Category: Relationship

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Mr. Right and the Universe

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Hey you reading this blog hoping that some type of advice will just appear to help you find a husband (Mr. Right), please stop looking. And here’s why

  1. Looking for Mr. Right or husband is only going to attract Mr. Wrong or as I like to call him Mr. Right for right now. Yes, he will seem like he’s God sent but keep him around long enough and you will realize that he is the devil in disguise.
  2. Beware everything that looks good is not always good for you. Some men will prey on women’s vulnerability of being wanted just so they can cash in. I know you have heard of the term gold digger that men use when they’re being cautious of women, well the same applies to women as well. There are men out there wanting to be taken care of like their children.
  3. Watch out for the empty promises. Anytime a man always tells you what he’s going to do but never or rarely follows up with a plan or actually doing what he promised. Run sis because you’ll be left out holding the bill. Even if he acts like he attempted. If he is only coming through on the small promises that’s just to keep you around long enough.
  4. 90% right 10% wrong. If you have a man that you think is your dream man but there is still something about him that makes you second guess. You better listen to that 10% because it is just for show.
  5. Make sure your gut, mind, and spirit are in align when going forward. There are always tell tell signs that something or he is wrong make sure you are paying attention and heeding the warnings.
  6. Also keep in mind he may just be Mr. Right just not right now. People have to grow into the person that they are meant to be. And they may be the person that is meant to be with you but they still have some growing to do. And that goes for you as well. It also doesn’t mean that you have to hold on to one another until that transformation takes place either. If it is meant to be it will happen just give it the proper time and trials and tribulations that one must go through to get there.

Hopefully, this helps you realize your mistakes and maturity level and understand that everybody is not for you or against you. We all have to seek clarity in ourselves in order to receive what is meant for us. When the time is right the universe will align in our favor but not before that.

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Happiness Comes From Within Not Social Media

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The cost of trying to be famous for millennials is not worth selling all of your being. Like bro and sis it is not worth it in the end or the near future. Let’s look at the statistics, how many wealthy people can actually say they are truly happy with their life? I can tell you right now money cannot buy happiness but yes it can solve problems but mo’ money also means mo’ problems. There is more at stake when you have it all boo- ski believe me. Just think about, when you are at the bottom of the economic status you don’t have as much to loose as someone who has built an entire empire and is sitting at the top of the economic pyramid. At any moment they can fall to the bottom alongside you. The only difference between someone with wealth and someone without wealth is the amount of resources that come to you willingly.

Yes, that is the only difference… the resources. Because someone who has “it all,” will have all those who also have it all (and who don’t) trying to get to the hot topic of a person who is new on the scene. But what they don’t show you is when that person is no longer the new kid on the block and they are no longer the sought out after person. Have you ever notice that celebrities who don’t do something drastic every year will soon fade into the background and eventually you forget about them. Well, real life works the same boo. From your job, to church (yes church), sports, social life, you name it. Trying to be the best in all that you do is exhausting. Now I’m not saying striving for your best if that’s what you truly want, is a waste. Only do this if it comes naturally and if it brings you happiness. Some people literally thrive on competition and competitiveness. And that is cool boo boo for you. But some of us can only run on that fuel for so long. Some need a schedule and to carve out time in a day, week, or month. But regardless, finding your self worth is way more rewarding than trying to be glorified and glamourous for social media. See when you know your self worth and then try to be just yourself. You will attract the fame that you were not looking for along with wealth. And when that happens you are now working on your time instead of racing to please everyone else and stay in the spotlight.

Millennials we need to stop looking to social media for validation for our lives. To be honest if you’re not focusing on your self worth and internal wealth then man you’re going to lose and these devastating suicides and homicides will never stop or slow down. I mean with social media being the validation of the “it person,” it’s kind of hard for one to know how to validate themselves. To be honest it isn’t hard, start with meditating, reading, exercising (yes exercise), surround yourself with happy motivating people, seek out positive mentors, go to comedy clubs, volunteer, anything that can be beneficial to your well-being. Material things can only bring temporary happiness which means you still will fill empty if you’re not fulfilled mentally.

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Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder, Misery Loves Company

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They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…but what if the beholder is you? Can you honestly say to yourself everyday that you love what you see…unconditionally? If you answered no to either of those questions than you need to re-evaluate your way of thinking. And realize you’re not the only one but there is hope, all is not lost my friend.

Now just because you’re not alone in this self love imagery, doesn’t mean that it is okay to seek love from others around you or go looking for it. See that’s not how love works. One has to really be okay and utilize all those features that either you don’t like or that everyone makes fun, and make it an advantage rather than a hindrance. That saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, needs to also say that you are the beholder. In this day and age being picked on and bullied doesn’t end at school it can also transpire over social media and the web. It is so easy for children and young adults to feel down and depressed because there is no off switch to the chaos. One can feel like their world is crumbling and life is better without them. And that is just sad and miserable.

But there is also another saying that people seem to forget…misery loves company. And since everyone is pumping out more misery it is easy for them to select those who just can’t catch a break and add to their suffering. Wow how self centered and pathetic we have gotten as a society to think that pain and suffering is enjoyable and will erase that whole in your heart. Confidence, compassion, love, self worth, and others are at an alarming low every time I look at my phone. I can only imagine how those who are still in grade school must feel. I mean the mass shootings and young adult/children suicide numbers should tell us something. But for people who are so consumed by our own world that we don’t even realize that the world doesn’t evolve around us, we evolve around it.

But there is a bright side…like all things that are bad there are opposites or ying and yang. Just like you wake up and feel depressed, lonely, heartless, worthless, etc you can also feel joy, love, compassion, self love, etc. and have everything that is sugar, spice, and nice (you see my rhymes…mad skills yo…lol). You know how you can get that awesome feeling? Just guess…come on think. Practice…what practice, practice what you say. Self love. Yes, start by practicing self love first and everything else will fall into place. See right now those who are preying on you are doing it because you don’t love yourself enough to not allow small or petty things like bullying bother you. You have to set your eyes on the prize… your future and what you’re going to be doing with it. Someone who is focused and driven about what they want in life doesn’t have time to worry about someone who is miserable and trying to add to that misery by including you. Yes, I know there are other forms of bullying like the physical portion but I’m referring to the mental part.

If your mind, spirit, and love for yourself is strong then instead of feeling hurt by others you will realize that you feel sorry for them and keep it moving. Now in order to practice self love you first have to remove yourself from the negative environment so that you can meditate and think for yourself. Not the dark thoughts but the happy thoughts of what could and will be of your dreams. You cannot allow others to control your emotions. Unplug and detox social media and socializing if you have to, so that you can have those moments to yourself. Once you start rationalizing and looking at things and situations in a different light you will soon see that there are other alternatives besides shooting, killing, harming yourself and others. Seek out knowledge and read books to engulf your thoughts and imagination to a place of happiness and then try to apply some of those feelings of self love outward. So yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beholder is you. Don’t let anyone try to stump on happiness and depress your soul. Lead by example and be extraordinary.

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Toddler’s Season

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I’m a toddler that has the attention span like the wind.

One minute I’m here and the next second I’m there and then back here again.

But I’m loving and warm like a summer breeze but can be cold and annoying like a winter blizzard.

Like the spring and autumn seasons I can pour in with the tears of sadness because I’m hurt or tears of laughter.

But like the flowers of sunshine you love to see me bloom and fill the air with sweetness.

Like the year round seasons I go through my transitions sometimes in day. But we both know you can’t do without me.

You love everything about me as I love you. You come running when you hear me howling. And you caress and carry me from the boogeymans that try to haunt and hurt me.

I will always be there as you will as well until our seasons are permanently over. When the Angel’s of the beautiful sky calls us home to our resting place.

We will no longer go through seasons, just pure joy of a perfect sunshine. Until the end of never ending time.

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Disappointments and/or Discouraged: Support Systems and Checks and Balances

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I’m going to be honest, a lot of times I get discouraged and/or disappointed with the way things are going in my life.  Now is there something wrong chemically in my head, no.  I just go through some things in life that trigger a pity party in my head just like any other person.  Luckily I don’t stay there for long maybe a couple of days at the most and then I’m back to my old chippery self.  Rather if it’s a argument with my spouse or some harsh reality that has altered my existence, I do still try to either think about the positives and move on.  Or deal with it and then move on.  

Just like anybody else in this world, I get thrown curve balls on a regular.  And when your in a relationship it is either a hindrance or a blessing to have a partner that can alter your discouraging state of mind.  If you are in a relationship, having a compatible partner is crucial especially if you suffer from depression or some suicidal thoughts.  Support systems are essential in everyone’s life no matter how strong your will and spirit is.  Checks and balances can be applied to almost every aspect of your life.  For instance, a person can go through school doing what they think is great but in their parents or teachers eyes their doing the bare minimal.  Now if neither one of those people, your support system, tells you to either try harder or do better, will you know to do it on your own?  Or how about your feeling sad and feel like the walls are closing in on you and you have nowhere to turn and you just want this to end or your life to end so you can’t feel pain, shame, guilt, burden to others, pity, and etc.  But you have that one friend, partner, relative, someone who is paying attention and comes to your rescue time and time again to talk you away from that ledge, knife, gun, rope, bedsheet, etc.  Having that person beside you makes a big difference in this world and makes a weak minded person feel like they can grow and accomplish anything.  

Disappointments will come and you will feel discouraged.  But if you have surrounded yourself with the right support system then you won’t feel discouraged for long. The checks and balances you have in place will make you feel more uplifted and encouraged.  There are times where we are not aware of our support system, it can well enough be a stranger.  Yes, a strange person can feel compel to come to your aid when you least expect it and need it the most.  Weird how life works sometimes, but it  is necessary.  This is not going to be much longer, I just wanted to share my thoughts and personal feelings.  Yes, I do fear the darkness that the world can provide but I overwhelming enjoy the lighter side of the world.  Joy comes in the morning and the darkness doesn’t last always.  If you are ever in a dark place that seems like it’s never ending, please look for the light in any way shape or form.  No matter how small that light may be.  Remember, everyone needs checks and balances from a support system.  

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Lost of Inspiration: My Plans of Making a Better Life

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So as you can see I took my website down for about a month, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to write but because I just didn’t feel like writing.  I just wasn’t inspired to write anything, anything good that is.  I let my life take on a hectic turn of events and being unorganized.  I was so focused on upcoming events that are short-term happiness that I took my focus away from something that could possibly be an awesome hobby for me.

So with that being said I have refocused my attention to my happiness and in the process try to find my true purpose of my life.  I want my life to be wonderful and more blissful than what it already has.  Crazy I know wanting more happiness and enjoyment of time with family, it’s crazy to even think about it and even trying to accomplish it may seem impossible.  But it really isn’t.  Similar to those that I have met that smoke their problems away, don’t seem to care about many troubles of the world nor the small ones that plague so many lives and cause so much destruction and stress.  No I’m not saying that I will smoke or start smoking for that matter or even turn to other drugs but I can take the same approach to accomplishing a more lax lifestyle.  As the great song by Lil Duval says, “I’m living my best life.”  I am truly happy at the way things have turned out for me so far.  And I definitely can’t wait to see what comes up ahead.

But my steps at getting towards that happiness is simple so far and I’m still working out some kinks of course.  But it all starts with my health.  The things that I put into my body have to be of benefit to me in the essence of my survival and longevity.  I’m not saying that I am vegan or a vegetarian, but the concepts of eating healthy and more natural foods is definitely a journey on its own.  Also, if I am eating correctly as well as my family then working out is also essential to make sure my body and mind is in tune with the universe.  I am still working on syncing everything together but I love the experience so far.

Next, it’s getting my plans together for the remainder of my life.  Things that I want to do, places that I want to see, and people I want to meet.  And not to mention the life experiences I will get to experience.  Once you start meditating and getting your mind-body and soul together the outside world is not so scary nor is it a bother on nonsense and frivolous things.  Such as, bills, money worries, worldly desires, and amongst other things.

Finally, getting my spiritual body is a journey that I have been struggling with for years now.  Making sure that I am on the right path is crucial to myself, family, and those that I positively affect around me.  Even the negative energy that I may give off unknowingly has to be kept in check at all times.  Knowing when you are in a bad mood can allow evil spirits to enter and be released to those around you and have a negative effect.

So making sure my body inside and out it taken care of, making sure that my life is less stressful and beneficial, and lastly making sure my spiritual mind-body and soul in check.  It’s all apart of my plan to make sure my life is non regretful and fulfilled with happiness.

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Black Parent’s Fear: Raising a Child in America Part 2

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It’s a beautiful day today, maybe we should have a cookout in the park.  My 6’3″ husband with his sexy dark chocolate skin and shoulder length dreads put our more handsome dark almond son in his seat.  I pack the food and everything we would need into our car nevermind the make and model, it shouldn’t be important.  Or should it?  Because I’m also slightly tall standing at 5’7″ with almond long legs.  I know that beautiful bundle of joy that I carried for 40 weeks is a target.  I can’t help but fear for him every time he is out of my sight.  Just like I know my husband’s mother probably shouldn’t worry about both of her tall sons but in the back of her mind she does.  It’s strange to me know knowing the biggest fear I had in life was having a son.  And even though I can’t live without him the fears and anxiety I have about his future is very real.

Everyday I turn on my phone and there it is on my social media timelines about someone being attacked or killed for the color of their skin.  All because of the assumption that the opposite race had of them.  What has become of America?  Has it always been this violent and we as people didn’t have much light shed on it because of social media?  Is it a curse and a blessing to have so much information at our fingertips?  But what if we didn’t have the resources?  Would the danger still be this real or we just more oblivious to it?  I can’t help but wonder is there a better place in the world to raise a brown skin family?

No I don’t want my son living in a world where so much hatred exist for other human beings as if no one’s life matters but our own.  He’s a toddler now and everyday I question my thoughts on how to explain race issues and when.  When would it be a good time to sit my handsome son down and explain to him what is going on in this world and to be mindful of his surroundings at all times?  Questions such as, should I wait till he experiences this issue or will that be too late for his precious life.  The mere thought of living life without my child or worst having to bury him before my time is up is horrifying.  No parent should have to worry about these things at any point in their lives.  Only the thoughts of proms, graduations, weddings, and every other exciting milestone should be in a parents thought.  The fact that I have anxiety attacks that send me to my knees in pray whenever my husband leaves the house is no good for my health nor thoughts.  But this is America.

I know if I constantly think in this way then I have allowed those who try to insert fear and supremacy into people’s lives win.  But if I don’t think about the possibilities then I am just as a fool who thinks that nothing bad could happen to them.  I do believe in law of attraction, therefore, I do think about old age and prosperity anytime those evil thoughts creep into my mind.  I also think about alternatives to those horrible events to the point that I pray instantly and think of a better outcome.   So all hope is not lost and I know that my son will have a better future in America but for those that have and will go through tragedy.  There is always a light at the end of the tunnel you just have to keep moving.

 

Thanks…SimplyBetty101

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What I Wish I Knew…About College!!!!

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Ok so I know the semester has already started but there are just somethings I need to say. First, no one prepared me for the reality of college and what all it intelled. I was just thinking it was another form of high school just bigger. Boy was I mistaken.

I wish I was more mentally prepared for what was to come within the first semester alone. Because high school was so relaxed and I had my parents their to help with the slack. It was overwhelming when I was just thrown into the adult world. I didn’t have the skills on how to meditate and get use my critical thinking skills on such short notice. But I quickly learned. Networking was another mental hurdle I had to overcome. Getting to know my professors, department head, chancellors, counselors, and upper classmen, was vital for my survival in college.

Another concept trait I wish I had was responsibility. Being in high school and younger my parents were always there. The moment I went to college I found out very quickly that all responsibilities were now on me. Everything from grades, student loans, financial aid, and a slue of other things. I had to learn that no one was going to pick up where I was slacking nor check me when I needed it.

Speaking of financial aid and student loans. I didn’t understand the full capacity of loans and what they really meant. I just thought it was money given to cover tuition and that was it. I was definitely not expecting to pay so much back. If I understood that, I would’ve taken out so much or just looked to alternatives as far as school and career choices.

Next, big thing was my major which at first was business management. Then I learned and was forced that this major is not my cup of tea. Luckily, I found out within 2 years before I graduated with pathetic grades and just slipped through the cracks. So I ended up changing my major to history something that I was way more interested in and enjoyed. Choosing a major was a huge critical decision I had to make on my own. Instead of choosing a major that my parents had partaken I chose something that I loved.

Finally, I wished that I had explored more in all those hobbies and interests. Just to say that I attempted and that was checked off my bucket list. Rather it was fashion, hair, careers, preference in sex, everyone around me was exploring different aspects of life except for me because I wanted to stay with the norm. Or what I thought and possibly my friends and family thought was the norm. I just should’ve shook off those nerves and jumped.

But all things turn out the way they are suppose to in life and I truly have I regrets about college. Even the chances that I didn’t take, who knows I probably would’ve been one of those out of control people that did something extremely stupid. Thus suffering from the consequences of those decisions for the rest of my life.

SimplyBetty101

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Have You Figured Yourself Out, Yet? If Not… Do Your Homework

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Sometimes figuring out what it is that you want to do in life is hard. Or you may just be struggling with figuring out your identity in this world. There are plenty of reasons on why you may feel lost. But there is hope, you have to do your homework on yourself.

What I mean is that, not everyone will have an idea of what their life is at an early age. Some may just take a while or circumstances to trigger what it is you’re supposed to be doing. And that is fine. The world is not ending (well maybe to some). But the point is, it is never too late to start a wonderful life. You hear the saying “You’re never too old,” often no matter if you agree with the situation or not. Or even that wonderful phrase you take for granted, “you’re still young, you got time.” Well, they’re not wrong. As long as you are breathing and functioning to the level to accomplish those newly ideas, then your good.

But if you still haven’t figured out what it is your suppose to do, research. You have to sit down and truly think about what it is that makes you tick. What makes you get out of bed every morning. Or what motivates you to be excited about life. For example, from my experience in life, things that have come naturally and are wonderful for me to do, use to come easy when I was younger. Now that I have made them into a career I have found a lot of challenges. Which leads me to believe that I am on the right path. I believe that because if I was just doing this as a hobby or just in my spare time, there wouldn’t be so many obstacles.

Evil doings in the world will put obstacles in your way to make you deter from what you truly should be doing in life. But if you pressure through the reward will be well worth it. Just believing in yourself you be great motivation you need to preserve through those hardships. Anything that is easily given all the time may not be correct blessing and you should caution the outcomes.

SimplyBetty101

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Mars vs Venus : WHY DO YOU…?

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A mother wakes up, gets the kids ready for school, and gets herself ready for the day. Your spouse on the other hand wakes up and just thinks about themselves, no hand in getting ready. This is just an example that I have seen, I know not all men are like this. But I do question, why is it such an amazement that men who actually help with their kids get a trophy?

Wake up, men helped create the child even though the women are the easy bake ovens that carried them. And no I do not want to hear about how women are more nurturing than men and it’s in our DNA. I am a living breathing person just like a man and no I didn’t take a class on being a nurturing. It was taught to me either by example or what I wanted as a child growing up. Therefore, men should have that same concept of what it takes to be a parent. Now I do know that there are a lot of dad’s out there that are putting in unbelievable hours at being a parent and example. This is not bashing men but simply just an inquiry.

Please inform me at what point in life was it mandatory for women to just be the only nurturer? Was in biblical days, turn of the century, or was it just something that was molded over time? I would really love to know which is probably why I will be spending some time researching that aspect. But regardless, men are capable of being nurturing and compassionate. How do I know this, how did your spouse get you in the first place? Were they romantic in any kind of way? Did they do little things to show that they cared? Or did he just come in and sweep you off your feet?

If you answered yes to any of those or thought about any memory that put a smile on your face, then my dear that is proof that men are very capable. But because this notion has never been brought up in a argument or disagreement it has never been pointed out before. Men pay attention and take the time to invest in things that are their own interest. And a lot of times, women are their interest. So a man will say or do what he needs to get to the goal line or end zone. So with that being said they too can also put in the time and effort to assist more with the creations they helped to produce. Besides, it’s their sperm that starts this whole process anyway. I can have embryos in full cycle all I want but without that juice it’s going to do absolutely nothing.

Now to my ladies out there, stop accepting the least or society’s’ norm of a man’s role when it comes to the children. And while I am at it, housework as well. Please remember that it only applies to men who think that those roles are solely for the women. These are new times and people love being involved and making trends. So there are plenty of role models such as celebrities who are completely involved in their kids lives. I would advise to women, give ultimatum, drop hints, and/or act like you admire celebrities that your man respect who are actively in just about everything with their kids. Basically trick them, like you do to get other things out of him. It’s that simple and I guarantee the only people who will benefit more than anyone else, guess, no not the mother but the children.

SimplyBetty101