Tag: hope

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90/10 Rule of Children

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Now by no means am I a psychologist nor a child guru but I do have a lot of experience with children. And I believe that children have a sense of how to drive their parents crazy by the time they form a brain in the womb. My baby knew every time I laid down to go to sleep and would start kicking and tossing just to drive me crazy. And it doesn’t stop there, the older they get the more nerves they hit. I have a toddler and at times I feel I have mission prone child that’s out to get me.

I don’t know what it is about my child and how I think but that dude has a vendetta out on things going smoothly in our lives. It’s like he can read my mind and be like okay I got you mom, I’m going to do the opposite. Think about it, every time you plan your evening out hoping to have a quiet relaxing evening when they lay down for a nap. BAAM, sugar rush and your child has never heard of such non-sense. A nap when did they invent that. Not today mommy not today. Or when you become overly prepare for the last 10 trips because you just know something is going to go wrong and you have to lug around all this extra baggage then nothing happens. But the second you say oh they have been doing so well and I’m only going to be gone for less than a hour. Then what do you know all hell breaks loose. And it’s usually within 10 minutes of leaving the house.

Let’s not get started about the potty training. Let me say just for the record, you mothers out there stating that it is so easy to potty train your little one must have missed all of the blowouts, wet floors, wardrobe malfunctions, and other unspoken chaos. Yes, it is funny now that it is over but when dealing with it in the moment it is literally the scariest confusing thing. Oh my the of a blow out at any given moment. Literally have you questioning what in the world did they eat and how much of it. Don’t let a lot of these YouTube videos fool you. Every child is different. But there is a glimmer of hope.

That wonderful 10% when they are angels and perfect in every way. From their cute little giggles, to the way the pronounce new words, to their best behaving selves (when their asleep). It’s nothing like looking into those big beautiful eyes knowing that you created a miracle and precious child. And the thought of going gansta behind someone if they try your child. The mere thought of any harm coming to them sends chills down your spine and you have to shake back into the moment. And to tell you the truth that 10% literally outweighs that 90% of pure torture all day everyday. And I love it just like every other parent who looks at their child with promise and encouraging eyes.

Yes, having children is trying and 90% of the time you are going to want to pull your hair out and scream. But that 10% is a magical thing to experience. Not only are you seeing it with your eyes but you are also feeling it in your soul. Connections with people are beautiful and the connection of parents to children is even more exciting. If you every wonder when something is happening and you just know it’s going on in that moment or that it has crossed your child’s mind and you stop it . That is pure connection people and it is a powerful thing.

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Black Parent’s Fear: Raising a Child in America Part 2

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It’s a beautiful day today, maybe we should have a cookout in the park.  My 6’3″ husband with his sexy dark chocolate skin and shoulder length dreads put our more handsome dark almond son in his seat.  I pack the food and everything we would need into our car nevermind the make and model, it shouldn’t be important.  Or should it?  Because I’m also slightly tall standing at 5’7″ with almond long legs.  I know that beautiful bundle of joy that I carried for 40 weeks is a target.  I can’t help but fear for him every time he is out of my sight.  Just like I know my husband’s mother probably shouldn’t worry about both of her tall sons but in the back of her mind she does.  It’s strange to me know knowing the biggest fear I had in life was having a son.  And even though I can’t live without him the fears and anxiety I have about his future is very real.

Everyday I turn on my phone and there it is on my social media timelines about someone being attacked or killed for the color of their skin.  All because of the assumption that the opposite race had of them.  What has become of America?  Has it always been this violent and we as people didn’t have much light shed on it because of social media?  Is it a curse and a blessing to have so much information at our fingertips?  But what if we didn’t have the resources?  Would the danger still be this real or we just more oblivious to it?  I can’t help but wonder is there a better place in the world to raise a brown skin family?

No I don’t want my son living in a world where so much hatred exist for other human beings as if no one’s life matters but our own.  He’s a toddler now and everyday I question my thoughts on how to explain race issues and when.  When would it be a good time to sit my handsome son down and explain to him what is going on in this world and to be mindful of his surroundings at all times?  Questions such as, should I wait till he experiences this issue or will that be too late for his precious life.  The mere thought of living life without my child or worst having to bury him before my time is up is horrifying.  No parent should have to worry about these things at any point in their lives.  Only the thoughts of proms, graduations, weddings, and every other exciting milestone should be in a parents thought.  The fact that I have anxiety attacks that send me to my knees in pray whenever my husband leaves the house is no good for my health nor thoughts.  But this is America.

I know if I constantly think in this way then I have allowed those who try to insert fear and supremacy into people’s lives win.  But if I don’t think about the possibilities then I am just as a fool who thinks that nothing bad could happen to them.  I do believe in law of attraction, therefore, I do think about old age and prosperity anytime those evil thoughts creep into my mind.  I also think about alternatives to those horrible events to the point that I pray instantly and think of a better outcome.   So all hope is not lost and I know that my son will have a better future in America but for those that have and will go through tragedy.  There is always a light at the end of the tunnel you just have to keep moving.

 

Thanks…SimplyBetty101