Tag: failure

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Should Marriages Have An Expiration Date Similiar to Driver’s License?

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So I was questioned about a video that I did, Vlog; Should Marriages Have the Option to Expire Every 4 Years? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbec1osyDIY. And basically I was asked about the effects about how a system like that should work and the countermeasures that should be in place due to the fact that people homes would be wrecked beyond repair. Now I am all for having a conversation about a hypothetical situation just as much as I love the discussion on real issues today. But this was a hypothetical proposal and was all opinionated. But I will entertain the situation and go more into details. And I would like to ask the question, is everything in today’s failed marriages fixed.

In other words, we cannot find a solution to every single problem in every single person’s life in the world. Think about, if there were solutions to everyone’s problems then there wouldn’t be so many inventions to make everyday tasks better, there wouldn’t be so many prescriptions written for the opioid crisis, there wouldn’t be so many psychiatrist and psychologist, doctors, teachers, and the list goes on. Hell there are solutions to some problems that we didn’t even know we had. But my point is there will always be a flaw in any new governmental law that is put into place. Especially for the ideas that have never been done before. We can’t talk about what if problems of a hypothetical law that will have an affect on families when the laws and customs that we have today also have effects on families now.

The only reason why this concept of having a marriage expire like a driver’s license came up was due to the fact the the divorce rate in the United States alone is about 40 to 50 percent. That’s literally saying that half of the people you know who are married have or will get a divorce. That is a shockingly high percentage. Especially on a country that pushes for family economical growth. Now financially for those whose careers flourish or profit off of divorces, I can understand why you may oppose the idea of a marriage expiring versus to going to divorce court. But if America was to every entertain the idea of marriages expiring it may actually have a better effect on people and their families. These long/short term marriages have devastating effects financially and mentally on the main parties involved.

Think about it, if two people who think they are in love and want to spend the rest of theirs lives together get married. But then find out the horrible truth let’s say 3 years into the marriage. Instead of paying thousands of dollars to get out of the marriage they can allow it to expire the following year without adding on the stress of financial burden. I mean if we look at states that recognize common law marriage we can say it’s kind of already into place. Of course, there are some restrictions or rules to the common law marriage but can technically be voided at anytime.

Temporary marriage/expiring marriage should work the same. If we went through the marriage process as normal, meeting someone, invested interest, intent on living til death do you part, building a family, etc. But found out sooner than later that it’s not going to work out then we should be able to walk away with the least amount of damage. Now in my opinion of this hypothetical temporary/expiring marriage I believe some rules and outcomes should be in place. For example:

  1. Obtain marriage license and get married as per requirements now
  2. Have the option to allow your marriage to be temporary/expire after 4 years
  3. If temporary/expire option has been chosen and couple decide to continue in marriage then court will deem marriage as full status or complete (whatever terminology decided)
  4. If couple decides to allow marriage to expire then couple will have to appear before judge stating that they will respectfully and agree that both parties should separate. This will allow families to not go bankrupt and have families be a bit more civil (again my opinion)

Now I know your thinking what about the effects it will have of career persons that have invested interest on marriages failing and the effects that it will have long and short term on children and family members. And to those facts I say unto you, how do you think families are doing now financially, emotionally, and mentally with divorce rates being high now. And those who are banking off failing marriages believe me just like everyone else who have fallen off the financial high wagon there will be other opportunities that arise within this suggestion that will allow them to be just fine. Just like any other careers that have been altered in the past due to major economic changes in America.

What would be so different with this adjustment. I do believe some people are so lazy and scared that instead of focusing their energy on being positive and coming up with a better game plan for when things hit the fan. They rather blame others and just sit there festering about how things were. Things change all the time across all spectrums and yet many of us still find ways to come out on top. But as stated this is a hypothetical situation that may never come into forewishion. But the concept or something similar may just work if the right thought and time was put into place to allow such an idea to prosper.

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Comfort Zone: It’s Your No. 1 Failure

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You’re probably wondering why someone would say that your comfort zone is your failure. And why anyone would think it deserves the number 1 spot. Well, it’s simple, if you take a mirror and look at your life right now, can you say there are things you wish to add but it’s not necessary? Are you ok, with the way things are going and hope nothing major happens to throw you out of whack? Then you’re in a comfort zone no matter how you slice it.

I remember growing up my dad would always tell me that at any point I can come home. And that was enticing and comfortable to know that I always had a crutch to lean on. But he also would state that two women cannot be queens in the same castle. In other words, if I chose to move back home then it was apparent that me and my mother would klash all the time. Because I would have to remember that even though I am grown I am not grown enough to where that living with my parents would suit my personality. And that right there gave me the push to always stay on my toes and grind. Now it didn’t mean that I was always successful because at some point I did have to move back in with parents just not my parents. And a 9 month plan turned into 6 months and out. I was determined to be queen of my own castle. Again, my personality is something else.

But that is that comfort zone being shook until your head hurts and your stomach aches in pain constantly. Even if your life is well accomplished and you don’t have to ask for anything. If you have that constant idea that keeps popping in your head over the years and you think there is no chance. Just continue to wait, the universe will force you out of that comfort zone eventually and then my friend you will have no choice but to take that leap of faith. For example, I recently watched on a talk show that a man had been working for 15 years approximately as a sales rep and all of sudden lost his job. He had stability and a great income with no problems but in the back of his head his passion was for cooking. All of a sudden the company went in a new direction and laid him off. Now that comfort zone he had for 15 years was gone. So guess what, that nagging idea he had has no choice but to take the leap because at this point he has nothing to lose. Now I’m not saying that something as drastic as getting fired has to happen. Maybe you don’t like your job at all and everyday that you are there is enough to push you out of your comfort zone to work on your craft at any spare moment. The sheer thought of handing in your resignation letter is enough motivation to get you moving.

So next time you think everything is cozy and comfortable just make sure you have done absolutely everything your heart has desired. That way the universe won’t have to shake things up for and force you to re-think your life’s choices. As long as you have breathe in your body it is not too late. Heck I even read about a man who was in his 70s or 80s that became a millionaire again after selling his first business and hitting rock bottom. There’s stories about elderly people who go back and get a college degree. There’s another one about an elderly couple having a child after years of failure. So instead of letting the universe shake up your world in a harsh way. Shake it up yourself and strive for the best you. You should always be in beast mode or hustle mode in everything that you do. Taking opportunities to learn from every experience and failure and turning them into stepping stones. That is how leaders and separated from the following pack. You are great… see it… feel it… and become it.