Tag: feelings

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Empowerment of Women and Ourselves: You Deserve It Boo!!!!

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So I’m in a book club and the conversation about how women treat each other came up.  Basically, asking are you a bully or a protector? And most of us realized that we were taught to be tough either by strong female presence growing up or we fell victim to a strong female. We are all products of our environments and most of the time our environments are unintentionally teaching us to be mean girls.

For instance, for me growing up all I saw females being vindictive towards each other and seeing what pain we could inflict on each other. It wasn’t until my mom remarried and I actually got to see togetherness and empowerment from other women towards me.  Not to mention the unconditional love. As I went off to college I had to learn how to redefine what empowerment was not just for myself but to others around me.

It’s not easy to undo impressionable years of hate but with good intentions and better surroundings we can do anything we set our minds to.  Especially women, at times and throughout history we are the most mistreated beings on earth.  But also the most forgiving.  Remembering the pain and inflection that we went through.  It’s sad to see all the brokenness and struggle that we as women go through internally but it’s even more amazing to see the transformation.  The concept of being a better person or better woman in that matter it can be difficult.

I mean is it just me or does the universe intentionally try you when you’re trying to be a better woman.  It never fails every time I have a good talk or great women empowerment get togethers it’s like the universe says hold on ba boo-ski let me try your ratchet side.  And I have to do a countdown in my head to try and not snatch the woman who is trying me that day.  But hey we are all human and mistakes happen and we have to decide in that moment that we are better than that person trying to bring out the ratchetness in you.  But I’m trying and so should you.  Don’t let these crazies knock you off your horse and knock off your crown.  Be better, look better, act better, and know better because you are better and they are just jealous.  And we all know misery loves company.

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Love Dreams

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Love is beautiful,

Love is kind,

Love is vision,

And love is blind.

Love is life but love is death,

Love can make anyone feel their last breath.

Love is merciful,

Love can give meaning, but what is everyone’s love dreaming?

Love can easily be given,

But love can be taken away.

Love is weird,

We can’t help who it is.

Some would say that love can be evil,

Once opposites attract, oh Lord my dear.

Love is a language we try to understand,

But there are ones who cannot grasp love in their hands.

Love can be frightening, do you catch my drift?

Because without love we all will cease to exist.

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Mr. Right and the Universe

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Hey you reading this blog hoping that some type of advice will just appear to help you find a husband (Mr. Right), please stop looking. And here’s why

  1. Looking for Mr. Right or husband is only going to attract Mr. Wrong or as I like to call him Mr. Right for right now. Yes, he will seem like he’s God sent but keep him around long enough and you will realize that he is the devil in disguise.
  2. Beware everything that looks good is not always good for you. Some men will prey on women’s vulnerability of being wanted just so they can cash in. I know you have heard of the term gold digger that men use when they’re being cautious of women, well the same applies to women as well. There are men out there wanting to be taken care of like their children.
  3. Watch out for the empty promises. Anytime a man always tells you what he’s going to do but never or rarely follows up with a plan or actually doing what he promised. Run sis because you’ll be left out holding the bill. Even if he acts like he attempted. If he is only coming through on the small promises that’s just to keep you around long enough.
  4. 90% right 10% wrong. If you have a man that you think is your dream man but there is still something about him that makes you second guess. You better listen to that 10% because it is just for show.
  5. Make sure your gut, mind, and spirit are in align when going forward. There are always tell tell signs that something or he is wrong make sure you are paying attention and heeding the warnings.
  6. Also keep in mind he may just be Mr. Right just not right now. People have to grow into the person that they are meant to be. And they may be the person that is meant to be with you but they still have some growing to do. And that goes for you as well. It also doesn’t mean that you have to hold on to one another until that transformation takes place either. If it is meant to be it will happen just give it the proper time and trials and tribulations that one must go through to get there.

Hopefully, this helps you realize your mistakes and maturity level and understand that everybody is not for you or against you. We all have to seek clarity in ourselves in order to receive what is meant for us. When the time is right the universe will align in our favor but not before that.

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Disappointments and/or Discouraged: Support Systems and Checks and Balances

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I’m going to be honest, a lot of times I get discouraged and/or disappointed with the way things are going in my life.  Now is there something wrong chemically in my head, no.  I just go through some things in life that trigger a pity party in my head just like any other person.  Luckily I don’t stay there for long maybe a couple of days at the most and then I’m back to my old chippery self.  Rather if it’s a argument with my spouse or some harsh reality that has altered my existence, I do still try to either think about the positives and move on.  Or deal with it and then move on.  

Just like anybody else in this world, I get thrown curve balls on a regular.  And when your in a relationship it is either a hindrance or a blessing to have a partner that can alter your discouraging state of mind.  If you are in a relationship, having a compatible partner is crucial especially if you suffer from depression or some suicidal thoughts.  Support systems are essential in everyone’s life no matter how strong your will and spirit is.  Checks and balances can be applied to almost every aspect of your life.  For instance, a person can go through school doing what they think is great but in their parents or teachers eyes their doing the bare minimal.  Now if neither one of those people, your support system, tells you to either try harder or do better, will you know to do it on your own?  Or how about your feeling sad and feel like the walls are closing in on you and you have nowhere to turn and you just want this to end or your life to end so you can’t feel pain, shame, guilt, burden to others, pity, and etc.  But you have that one friend, partner, relative, someone who is paying attention and comes to your rescue time and time again to talk you away from that ledge, knife, gun, rope, bedsheet, etc.  Having that person beside you makes a big difference in this world and makes a weak minded person feel like they can grow and accomplish anything.  

Disappointments will come and you will feel discouraged.  But if you have surrounded yourself with the right support system then you won’t feel discouraged for long. The checks and balances you have in place will make you feel more uplifted and encouraged.  There are times where we are not aware of our support system, it can well enough be a stranger.  Yes, a strange person can feel compel to come to your aid when you least expect it and need it the most.  Weird how life works sometimes, but it  is necessary.  This is not going to be much longer, I just wanted to share my thoughts and personal feelings.  Yes, I do fear the darkness that the world can provide but I overwhelming enjoy the lighter side of the world.  Joy comes in the morning and the darkness doesn’t last always.  If you are ever in a dark place that seems like it’s never ending, please look for the light in any way shape or form.  No matter how small that light may be.  Remember, everyone needs checks and balances from a support system.  

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Mars vs Venus : WHY DO YOU…?

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A mother wakes up, gets the kids ready for school, and gets herself ready for the day. Your spouse on the other hand wakes up and just thinks about themselves, no hand in getting ready. This is just an example that I have seen, I know not all men are like this. But I do question, why is it such an amazement that men who actually help with their kids get a trophy?

Wake up, men helped create the child even though the women are the easy bake ovens that carried them. And no I do not want to hear about how women are more nurturing than men and it’s in our DNA. I am a living breathing person just like a man and no I didn’t take a class on being a nurturing. It was taught to me either by example or what I wanted as a child growing up. Therefore, men should have that same concept of what it takes to be a parent. Now I do know that there are a lot of dad’s out there that are putting in unbelievable hours at being a parent and example. This is not bashing men but simply just an inquiry.

Please inform me at what point in life was it mandatory for women to just be the only nurturer? Was in biblical days, turn of the century, or was it just something that was molded over time? I would really love to know which is probably why I will be spending some time researching that aspect. But regardless, men are capable of being nurturing and compassionate. How do I know this, how did your spouse get you in the first place? Were they romantic in any kind of way? Did they do little things to show that they cared? Or did he just come in and sweep you off your feet?

If you answered yes to any of those or thought about any memory that put a smile on your face, then my dear that is proof that men are very capable. But because this notion has never been brought up in a argument or disagreement it has never been pointed out before. Men pay attention and take the time to invest in things that are their own interest. And a lot of times, women are their interest. So a man will say or do what he needs to get to the goal line or end zone. So with that being said they too can also put in the time and effort to assist more with the creations they helped to produce. Besides, it’s their sperm that starts this whole process anyway. I can have embryos in full cycle all I want but without that juice it’s going to do absolutely nothing.

Now to my ladies out there, stop accepting the least or society’s’ norm of a man’s role when it comes to the children. And while I am at it, housework as well. Please remember that it only applies to men who think that those roles are solely for the women. These are new times and people love being involved and making trends. So there are plenty of role models such as celebrities who are completely involved in their kids lives. I would advise to women, give ultimatum, drop hints, and/or act like you admire celebrities that your man respect who are actively in just about everything with their kids. Basically trick them, like you do to get other things out of him. It’s that simple and I guarantee the only people who will benefit more than anyone else, guess, no not the mother but the children.

SimplyBetty101

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Exhaustion: Mental, Physical, and Emotional Toll

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Exhaustion can set in when you least expect it and be an inconvenience. If you have been running on excitement and adrenaline for the past couple of hours, days, weeks, or whatever your time span is. Once that excitement wears off and your mood starts to change so does your energy. And that’s when exhaustion sets in.

It’s not easy to predict or prepare for when your busy and only thinking of the happy ending. But what we don’t take into account is the actual time it takes to get to that happy ending. For example, how many times have you planned something to the second of how its suppose to go rather it’s a party or you’re getting ready for one and things don’t go as plan. Or you end up being late because something got thrown off. Whatever the reason time was not on your side. Same for exhaustion.

You can be running and running on whatever energy that is getting the job done and then… BOOM. Time shows up and you’re out of it. Or if you did get it all done enjoying it will either never come or come later after you have recouped from the exhaustion. I know people say pace yourself and don’t rush. But when you live in a time sensitive world not much can be paced.

Now of course, most of us would just take something before that feeling of sit down kicks in. Like an energy drink, coffee, or for you illegal or maybe legal users something like a recreational drug can help. I know you have seen the caffeine pills sold at the gas stations by the register. But if we are always hyped up on adrenaline then there is something that can make us sit down. If you haven’t figured it out yet, here’s a clue the name is in the title. Yeap, good old friend exhaustion again. See even if you’re hyped up on caffeine to help keep you going, unfortunately we are not Energizer bunnies. Ladies and gents your body will crash. Some in an okay stable way at home or close and the others in an ambulance. See your mind might be ready but there is only so much the body can take. And believe me when it breaks it breaks people to a full fledge halt.

So be mindful of your limits because exhaustion can come in any form. Rather its physical, mental, or even spiritual it will take you out and force you to rest. Even if you’re not ready or don’t want to. Just make sure you’re paying attention to your needs and not just your wants. Thanks… SimplyBetty101