Tag: lifestyle

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Random Thought…JUMP and Take the RISK

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Why are you so scared to jump? Starting something new isn’t going to be easy and you may not have the support that you are used to. But ask yourself these questions

1. What can you sacrifice?
2. Can you live with that decision?
3. What scares you about this decision?
4. Is it worth your happiness for the rest of your life/ is the decision based on the betterment for you?

Yes, taking a leap of faith on yourself to pursue something that has always been a dream is scary and maybe dangerous. But do you want to be one of those people who always wondered what life would’ve been like? Or do you want to say I tried and conquered. Or maybe you didn’t conquer but it took you on a different route to satisfaction. No one can decide your life but yourself. And yes you may lose those you hold and cherish, but if they cannot support or understand, did they really cherish you? Don’t be surprise if those you look up such as family, best friend, or even ideals walk away or discourage you. Everything will come full circle and life will proceed with or without them. Look even if you’re doing things to help others, wouldn’t you be in a better position to help those if you were happy?

Think about it….SimplyBetty101

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Transitioning….?

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What if your transitioning into a new you whether it’s for work, new home, parenthood, or just phasing out if the party life. What is now the new norm for you? What else fun is there to do that is more your speed?

I’m currently going through that transitioning as I type this up. Now that I am married, a parent, and focused more on my career of being my own boss. Things that use to interest me just don’t do it for me anymore. The fact that I am more excited to buy decor and furniture for our new place than for me to go out and party, is way more exciting. Like a kid in a candy store excited. Going to family events and being in a calm environment that’s more controlled and stable is wonderful. Don’t get me wrong I love a good turnup just like the next person but only on my own terms with like minded people as well. When you surround yourself with people that are also transitioning, you find that very similar bond and growth that you may just need. A support group. This also means new friends.

But if you can transition with those you have been friends with it can be an awesome feeling and experience. But if you can’t, don’t give up so easily. So just because you are now in a different space than those you cherish doesn’t mean you have to abandon them. Try coaching or encouraging them to get on your level or higher. You may be surprised at what you find. Sometimes people just need others to lead so that they can fall suit. Not all leaders start off as leaders and not all followers will stay followers.

Thanks SimplyBetty101

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Over-staying Your Welcome

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So today I was wondering how long have I been here at my cousins house? Even though I’m only staying here to find a place for my own family, I was hoping that it would be a quick 2 to 3 day stay. But thinking on it I have been here a full 7 day week. Though I know she doesn’t mind I feel like I’m being a leech. Which is why I hope she never sees this post…lol the amount of killer eye she will give me is undeniable.

Look I appreciate the help and guidance but if I was in her position there is a limit for me. Now by no means am I one if those family members who doesn’t help nor clean up behind themselves. I have been fussed at for cleaning the kitchen and putting a trash bag in the trash can. Not that is was a real “don’t touch nothing,” her house is ran under certain rules. Also not to mention she is a bit OCD, she likes things done a certain way. And this is where my understanding comes in.

If it were me I do appreciate the help and love the company but at some point I would want to get back to my regular scheduled program of how I like my house ran. Children are still in school here which means they have rules on a daily basis and one cannot come in and throw off that schedule. One must be in stealth mode at all times and go with the flow. All while trying not to upset the balance of everyday life. And still be comfortable to do what I need for my family as well. I like the idea of being in the house with a kitchen that has love and laughter. But I also know that it is not my house and this is what I’m looking for. I love the uncoditional love and support my family provides but there comes a time when a girl just wants some alone time. Especially before hubby gets here.

So with that being said, people if you are staying with a friend or relative please understand body language and don’t over stay your welcome. Especially if your able to stay somewhere else. Now if you are in desperate need, then your circumstances are different. But please be less of a burden as possible. And if you just have that family that loves company then this does not apply to you as well. As always thanks for reading … SimplyBetty101

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Family Time: Values and Morals

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As I sit here thinking of things to talk about there is only one thing that comes to mind… my family. Most importantly my son and the values, morals, and life lessons of what will shape him to become a man one day. Though I have done some silly things in my twenties (not to give away my age… I’m still there barely) that I am currently trying to fix for the betterment of our lives. There are some things that were very beneficial to me and molding me to the person I am today.

Being a parent is a wonderful thing and a grand experience, but it can also be a terrifying one as well. Being responsible for a person that will have an impact on humanity in any kind of way is a scary thought. There are all kinds of what ifs and did I do it correctly that just come at you like a boulder. Sure, you think about getting your child into the best schools, raising them in the safest neighborhood that you can afford, giving them the luxuries that you never had growing up, and most importantly making sure you instill those main core values that a person would need to function in this world. In my previous blog Sour-Patch Kids: What Discipline Action Should Be Taken If Any? I touched about giving a child discipline through spanking and asked if it was a good idea? But in this blog, I want the subject to be a more fun and energetic vibe. Instead of asking questions, I will just go over some things that I do with my son and why I create that participation with him.

First, what is important to me when it comes to my son? And the answer to that question is simply… time. Spending time with my son in any kind of way is important, including the time apart. See this little person that developed and grew from conception until birth inside of me, must learn about the world in the best way I know how to teach him. Example, when we go to the zoo and see different animals that is a way for him to learn perception and exploration. Letting him know that the world is way bigger than what he sees daily and that his everyday characters that he sees on tv are inspired by real life animals. It also teaches him different vocabulary and restraint. See I have a toddler that is still developing verbal skills so exposing him to different aspects of the zoo where he can physically touch, smell, and interact with animals gets him excited to learn and see more. These trips and other fun activities are also considered bonding time together. This is also where body language is can be at its finest. Think about it, how many times have you been watching your child to then realize for some odd reason your child is about to make a mad dash somewhere, or about to fall and hurt themselves. It’s like you have a sixth sense of what is about to happen and how terrible it can be.

Being in public teaches your child control and restraint because at home lets face it they run everything or just with no boundaries and you’re not on edge as much. Same thing with playtime, all the important factors of life are taught and learned through your child’s playtime. It may seem small in your eyes right now but think about it. Your child can hit your nerves and your’re almost at your breaking point. But your child learns those subtle cues of I’m about to get in trouble let me stop. Or they smile with a grimace and instead test my parents… lol.
Let’s face it kids are in their learning stages from the moment they are born until the day they decide to completely learn on their own. So, to sum everything up I love the time I get with my child. It’s a learning experience for him that teaches him core values, morals, body language, importance of family, and a list of other things.

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Everything Wedding: No Matter the Timeframe and Budget

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Love is beautiful and undeniable when it’s right. It seems as if the entire world has lined up and everything just makes perfect sense. Now as quickly as you fell in love you want to get hitch. But let’s be realistic weddings can be expensive even if your on a budget. Well here are a few ideas you can use when money is tight but you want your dream wedding.

1. Venue…now weather your planning your wedding in a year, a week, or somewhere in between you have to figure out where you want to hold your wedding. A cheap route would be justice of the peace or or local church. An even cheaper route is your backyard or living room. But you have to select a venue within your budget because that is going to add to your total cost. Even a public beach maybe a great idea or a destination wedding to get wedding and honeymoon out of the way.

2. Dress…there are plenty of ideas you can use for a wedding dress especially if your going with a theme. Your gown doesn’t have to cost $2000 or higher. Believe me there are plenty of gowns for only $100 or less. For instance take David Bridals a very well known bridal shop. Now you would think all of their gowns are expensive or above your price range. But if you know in January that you will be getting married before or right around wedding season then your in luck. Every year David Bridal has a sale to get rid of their old inventory in preparation for wedding season so dresses are usually $99 on average. An even better idea would be online via Amazon, Wish, or a smaller boutique for your gown. Just in case you want that “say yes to the dress experience” with your family. It’s all about digging around and using your resources. Maybe you can revamp a old dress into a wedding dress.

3. Rings…once again your faced with the deliema of going cheap or starting your marriage off with a debt if your funds aren’t that banging. Well there are other options. You can start at stores such as Zales or Kay jeweler at the beginning of the year. Because just like David Bridal they have to get rid of that old inventory. Now jewelry stores are a little different because new inventory comes in during the hot months. Think about how many times did you see jewelry commercials around Valentine’s, Christmas, and wedding season. This my friend is your opportunity to catch a sale. It is possible to get all 3 bands (engagement ring, wedding band, and the man’s wedding band) for under $1000. Now weather your looking for something cute or massive make sure you do research on rings before you go. For instance, looking up the different types of rings and diamonds and what everything means. Also you may check out alternatives such as lab created diamonds, moissanite, or refurbished rings. Especially if you are worried about those blood diamonds that you hear about on tv. Getting alternative diamond can save you a fortune and still have a beautiful ring for the fraction of the price.

4. Food…this is where you can break your bank account, literally. Knowing how many people you want to share your moment with is important because you pay for the food. Now some caterers have reasonable prices such as 100 people and below maybe can run a base price of $600 to $1000. When you have over 100 people especially the 150 to 200 range now the price can change to per person. Which can be anywhere from $15 per person to $50/$60 per person depending to the menu. Do not panic their are alternatives, if you absolutely know someone that can cook very well, ask them. Even if they haven’t catered before. Or the family can pitch in, buy and cook the food. Where there is a will there is a way.

5. Cake…now this can run you anywhere from $500 to over $1000 making sure you check out all of your options is important. Local grocery stores such as Wal-Mart, Kroger, Winn Dixie, and other chain stores sale wedding cakes at reasonable prices and are usually pretty good. If your looking for a Pinterest wedding cake then looking at professional bakeries and people who bake wedding cakes for a living are your best bet. Or can can even try a cutlinery student or school to take a swing at it; this route may also be light on your budget but you also risk a disater. Now depending on the baker your cake can be expensive and over your budget. But if your not concerned with the cake that much as far as looks then your local chain store or smaller cakes is a better option. Remember the higher the body count of people the more cake you will need to have.

5. Decorations…this part of the wedding can be the cheapest part of the budget. If you are very crafty then Dollar Tree, Hobby Lobby, and Michael’s can be your best friend. Also if you know a popular place that host weddings and/or events and usually throw away decorations, recycle them. Take ideas from Pinterest and use those cheap websites like Esty, Amazon, Party City, and etc. Of course this route will require your time but you will appreciate the craft that goes into making beautiful decorations.

Congratulations, on your new adventure of love. Planning a wedding can be overwhelming. But it can also be easy and light on the pockets. So is it possible to plan an entire wedding with just $500? Yes, it is you just have to use your resources around you. Good luck.

Thanks for reading….SimplyBetty101

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Tech “NO” Relationships

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In today’s society it’s so easy to meet new people and learn everything about them at the tip of your fingertips. But how well can you really get to know a person by reading their life story online instead of connecting with them on an intimate level once you meet them? Are we so disconnected socially that relationships are only composed of causal friendships and one night stands? Think about the last relationship you had. Did you spend more time communicating and keeping up with your partner electronically? Once you were with that person did you only have a short intimacy and then were consumed with tv and electronics? If you’re answering yes to most of these questions then your next relationship will be completely different after reading this.

Here are a couple of things you can try the next time you are around friends and family just to do a trail run to see how things go. Your next gathering instead of everyone having access to their phones ask them to put their phones on silent and enjoy a wine tasting or meet and greet. Now your probably wondering why you would do a meet and greet with family and friends of people you already know. But do you know them based on the info from online or them telling you directly? Having a meal with friends and family to talk about things that are happening that week or that have already happened gives you a sense of how people really feel. This also enhances your abilities to read body language and gauge people emotions. You can express thoughts without someone taking it in a text the wrong way. Being connected mentally to a person allows you to understand people on a level that you can never get electronically.

Now your probably saying that you’re not always on your phone. But seriously you do. You know how I know you do? Because either you or someone in the group is always posting online for the world to see how much fun your having. But why does it matter to the world of how much fun you have? See we’re so consumed with what everyone is doing on a constant basis that we miss the real life connections and experience right in front of us. Think about it, how many missing persons photos do you come across on your timeline? How many people you know even as young as 5 years old don’t have cellphones? How do we miss the creepy person that has been following you for the last 3 or 4 stores? Or the kid that may just be a little overweight because they rather play video games or be on electronics than to go outside? It’s because we have decided that all the info we need is via online even a person that you have never met. The first thing people do is look up that persons social media account; rather its Instagram, Facebook, twitter (maybe not), or Snapchat. How many blind dates have you been on and when you met the person they were nothing like their profile? People can create so many lies and catfish others into believing that lie. But if we sharpened our communication skills outside of our electronics then there wouldn’t be such a disconnect.

Meeting people on a social level can be exciting and thrilling. You will be surprised on how well your communication skills have developed. That fright that you have standing up for yourself can disappear. Giving a speech that you wrote out so perfectly wouldn’t be so hard if your social skills were better. The next blind date that you go won’t be so nerve-racking if you are able to read that person’s body language. You may be able to tell if they are actually into you instead checking their social media every few seconds. Knowing if a person just wants a causal relationship or if they actually want a more deep and serious relationship is helpful.

So next date or family and friend event you have. Make a rule of no phones unless it’s an emergency or you can say that no post can be posted. Whatever the rule is to make the day or event a more tech “no” night….lol. Believe me it’s beneficial for everyone involved. You may also find out that you don’t like people who you call friends as much as you thought you did. Or it may draw you closer. Remember secrets and personal info should never be shared over any type of electronic device, that’s called evidence. Look all I’m saying is that it is nice to get to know a person for who they really are, not who they want to be via social media. You can be catfished even if you have known that person for years. People can change over time. If it’s your spouse have date night without electronics. You can do dinner, bike rides, fair/carnival, or even walks together. Ask each other about short-term and long-term goals. What is their aspiration? What is your aspiration? Just remember this instead of always trying to capture the moment, be in the moment. The world does not always have to know.

Thanks for reading…..SimplyBetty101

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Life Can Be A Fairytale: If You Dream It and Allow It

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So, your cuddled up on the couch, watching your favorite fairytale movie, and wondering wow I wish life was like that. Well why not make it an reality? The only thing standing in your way of your dream man, lifestyle, or career is you honey. See most of us think that fairytales don’t happen in real life but they do because those who chose to make it an reality did it.

Take Cinderella for instance, she didn’t have it all peaches and wonderland. No at the beginning it was fun but once tragedy struck again and again she was dealt some bad hands. But that didn’t stop her from imagining and keeping her hopes up. And looked what happened she became queen. I mean she was living in rags talking to rodents and animals all day. I mean most of us would call that batshit crazy and turn the other cheek. But homegirl had dreams and hope, that became a reality.

Let’s take another one, Tiana from Princess and the Frog for example. She was turned into a frog when she was already working hard to save up and open an restaurant. They even had a song stating you got to keep at it and have a lil faith. And she turned out to be princess as well. My point is that no matter what life throws at you at this moment it is up to you to make lemonade out of lemons. Yes there are those who may not understand what it means to work for what you want. Then there are those who understand exactly what you are hustling for because they too have been in your shoes or are there with you.

Take me for last example, I have been with the same guy for 10 years and we are just now getting engaged. We have a 2 year old with unexplainable amount of energy and we’re both working to grow our own businesses. Now it hasn’t always been roses; I mean 10 years and we’re just now tying the knot, we’ve had a couple of miscarriages, we fought like divorce couples in the beginning, and our families have been asking about children and marriage this whole time. Not to even mention, being broke then making some money, not investing or managing it properly, to being extremely broke and dependent on family. But now I can truly say that I have found and I am living my fairytale. Now were we ready years ago to get married… definitely not we had to work out some kinks before we started on a solid foundation. We went through some things but I always had hope and a dream of what I wanted my life to be. Once both if our mindsets lined up perfectly we had a masterpiece. Everything happens for a reason in its own season. Remember that because it will make everything in life clear and make sense when your struggling.

Now I’m not saying that you need a partner to accomplish your fairytale. Your dream may only consist of you. Well who said you only had to have one dream? Look life is what you make it. Being truly happy and grateful for the small things will definitely show up when those major blessings start to fall info place for you. You have one life, why not live it as a lifestyle or fairytale you may just be surprised at what you find.

Thanks for reading……Simplybetty101