Tag: choices

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Comfort Zone: It’s Your No. 1 Failure

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You’re probably wondering why someone would say that your comfort zone is your failure. And why anyone would think it deserves the number 1 spot. Well, it’s simple, if you take a mirror and look at your life right now, can you say there are things you wish to add but it’s not necessary? Are you ok, with the way things are going and hope nothing major happens to throw you out of whack? Then you’re in a comfort zone no matter how you slice it.

I remember growing up my dad would always tell me that at any point I can come home. And that was enticing and comfortable to know that I always had a crutch to lean on. But he also would state that two women cannot be queens in the same castle. In other words, if I chose to move back home then it was apparent that me and my mother would klash all the time. Because I would have to remember that even though I am grown I am not grown enough to where that living with my parents would suit my personality. And that right there gave me the push to always stay on my toes and grind. Now it didn’t mean that I was always successful because at some point I did have to move back in with parents just not my parents. And a 9 month plan turned into 6 months and out. I was determined to be queen of my own castle. Again, my personality is something else.

But that is that comfort zone being shook until your head hurts and your stomach aches in pain constantly. Even if your life is well accomplished and you don’t have to ask for anything. If you have that constant idea that keeps popping in your head over the years and you think there is no chance. Just continue to wait, the universe will force you out of that comfort zone eventually and then my friend you will have no choice but to take that leap of faith. For example, I recently watched on a talk show that a man had been working for 15 years approximately as a sales rep and all of sudden lost his job. He had stability and a great income with no problems but in the back of his head his passion was for cooking. All of a sudden the company went in a new direction and laid him off. Now that comfort zone he had for 15 years was gone. So guess what, that nagging idea he had has no choice but to take the leap because at this point he has nothing to lose. Now I’m not saying that something as drastic as getting fired has to happen. Maybe you don’t like your job at all and everyday that you are there is enough to push you out of your comfort zone to work on your craft at any spare moment. The sheer thought of handing in your resignation letter is enough motivation to get you moving.

So next time you think everything is cozy and comfortable just make sure you have done absolutely everything your heart has desired. That way the universe won’t have to shake things up for and force you to re-think your life’s choices. As long as you have breathe in your body it is not too late. Heck I even read about a man who was in his 70s or 80s that became a millionaire again after selling his first business and hitting rock bottom. There’s stories about elderly people who go back and get a college degree. There’s another one about an elderly couple having a child after years of failure. So instead of letting the universe shake up your world in a harsh way. Shake it up yourself and strive for the best you. You should always be in beast mode or hustle mode in everything that you do. Taking opportunities to learn from every experience and failure and turning them into stepping stones. That is how leaders and separated from the following pack. You are great… see it… feel it… and become it.

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Mars vs Venus : WHY DO YOU…?

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A mother wakes up, gets the kids ready for school, and gets herself ready for the day. Your spouse on the other hand wakes up and just thinks about themselves, no hand in getting ready. This is just an example that I have seen, I know not all men are like this. But I do question, why is it such an amazement that men who actually help with their kids get a trophy?

Wake up, men helped create the child even though the women are the easy bake ovens that carried them. And no I do not want to hear about how women are more nurturing than men and it’s in our DNA. I am a living breathing person just like a man and no I didn’t take a class on being a nurturing. It was taught to me either by example or what I wanted as a child growing up. Therefore, men should have that same concept of what it takes to be a parent. Now I do know that there are a lot of dad’s out there that are putting in unbelievable hours at being a parent and example. This is not bashing men but simply just an inquiry.

Please inform me at what point in life was it mandatory for women to just be the only nurturer? Was in biblical days, turn of the century, or was it just something that was molded over time? I would really love to know which is probably why I will be spending some time researching that aspect. But regardless, men are capable of being nurturing and compassionate. How do I know this, how did your spouse get you in the first place? Were they romantic in any kind of way? Did they do little things to show that they cared? Or did he just come in and sweep you off your feet?

If you answered yes to any of those or thought about any memory that put a smile on your face, then my dear that is proof that men are very capable. But because this notion has never been brought up in a argument or disagreement it has never been pointed out before. Men pay attention and take the time to invest in things that are their own interest. And a lot of times, women are their interest. So a man will say or do what he needs to get to the goal line or end zone. So with that being said they too can also put in the time and effort to assist more with the creations they helped to produce. Besides, it’s their sperm that starts this whole process anyway. I can have embryos in full cycle all I want but without that juice it’s going to do absolutely nothing.

Now to my ladies out there, stop accepting the least or society’s’ norm of a man’s role when it comes to the children. And while I am at it, housework as well. Please remember that it only applies to men who think that those roles are solely for the women. These are new times and people love being involved and making trends. So there are plenty of role models such as celebrities who are completely involved in their kids lives. I would advise to women, give ultimatum, drop hints, and/or act like you admire celebrities that your man respect who are actively in just about everything with their kids. Basically trick them, like you do to get other things out of him. It’s that simple and I guarantee the only people who will benefit more than anyone else, guess, no not the mother but the children.

SimplyBetty101

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In Home Dinner Date….

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12 oz. Ribeye Steak seasoned with Kosher salt, black pepper, and garlic

Spring salad with bleu cheese salad mix with creamy ceasar dressing

Brown rice made with velveeta cheese, spinach, mushrooms, and sharp cheddar cheese

Hawaiian roll

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Transitioning….?

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What if your transitioning into a new you whether it’s for work, new home, parenthood, or just phasing out if the party life. What is now the new norm for you? What else fun is there to do that is more your speed?

I’m currently going through that transitioning as I type this up. Now that I am married, a parent, and focused more on my career of being my own boss. Things that use to interest me just don’t do it for me anymore. The fact that I am more excited to buy decor and furniture for our new place than for me to go out and party, is way more exciting. Like a kid in a candy store excited. Going to family events and being in a calm environment that’s more controlled and stable is wonderful. Don’t get me wrong I love a good turnup just like the next person but only on my own terms with like minded people as well. When you surround yourself with people that are also transitioning, you find that very similar bond and growth that you may just need. A support group. This also means new friends.

But if you can transition with those you have been friends with it can be an awesome feeling and experience. But if you can’t, don’t give up so easily. So just because you are now in a different space than those you cherish doesn’t mean you have to abandon them. Try coaching or encouraging them to get on your level or higher. You may be surprised at what you find. Sometimes people just need others to lead so that they can fall suit. Not all leaders start off as leaders and not all followers will stay followers.

Thanks SimplyBetty101

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Exhaustion: Mental, Physical, and Emotional Toll

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Exhaustion can set in when you least expect it and be an inconvenience. If you have been running on excitement and adrenaline for the past couple of hours, days, weeks, or whatever your time span is. Once that excitement wears off and your mood starts to change so does your energy. And that’s when exhaustion sets in.

It’s not easy to predict or prepare for when your busy and only thinking of the happy ending. But what we don’t take into account is the actual time it takes to get to that happy ending. For example, how many times have you planned something to the second of how its suppose to go rather it’s a party or you’re getting ready for one and things don’t go as plan. Or you end up being late because something got thrown off. Whatever the reason time was not on your side. Same for exhaustion.

You can be running and running on whatever energy that is getting the job done and then… BOOM. Time shows up and you’re out of it. Or if you did get it all done enjoying it will either never come or come later after you have recouped from the exhaustion. I know people say pace yourself and don’t rush. But when you live in a time sensitive world not much can be paced.

Now of course, most of us would just take something before that feeling of sit down kicks in. Like an energy drink, coffee, or for you illegal or maybe legal users something like a recreational drug can help. I know you have seen the caffeine pills sold at the gas stations by the register. But if we are always hyped up on adrenaline then there is something that can make us sit down. If you haven’t figured it out yet, here’s a clue the name is in the title. Yeap, good old friend exhaustion again. See even if you’re hyped up on caffeine to help keep you going, unfortunately we are not Energizer bunnies. Ladies and gents your body will crash. Some in an okay stable way at home or close and the others in an ambulance. See your mind might be ready but there is only so much the body can take. And believe me when it breaks it breaks people to a full fledge halt.

So be mindful of your limits because exhaustion can come in any form. Rather its physical, mental, or even spiritual it will take you out and force you to rest. Even if you’re not ready or don’t want to. Just make sure you’re paying attention to your needs and not just your wants. Thanks… SimplyBetty101

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Family Time: Values and Morals

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As I sit here thinking of things to talk about there is only one thing that comes to mind… my family. Most importantly my son and the values, morals, and life lessons of what will shape him to become a man one day. Though I have done some silly things in my twenties (not to give away my age… I’m still there barely) that I am currently trying to fix for the betterment of our lives. There are some things that were very beneficial to me and molding me to the person I am today.

Being a parent is a wonderful thing and a grand experience, but it can also be a terrifying one as well. Being responsible for a person that will have an impact on humanity in any kind of way is a scary thought. There are all kinds of what ifs and did I do it correctly that just come at you like a boulder. Sure, you think about getting your child into the best schools, raising them in the safest neighborhood that you can afford, giving them the luxuries that you never had growing up, and most importantly making sure you instill those main core values that a person would need to function in this world. In my previous blog Sour-Patch Kids: What Discipline Action Should Be Taken If Any? I touched about giving a child discipline through spanking and asked if it was a good idea? But in this blog, I want the subject to be a more fun and energetic vibe. Instead of asking questions, I will just go over some things that I do with my son and why I create that participation with him.

First, what is important to me when it comes to my son? And the answer to that question is simply… time. Spending time with my son in any kind of way is important, including the time apart. See this little person that developed and grew from conception until birth inside of me, must learn about the world in the best way I know how to teach him. Example, when we go to the zoo and see different animals that is a way for him to learn perception and exploration. Letting him know that the world is way bigger than what he sees daily and that his everyday characters that he sees on tv are inspired by real life animals. It also teaches him different vocabulary and restraint. See I have a toddler that is still developing verbal skills so exposing him to different aspects of the zoo where he can physically touch, smell, and interact with animals gets him excited to learn and see more. These trips and other fun activities are also considered bonding time together. This is also where body language is can be at its finest. Think about it, how many times have you been watching your child to then realize for some odd reason your child is about to make a mad dash somewhere, or about to fall and hurt themselves. It’s like you have a sixth sense of what is about to happen and how terrible it can be.

Being in public teaches your child control and restraint because at home lets face it they run everything or just with no boundaries and you’re not on edge as much. Same thing with playtime, all the important factors of life are taught and learned through your child’s playtime. It may seem small in your eyes right now but think about it. Your child can hit your nerves and your’re almost at your breaking point. But your child learns those subtle cues of I’m about to get in trouble let me stop. Or they smile with a grimace and instead test my parents… lol.
Let’s face it kids are in their learning stages from the moment they are born until the day they decide to completely learn on their own. So, to sum everything up I love the time I get with my child. It’s a learning experience for him that teaches him core values, morals, body language, importance of family, and a list of other things.