Tag: life could be

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Black Parent’s Fear: Raising a Child in America Part 2

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It’s a beautiful day today, maybe we should have a cookout in the park.  My 6’3″ husband with his sexy dark chocolate skin and shoulder length dreads put our more handsome dark almond son in his seat.  I pack the food and everything we would need into our car nevermind the make and model, it shouldn’t be important.  Or should it?  Because I’m also slightly tall standing at 5’7″ with almond long legs.  I know that beautiful bundle of joy that I carried for 40 weeks is a target.  I can’t help but fear for him every time he is out of my sight.  Just like I know my husband’s mother probably shouldn’t worry about both of her tall sons but in the back of her mind she does.  It’s strange to me know knowing the biggest fear I had in life was having a son.  And even though I can’t live without him the fears and anxiety I have about his future is very real.

Everyday I turn on my phone and there it is on my social media timelines about someone being attacked or killed for the color of their skin.  All because of the assumption that the opposite race had of them.  What has become of America?  Has it always been this violent and we as people didn’t have much light shed on it because of social media?  Is it a curse and a blessing to have so much information at our fingertips?  But what if we didn’t have the resources?  Would the danger still be this real or we just more oblivious to it?  I can’t help but wonder is there a better place in the world to raise a brown skin family?

No I don’t want my son living in a world where so much hatred exist for other human beings as if no one’s life matters but our own.  He’s a toddler now and everyday I question my thoughts on how to explain race issues and when.  When would it be a good time to sit my handsome son down and explain to him what is going on in this world and to be mindful of his surroundings at all times?  Questions such as, should I wait till he experiences this issue or will that be too late for his precious life.  The mere thought of living life without my child or worst having to bury him before my time is up is horrifying.  No parent should have to worry about these things at any point in their lives.  Only the thoughts of proms, graduations, weddings, and every other exciting milestone should be in a parents thought.  The fact that I have anxiety attacks that send me to my knees in pray whenever my husband leaves the house is no good for my health nor thoughts.  But this is America.

I know if I constantly think in this way then I have allowed those who try to insert fear and supremacy into people’s lives win.  But if I don’t think about the possibilities then I am just as a fool who thinks that nothing bad could happen to them.  I do believe in law of attraction, therefore, I do think about old age and prosperity anytime those evil thoughts creep into my mind.  I also think about alternatives to those horrible events to the point that I pray instantly and think of a better outcome.   So all hope is not lost and I know that my son will have a better future in America but for those that have and will go through tragedy.  There is always a light at the end of the tunnel you just have to keep moving.

 

Thanks…SimplyBetty101

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Advice of Others VS Yourself

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Walking into the unknown will have 1 out of 2 outcomes. Either its successful and you make a great discover for your life. Or you fall flat on your face and forced to start over. As I’m writing this I know that this is advice that I would give someone if they were me. See I have ideas and things that I think that would be great for others to enjoy. But my fear of falling on my face keeps me from jumping.

Oh that good old fashion fear, I have written plenty of posts about you. As well as some motivating ones that tell you to just jump and forget about fear. But we are all humans, so I would say to myself. Think it through, breathe, and go at your pace. It’s funny how we as people are always ready to give advice on the smallest things. Rather it’s what food to feed your pet, what car is of better quality than others, oh my favorite, how one should raise their children. But we forget that we don’t take to well to advice ourselves, because let’s be honest it can be overwhelming. Not being able to think for yourself.

We are in a culture where everything is being told to you on how you should act, what to wear, where to go, and etc. Everything is based on a trend, even giving advice. Geesh, no wonder people are afraid to take a leap on faith and are fearful for everything. It’s like a bad omen if you decide to go against the norm. But WATCH OUT!!!! Because if it works out in your favor there is 2 outcomes. One you will be a trendsetter and now you have leaching. Yes, you heard me, with success comes a price. How many sleepless nights, how many opportunities passed up on, and time you missed with loved ones. But on the other hand if you fail, those same issues I just named are also sacrifices. Along with your pride, your now a laughing-stock to some, and your courage can be broken as well.

I know people read blogs, and posts looking for answers. But really you have to give yourself that ultimate answer. Ask yourself this, will you feel better or worse not trying no matter the outcome? Or better or worse trying no matter the outcome? Nobody can tell you what’s best for you better than you. Remember, no one will have to answer to your life choices but yourself. I hope that helped, because now I just gave myself another boost.

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

 

 

 

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What I Wish I Knew…About College!!!!

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Ok so I know the semester has already started but there are just somethings I need to say. First, no one prepared me for the reality of college and what all it intelled. I was just thinking it was another form of high school just bigger. Boy was I mistaken.

I wish I was more mentally prepared for what was to come within the first semester alone. Because high school was so relaxed and I had my parents their to help with the slack. It was overwhelming when I was just thrown into the adult world. I didn’t have the skills on how to meditate and get use my critical thinking skills on such short notice. But I quickly learned. Networking was another mental hurdle I had to overcome. Getting to know my professors, department head, chancellors, counselors, and upper classmen, was vital for my survival in college.

Another concept trait I wish I had was responsibility. Being in high school and younger my parents were always there. The moment I went to college I found out very quickly that all responsibilities were now on me. Everything from grades, student loans, financial aid, and a slue of other things. I had to learn that no one was going to pick up where I was slacking nor check me when I needed it.

Speaking of financial aid and student loans. I didn’t understand the full capacity of loans and what they really meant. I just thought it was money given to cover tuition and that was it. I was definitely not expecting to pay so much back. If I understood that, I would’ve taken out so much or just looked to alternatives as far as school and career choices.

Next, big thing was my major which at first was business management. Then I learned and was forced that this major is not my cup of tea. Luckily, I found out within 2 years before I graduated with pathetic grades and just slipped through the cracks. So I ended up changing my major to history something that I was way more interested in and enjoyed. Choosing a major was a huge critical decision I had to make on my own. Instead of choosing a major that my parents had partaken I chose something that I loved.

Finally, I wished that I had explored more in all those hobbies and interests. Just to say that I attempted and that was checked off my bucket list. Rather it was fashion, hair, careers, preference in sex, everyone around me was exploring different aspects of life except for me because I wanted to stay with the norm. Or what I thought and possibly my friends and family thought was the norm. I just should’ve shook off those nerves and jumped.

But all things turn out the way they are suppose to in life and I truly have I regrets about college. Even the chances that I didn’t take, who knows I probably would’ve been one of those out of control people that did something extremely stupid. Thus suffering from the consequences of those decisions for the rest of my life.

SimplyBetty101

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Have You Figured Yourself Out, Yet? If Not… Do Your Homework

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Sometimes figuring out what it is that you want to do in life is hard. Or you may just be struggling with figuring out your identity in this world. There are plenty of reasons on why you may feel lost. But there is hope, you have to do your homework on yourself.

What I mean is that, not everyone will have an idea of what their life is at an early age. Some may just take a while or circumstances to trigger what it is you’re supposed to be doing. And that is fine. The world is not ending (well maybe to some). But the point is, it is never too late to start a wonderful life. You hear the saying “You’re never too old,” often no matter if you agree with the situation or not. Or even that wonderful phrase you take for granted, “you’re still young, you got time.” Well, they’re not wrong. As long as you are breathing and functioning to the level to accomplish those newly ideas, then your good.

But if you still haven’t figured out what it is your suppose to do, research. You have to sit down and truly think about what it is that makes you tick. What makes you get out of bed every morning. Or what motivates you to be excited about life. For example, from my experience in life, things that have come naturally and are wonderful for me to do, use to come easy when I was younger. Now that I have made them into a career I have found a lot of challenges. Which leads me to believe that I am on the right path. I believe that because if I was just doing this as a hobby or just in my spare time, there wouldn’t be so many obstacles.

Evil doings in the world will put obstacles in your way to make you deter from what you truly should be doing in life. But if you pressure through the reward will be well worth it. Just believing in yourself you be great motivation you need to preserve through those hardships. Anything that is easily given all the time may not be correct blessing and you should caution the outcomes.

SimplyBetty101

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Do You Have The Motivation To Get It Done?

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A lot of times people go through life wondering and imaging if only they took a chance. And do they still have time to do so? Why is it that we can relate to others that we see in social media that took the leap of faith and accomplished something that was just so simple? And yet you are sitting there discontent about your life. Most of that is just the lack of motivation.

Rather you didn’t get enough motivation growing up to just be yourself and be happy. Or you just lack the courage to take the leap, it still just leaves the lack of motivational courage. People are so conditioned to follow the trend and stay in line instead of just creating their own lane that it leaves most of us in fear. Which then later leads to resentment and regret. The thought of fear is such a captivating feeling and just consumes everyone and everything in its path.

Think about it, people have anxiety over the smallest things or have panic attacks over simple circumstances. Well small and simple to myself and/or others but it is a real thing. So let’s think about it in a different perspective, what if no one had fear and took leaps? Now you have more leaders than followers and more self assurance in people. Now for those who are just in the money making business only, you are looking at this concept as a horrible idea. The fact that everyone will now be more sure and completely independent of themselves is bad for business. And now trendsetters are no longer a thing. But let’s look at the bigger picture, the amount of self love and pro life attitude that people would have for themselves would definitely fix a lot of economic issues. But that is another day and a lot of topic to cover.

Giving people the satisfaction of being capable to set trends and just be comfortable in their own lane would definitely be in a perfect world. Because the truth is that this is a for profit America that runs on the lack of people not having motivation and courage to take a leaf of faith. But hopefully you will not listen to the hype and think for yourself.

Please don’t be one of those old timers encouraging the younger generation to have no regrets and to at least try. Even if one were to fail you wouldn’t have that sense of “I never tried, so what could’ve been, I don’t know,” people. See you have to draw your motivation from within and say to that person you see in the mirror everyday that you are not a failure. Try it, you may then be that person that is envied on social media and living that life that you always wished for. You just have to put in the work and remove fear.

Anger is a great motivation. If you are always sad and depressed looking for an escape, that is a great motivation. or if you’re just proving to those who thought you would never amount to anything. If you just want the status, use it. Wherever you pull your motivation from make sure you use it to your full capabilities to get the job done. No regrets.

SimplyBetty101

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A Tribute to My Family and Support System: The Small Law of Attraction, You Should Try It…

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I must say I have been blessed with a wonderful family and/or support system.  Which is crucial in today’s or any society  for a person to survive and exceed in life.  

Being the oldest and the only girl on my mother side, which is the side that I grew up with mostly.  Until my mother married my dad, yes, I refer to my step father as my dad.  That title to me is reserved to a person who actual acts the role on a daily basis.  Now that that confusion is out of the way.  Being the only girl for some time I didn’t grow up with older female cousins that were empowering and motivating.  I didn’t get that until my mom married my dad and I met my cousins Tyger, Kiwi, and Maj (yes, I’m using nicknames).  These ladies definitely helped me shape my mind and understand what purposes are in life.  This support system was crucial because by the time these wonderful ladies came into my life I was freshly in my teens and already in womanhood.  

So meeting women around my age that were already into their own stride of life, was thrilling and eye opening.  Up unto this point I never had a single thought to myself of what I wanted to do in life and how to act.  That support system of my own peers gave me great advice and a different perspective on life then what I grew up with.  I actually had the pleasantry of a loving and devoted family.  Now, yes, I do understand that not everyone is ever so lucky to have loving family members and/or even caring members either.  And I also understand that people find family outside of their actually family.  Now whether they are a good influence or bad I understand that people stick to either situations of people or situations of surroundings.  And you can either learn from situations and surroundings or fall into them.  

The matter of the fact is that everyone needs that emotional, spiritual, and mind-blowing human connection that helps mold us into people.  Rather or not you agree with your surroundings or just blindly following your surrounding trend.  There are things that cannot be accomplished in life without that support system and family bond.  People learn how to love, connect, and teach others by learning these qualities from mentors and/or elders.  We also get our body chemistries a fighting chance to show others what we have to offer and build ourselves to greatness.  There is something that one gets from the competition of others surrounding them all fighting for the same position but for different motivations.  It’s like we as a people have to prove that we are people to each other.  But it all starts from the moment we have actual human interactions with someone.  And that support system, that family, and connection we have is vital to our survival.  

We see all the time where people withdraw from others and their surroundings to the point where it can kill them or maybe leave them in peace.  But those that do chose to be in peace are usually socially awkward and have anxiety of some sort.  But this is not about the distance and the damned.  This is about the bonding and the belief that family is a part of motivation.  Family is the drug and cure of life, the excitement of wanting to share and inspire your family and/or surroundings with positive vibes.  Instead of being spiteful and competitive with my family peers we actually look to our meetings and link ups as a way to motivate and give ideas.  Giving inspiration and advice to better each other is so refreshing and keeps us on our toes.  This is a way to keep us focus on our goals.  It’s amazing of how proud we are for each other in every role you can think of in life.  And I know that there are a lot of people who would kill just to have a taste of what I have in my family.  

So I say all this to give just a light at the end of the tunnel.  Some one may just need that extra push in finding that great support system.  Here is a tip, that great support system that you are longing for is coming if you just stop looking and just start living.  Believe me, that great support system that you are longing for will just appear.  Strang I know but the energy you give is the energy that you receive.  The law of attraction is a powerful thing and such a real thing.  If you give off positive and supportive energy, then you will receive positive and supportive energy.  So be mindful and grateful of the life you are giving and please don’t let anyone take your inner you.  Just show the world who you are and let everyone around you know that you can give support and you too need the support.  

SimplyBetty101

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Healthy Lifestyle Goals

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So since 2015, before I was pregnant, I was on this new health kick where if I workout hard then I could eat whatever I wanted.  And for a while that worked until I got pregnant.  Now before I was pregnant I weighed a solid 150 lbs. and dropped down to 140 lbs.  But oh when I went in to delivery I was an even 200 lbs.  Now that is a lot for myself since my biggest size was a 10 in juniors.  Now some of you may be thinking that 200 lbs is not so bad but if you have seen any pictures of me then you know that 200 lbs was a far cry from the 110 lbs my freshman year of college.

Since I was active and working out before I was pregnant and a little while pregnant, I thought, first baby my body would just snap back into place like I had seen some of my friends.  WRONG!!!!!! My body and genetics is completely different from my friends.  See once I had my baby I only dropped 20 lbs.  Yeap, just a measly 20 lbs.  So I thought well maybe I just have to give it some time.  Nope that didn’t work either over 6 months had past and not a single pound was dropped.  So I came up with a weekly goal and a plan.  Though I have been working on this lifestyle and tweaking things here and there I am determined to get down to 150 lbs before my birthday in November.  So wish me luck….

  1. Workout at least 5 times a week
  2. Healthier meals (no wings) (ok at least not every week)
  3. Motivation and consistency is key
  4. Don’t lose faith, progress is slow and the reward is awesome
  5. Make it a friends and family thing (this will push you even more and make you competitive)
  6. Keep progress reports and change things if results are not showing in 2 weeks time
  7. And you are not alone…..
  8. Love yourself in whatever stage
  9. No shortcuts (plastic surgery) – maybe a breast lift
  10. And I ran out of things to say LOL….enjoy

Thanks for reading…. SimplyBetty101

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Parent’s Fear: Raising a Child In America Part 1

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Everyday fears start to form the moment of known conception for any parent, especially mothers’.  Women are known for having their minds wonder to dark and scary places of the world. For some people dangers of the world are always outside and in public places until they realize it can also be at home.  No one wants to think that any harm can come to their children when they are there monitoring them and watching for noticeable dangers.  But what about those that are unseen?

For instance, it’s a good day to go to the amusement park in your area.  It’s a good way to relax and get some of that childhood thrill in with your kids.  So you’re there having fun, playing games, riding on rides, and all of suddenly blink.  The day is over and it’s time to head home.  No threats, no worries, just pure fun with family.  But what if we rewind the day and go back to when you were reaching to get a snack for your 8-year-old and turned around and all of suddenly blink.  Their gone, and you look slowly back and forth for a half of second, nothing.  Now panic starts building up as you call their name and no answer.  Even more panic and now frantic because there is no answer just people walking by looking past you and unnoticed to your concern.  You frantically scan each passing face near and far, no , no, no.  With each no to your child’s face you go into a full-fledged panic attack and now it’s a horror show.

You scream, only now has others started paying attention and coming to your aid.  The local security and police are there to help you, as well as concerned citizens.  As you describe what your child is wearing, your brain does something miraculous.  It starts to remember things that you were unaware of or thought it was of no significance.  Who was around and what they too were wearing, if there were any strangers that rubbed you the wrong way, the last time you actually had contact with your child and what they were doing.  Your heart is beating so fast and pumping so much blood to your brain and making your adrenaline rush to the point now you’re in full fledge predator and protective mode.  But the nightmare has already begun to sink in.  Instead of a pleasant day at the amusement park it has now turned into an amusement nightmare.  The impure thoughts of what is happening to your child, and how they feel, can send anyone into a complete breakdown and shock.

The impure thoughts of what is happening to your child, and how they feel, can send anyone into a complete breakdown and shock.  You’ve seen the news on tv and have heard the horror stories of child victims on social media and TV.  Every possible heinous act that you can think about comes into mind.  These thoughts make the tears just uncontrollable and the blame game sets in.  You start thinking about ways or things that you would’ve done differently that would have prevented this from happening to you.  You even blame yourself for judging other parents that have been through similar situations and mock them on how they didn’t watch their children closely enough.  But you have to remember, fear and what ifs will not bring your child home.  According to Child Watch of North America, An estimated 800,000 children are reported missing each year – more than 2,000 children every day.  An estimated 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys will be sexually victimized before age 18. Yet, only 1 in 3 will tell anyone.

It is dangerous and scary to raise a child in America or even the world today.  But one must keep going forward.  No one is recommending that your child stays locked up until your death.  Everyone knows that children will have to learn to be independent and capable of taking care of themselves.  Are their ways to help prevent such horrible fates for yourself and your children?  Of course, there are plenty of technology out there that can help you monitor your children when they are not around.  Not to mention the damsel kits that can be used when your child is too far from you, https://damselindefense.net/ .  At the rate of America, you would think to just lock your children in the house and never let them out because you never know who will harm your child.  Will it be the trusted daycare associate, the family man neighbor, the coach, the priest at your church, the child you constantly gets bullied at school, or the genocide maniac gun owner at a concert.

The truth is you never know and you must keep watch and teach children how to cope and deal with the dangers of the world.  No one wants to be scared to leave their house everyday.  People should be able to go out and enjoy life while being cautious and aware of their surroundings.  Being prepared, is better than thinking it can never happen to me, because as the saying goes, “you never say never.”  Remember the moment your children can understand certain things it is better to start talking to them about the dangers of the world.  Please do not allow the world to raise and teach your children everything.  Yes, the world is beautiful and amazing but there are hidden dangers everywhere.

 

For more information visit http://childwatch.org/home.html

Child Watch, in cooperation with The Federal Bureau of Investigation Tampa Bay Citizens Academy Alumni Association promotes the FBI’s Child ID App.

The (FBITBCAAA) is a community-based and supported organization that promotes a safer community through outreach and educational events, with emphasis on the mission and leadership role the FBI takes in protecting our communities and nation. The FBITBCAAA is a non-profit organization and is separate and distinct from the FBI.


https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/fbi-child-id/id446158585?mt=8

Copy and paste the above website link to download the FBI’s Child ID App on your smartphone.

 

Thanks for reading….SimplyBetty101

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Thank You Notes/Cards: Are They Necessary?

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If you are reading this blog you’re wondering, why should you send out thank you cards for an event that you put together and paid for?  Well that question popped in my head as well after my wedding and after people were wondering why they haven’t received any 2 months after my big day.  And for some the answer is simple, yes, because it’s tradition.  But is there a deeper meaning to it than just tradition?  I mean who started this notion and why do I have to spend more money and time.  And the simple answer really is, think about those who actually took the time out of their busy schedules to help you celebrate your union, or whatever event it is that you are planning.

Think about it, all those who traveled near and far probably had better things to do then to go to a store, buy you a gift, get dressed, and come see your joyous occasion.  When I think back on my wedding my husband’s family stayed nowhere near where the wedding was taking place and not to mention I had relatives coming from the East and West coast via plane and car just to see a couple who had been together for 10 years already and created life.  It was a celebration for them as well as us.  Granted the last thing I wanted to do was sit down and hand write thank you cards with my horrible 7th grade handwriting.  But it makes one feel special when you thank them for anything that they do.  You never know how that person is feeling that day.  Beside my thank you notes I made sure to make up for the lack of penmanship and not remembering what everyone and who bought us something.  So therefore I included pictures from the big day of us, which I know some family members will enjoy.  Especially since I am horrible about keeping in contact with people throughout the year.  Yes, I know I am a horrible person.  I will get my life together and I’m working on it.

But just to give you a few pointers, once you open a gift make sure you write down who bought what.  This way each thank you note will be personalized.  Also if you know you are horrible with timing you can always have pre-made thank you notes, when someone gives a gift at the wedding they get a thank you note.  My cousin told me about that trick after my wedding was done.  Another way to remember thank you notes, is to have only electronic gifts.  Such as, Bed Bath and Beyond, Amazon, or whatever your favorite place to shop.  That way each registry tells you who bought it and it is delivered straight to your address.  This option also helps with addresses since everyone may not sign the guest book or have legible penmanship.  Of course, these methods do not apply to elders who are not tech savvy, so old-school it is.  Also there are ways you can send electronic thank you notes via email.  The point is, it is a tradition and thoughtful gesture.  Well I hope this helped you, remember your not sending thank you notes just to spend more money but to show gratitude to family, friends, and haters that helped you celebrate your occasion.

 

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

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Being a Boss Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

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Being a stay at home mom, blogger, and you-tuber, can be exhausting and have its challenges.  Sometimes you just don’t feel like, staying in bed that day sounds and feels like a grand idea.  But what about your business, will it suffer because of this break?  Will you miss an important opportunity to grow? Why do you want to take a break in the first place?  And most important question is, if you push yourself through it will your body force you to break at a crucial time?  These are very important questions one must ask themselves especially when you’re not feeling as bossy that day.  Sure you can push through and take a break when it’s all said and done.  But how long will it take you to get to that point?  Is pushing through worth it?

As a person who just started, I can say that there are times where I’m just full steam ahead for my business.  I even try to shut the world out, but then I remember that I am also someone’s mother, a newlywed wife, and Lord knows that if I don’t clean my house the way I want it, it will just be a distraction from work.  For me working at home is really challenging.  I have my son running around, we just moved across 2 states into a new town and house, and not to mention that my husband also works from home.  So there are constant distractions.

Now this may just be me and I may just have a problem but for some reason I cannot get any work done when I know that there is laundry, dishes, and errands that need to be done.  I literally have to prep the house the day before in order to get work done.  As well as advise my husband who gets up way before me that I will be working late so therefore do not disturb.  And my son, well I just have to work that in all day until he goes to daycare in August.  My point is I have to schedule how my day is going beforehand so that I don’t get burned out.  Yes life throws curve-balls but for the most part I control my day.  So if I have been running around weeks on end and can feel my body shutting down, I schedule me time.  This is the most important thing to schedule.

Scheduling me time is a blessing.  It not only recharges you but it also gets you ready to be in full boss-mode at all times.  Think about, if you don’t schedule a girls night, date-night, day at the salon, go to the nail shop, or do whatever it is you enjoy doing that causes the least amount of stress.  Eventually your body will shut down for you.  And believe me no one wants that or to be around a depressing Patti.  Think about it, being a boss is really being able to juggle business life and personal life.  You have to be creative at all times and this will show your ingenuity.  This level of bossy-ness is fun for me because while my husband is exhausted from just one job I get to rub in his face that I am a Jack of all trades.  And the list of things that I have finished for the day is the icing on the cake.  Now, I’m not saying be a pain to your spouse because we know that there are some who do just as much.  But let’s be real, women do so much.  Even when we’re quiet and thinking.  LOL

All I’m saying is that in order to be a boss you have to delegate what is important and schedule everything else around that.  Even if your schedule changes or life changes.  Just breathe, think, and execute.  Believe me it will go a long way and you will be in boss-mode even longer and appreciate it more.

 

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101