wish me luck….

  1. Workout at least 5 times a week
  2. Healthier meals (no wings) (ok at least not every week)
  3. Motivation and consistency is key
  4. Don’t lose faith, progress is slow and the reward is awesome
  5. Make it a friends and family thing (this will push you even more and make you competitive)
  6. Keep progress reports and change things if results are not showing in 2 weeks time
  7. And you are not alone…..
  8. Love yourself in whatever stage
  9. No shortcuts (plastic surgery) – maybe a breast lift
  10. And I ran out of things to say LOL….enjoy

Thanks for reading…. SimplyBetty101

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Parent’s Fear: Raising a Child In America Part 1

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Everyday fears start to form the moment of known conception for any parent, especially mothers’.  Women are known for having their minds wonder to dark and scary places of the world. For some people dangers of the world are always outside and in public places until they realize it can also be at home.  No one wants to think that any harm can come to their children when they are there monitoring them and watching for noticeable dangers.  But what about those that are unseen?

For instance, it’s a good day to go to the amusement park in your area.  It’s a good way to relax and get some of that childhood thrill in with your kids.  So you’re there having fun, playing games, riding on rides, and all of suddenly blink.  The day is over and it’s time to head home.  No threats, no worries, just pure fun with family.  But what if we rewind the day and go back to when you were reaching to get a snack for your 8-year-old and turned around and all of suddenly blink.  Their gone, and you look slowly back and forth for a half of second, nothing.  Now panic starts building up as you call their name and no answer.  Even more panic and now frantic because there is no answer just people walking by looking past you and unnoticed to your concern.  You frantically scan each passing face near and far, no , no, no.  With each no to your child’s face you go into a full-fledged panic attack and now it’s a horror show.

You scream, only now has others started paying attention and coming to your aid.  The local security and police are there to help you, as well as concerned citizens.  As you describe what your child is wearing, your brain does something miraculous.  It starts to remember things that you were unaware of or thought it was of no significance.  Who was around and what they too were wearing, if there were any strangers that rubbed you the wrong way, the last time you actually had contact with your child and what they were doing.  Your heart is beating so fast and pumping so much blood to your brain and making your adrenaline rush to the point now you’re in full fledge predator and protective mode.  But the nightmare has already begun to sink in.  Instead of a pleasant day at the amusement park it has now turned into an amusement nightmare.  The impure thoughts of what is happening to your child, and how they feel, can send anyone into a complete breakdown and shock.

The impure thoughts of what is happening to your child, and how they feel, can send anyone into a complete breakdown and shock.  You’ve seen the news on tv and have heard the horror stories of child victims on social media and TV.  Every possible heinous act that you can think about comes into mind.  These thoughts make the tears just uncontrollable and the blame game sets in.  You start thinking about ways or things that you would’ve done differently that would have prevented this from happening to you.  You even blame yourself for judging other parents that have been through similar situations and mock them on how they didn’t watch their children closely enough.  But you have to remember, fear and what ifs will not bring your child home.  According to Child Watch of North America, An estimated 800,000 children are reported missing each year – more than 2,000 children every day.  An estimated 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys will be sexually victimized before age 18. Yet, only 1 in 3 will tell anyone.

It is dangerous and scary to raise a child in America or even the world today.  But one must keep going forward.  No one is recommending that your child stays locked up until your death.  Everyone knows that children will have to learn to be independent and capable of taking care of themselves.  Are their ways to help prevent such horrible fates for yourself and your children?  Of course, there are plenty of technology out there that can help you monitor your children when they are not around.  Not to mention the damsel kits that can be used when your child is too far from you, https://damselindefense.net/ .  At the rate of America, you would think to just lock your children in the house and never let them out because you never know who will harm your child.  Will it be the trusted daycare associate, the family man neighbor, the coach, the priest at your church, the child you constantly gets bullied at school, or the genocide maniac gun owner at a concert.

The truth is you never know and you must keep watch and teach children how to cope and deal with the dangers of the world.  No one wants to be scared to leave their house everyday.  People should be able to go out and enjoy life while being cautious and aware of their surroundings.  Being prepared, is better than thinking it can never happen to me, because as the saying goes, “you never say never.”  Remember the moment your children can understand certain things it is better to start talking to them about the dangers of the world.  Please do not allow the world to raise and teach your children everything.  Yes, the world is beautiful and amazing but there are hidden dangers everywhere.

 

For more information visit http://childwatch.org/home.html

Child Watch, in cooperation with The Federal Bureau of Investigation Tampa Bay Citizens Academy Alumni Association promotes the FBI’s Child ID App.

The (FBITBCAAA) is a community-based and supported organization that promotes a safer community through outreach and educational events, with emphasis on the mission and leadership role the FBI takes in protecting our communities and nation. The FBITBCAAA is a non-profit organization and is separate and distinct from the FBI.


https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/fbi-child-id/id446158585?mt=8

Copy and paste the above website link to download the FBI’s Child ID App on your smartphone.

 

Thanks for reading….SimplyBetty101

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Thank You Notes/Cards: Are They Necessary?

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If you are reading this blog you’re wondering, why should you send out thank you cards for an event that you put together and paid for?  Well that question popped in my head as well after my wedding and after people were wondering why they haven’t received any 2 months after my big day.  And for some the answer is simple, yes, because it’s tradition.  But is there a deeper meaning to it than just tradition?  I mean who started this notion and why do I have to spend more money and time.  And the simple answer really is, think about those who actually took the time out of their busy schedules to help you celebrate your union, or whatever event it is that you are planning.

Think about it, all those who traveled near and far probably had better things to do then to go to a store, buy you a gift, get dressed, and come see your joyous occasion.  When I think back on my wedding my husband’s family stayed nowhere near where the wedding was taking place and not to mention I had relatives coming from the East and West coast via plane and car just to see a couple who had been together for 10 years already and created life.  It was a celebration for them as well as us.  Granted the last thing I wanted to do was sit down and hand write thank you cards with my horrible 7th grade handwriting.  But it makes one feel special when you thank them for anything that they do.  You never know how that person is feeling that day.  Beside my thank you notes I made sure to make up for the lack of penmanship and not remembering what everyone and who bought us something.  So therefore I included pictures from the big day of us, which I know some family members will enjoy.  Especially since I am horrible about keeping in contact with people throughout the year.  Yes, I know I am a horrible person.  I will get my life together and I’m working on it.

But just to give you a few pointers, once you open a gift make sure you write down who bought what.  This way each thank you note will be personalized.  Also if you know you are horrible with timing you can always have pre-made thank you notes, when someone gives a gift at the wedding they get a thank you note.  My cousin told me about that trick after my wedding was done.  Another way to remember thank you notes, is to have only electronic gifts.  Such as, Bed Bath and Beyond, Amazon, or whatever your favorite place to shop.  That way each registry tells you who bought it and it is delivered straight to your address.  This option also helps with addresses since everyone may not sign the guest book or have legible penmanship.  Of course, these methods do not apply to elders who are not tech savvy, so old-school it is.  Also there are ways you can send electronic thank you notes via email.  The point is, it is a tradition and thoughtful gesture.  Well I hope this helped you, remember your not sending thank you notes just to spend more money but to show gratitude to family, friends, and haters that helped you celebrate your occasion.

 

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101