Tag: mental

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Should Marriages Have An Expiration Date Similiar to Driver’s License?

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So I was questioned about a video that I did, Vlog; Should Marriages Have the Option to Expire Every 4 Years? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbec1osyDIY. And basically I was asked about the effects about how a system like that should work and the countermeasures that should be in place due to the fact that people homes would be wrecked beyond repair. Now I am all for having a conversation about a hypothetical situation just as much as I love the discussion on real issues today. But this was a hypothetical proposal and was all opinionated. But I will entertain the situation and go more into details. And I would like to ask the question, is everything in today’s failed marriages fixed.

In other words, we cannot find a solution to every single problem in every single person’s life in the world. Think about, if there were solutions to everyone’s problems then there wouldn’t be so many inventions to make everyday tasks better, there wouldn’t be so many prescriptions written for the opioid crisis, there wouldn’t be so many psychiatrist and psychologist, doctors, teachers, and the list goes on. Hell there are solutions to some problems that we didn’t even know we had. But my point is there will always be a flaw in any new governmental law that is put into place. Especially for the ideas that have never been done before. We can’t talk about what if problems of a hypothetical law that will have an affect on families when the laws and customs that we have today also have effects on families now.

The only reason why this concept of having a marriage expire like a driver’s license came up was due to the fact the the divorce rate in the United States alone is about 40 to 50 percent. That’s literally saying that half of the people you know who are married have or will get a divorce. That is a shockingly high percentage. Especially on a country that pushes for family economical growth. Now financially for those whose careers flourish or profit off of divorces, I can understand why you may oppose the idea of a marriage expiring versus to going to divorce court. But if America was to every entertain the idea of marriages expiring it may actually have a better effect on people and their families. These long/short term marriages have devastating effects financially and mentally on the main parties involved.

Think about it, if two people who think they are in love and want to spend the rest of theirs lives together get married. But then find out the horrible truth let’s say 3 years into the marriage. Instead of paying thousands of dollars to get out of the marriage they can allow it to expire the following year without adding on the stress of financial burden. I mean if we look at states that recognize common law marriage we can say it’s kind of already into place. Of course, there are some restrictions or rules to the common law marriage but can technically be voided at anytime.

Temporary marriage/expiring marriage should work the same. If we went through the marriage process as normal, meeting someone, invested interest, intent on living til death do you part, building a family, etc. But found out sooner than later that it’s not going to work out then we should be able to walk away with the least amount of damage. Now in my opinion of this hypothetical temporary/expiring marriage I believe some rules and outcomes should be in place. For example:

  1. Obtain marriage license and get married as per requirements now
  2. Have the option to allow your marriage to be temporary/expire after 4 years
  3. If temporary/expire option has been chosen and couple decide to continue in marriage then court will deem marriage as full status or complete (whatever terminology decided)
  4. If couple decides to allow marriage to expire then couple will have to appear before judge stating that they will respectfully and agree that both parties should separate. This will allow families to not go bankrupt and have families be a bit more civil (again my opinion)

Now I know your thinking what about the effects it will have of career persons that have invested interest on marriages failing and the effects that it will have long and short term on children and family members. And to those facts I say unto you, how do you think families are doing now financially, emotionally, and mentally with divorce rates being high now. And those who are banking off failing marriages believe me just like everyone else who have fallen off the financial high wagon there will be other opportunities that arise within this suggestion that will allow them to be just fine. Just like any other careers that have been altered in the past due to major economic changes in America.

What would be so different with this adjustment. I do believe some people are so lazy and scared that instead of focusing their energy on being positive and coming up with a better game plan for when things hit the fan. They rather blame others and just sit there festering about how things were. Things change all the time across all spectrums and yet many of us still find ways to come out on top. But as stated this is a hypothetical situation that may never come into forewishion. But the concept or something similar may just work if the right thought and time was put into place to allow such an idea to prosper.

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Inside Thoughts: My Personal Entry 1

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So I think something is mentally wrong with me. I have the nate desire to protect and be overbearing of my family. For some reason I have these visions or visual dreams of all types of bad things that can happen to my family. Especially, for the men, my son and husband. In this world the thoughts of what can happen can be so scary and horrific to the point that it will scare one to stay in doors at all times. But when the mind plays tricks on you even your home becomes a scary domain.

So to combat this fear I pray. I simply just pray the visions away and the bad drama that can occur. I do believe in the law of attraction, therefore, thinking that something terrible can happen will allow something to happen. And I’m just not up for that, I cannot handle the possibilities. So I pray the thoughts away and replace them with great thoughts of old age and happiness. Thoughts of wealth within and outward no matter the economic status.

So for every dark dream or vision, I replace each with the double vision of happiness and what is to come. Without giving doubt that the happiness will prevail and put the horrible visions far out of my mind. Preparing for when they come back. If even a small hint of darkness creeps up, I just pray and redirect my thoughts.

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Happiness Comes From Within Not Social Media

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The cost of trying to be famous for millennials is not worth selling all of your being. Like bro and sis it is not worth it in the end or the near future. Let’s look at the statistics, how many wealthy people can actually say they are truly happy with their life? I can tell you right now money cannot buy happiness but yes it can solve problems but mo’ money also means mo’ problems. There is more at stake when you have it all boo- ski believe me. Just think about, when you are at the bottom of the economic status you don’t have as much to loose as someone who has built an entire empire and is sitting at the top of the economic pyramid. At any moment they can fall to the bottom alongside you. The only difference between someone with wealth and someone without wealth is the amount of resources that come to you willingly.

Yes, that is the only difference… the resources. Because someone who has “it all,” will have all those who also have it all (and who don’t) trying to get to the hot topic of a person who is new on the scene. But what they don’t show you is when that person is no longer the new kid on the block and they are no longer the sought out after person. Have you ever notice that celebrities who don’t do something drastic every year will soon fade into the background and eventually you forget about them. Well, real life works the same boo. From your job, to church (yes church), sports, social life, you name it. Trying to be the best in all that you do is exhausting. Now I’m not saying striving for your best if that’s what you truly want, is a waste. Only do this if it comes naturally and if it brings you happiness. Some people literally thrive on competition and competitiveness. And that is cool boo boo for you. But some of us can only run on that fuel for so long. Some need a schedule and to carve out time in a day, week, or month. But regardless, finding your self worth is way more rewarding than trying to be glorified and glamourous for social media. See when you know your self worth and then try to be just yourself. You will attract the fame that you were not looking for along with wealth. And when that happens you are now working on your time instead of racing to please everyone else and stay in the spotlight.

Millennials we need to stop looking to social media for validation for our lives. To be honest if you’re not focusing on your self worth and internal wealth then man you’re going to lose and these devastating suicides and homicides will never stop or slow down. I mean with social media being the validation of the “it person,” it’s kind of hard for one to know how to validate themselves. To be honest it isn’t hard, start with meditating, reading, exercising (yes exercise), surround yourself with happy motivating people, seek out positive mentors, go to comedy clubs, volunteer, anything that can be beneficial to your well-being. Material things can only bring temporary happiness which means you still will fill empty if you’re not fulfilled mentally.

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Exhaustion: Mental, Physical, and Emotional Toll

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Exhaustion can set in when you least expect it and be an inconvenience. If you have been running on excitement and adrenaline for the past couple of hours, days, weeks, or whatever your time span is. Once that excitement wears off and your mood starts to change so does your energy. And that’s when exhaustion sets in.

It’s not easy to predict or prepare for when your busy and only thinking of the happy ending. But what we don’t take into account is the actual time it takes to get to that happy ending. For example, how many times have you planned something to the second of how its suppose to go rather it’s a party or you’re getting ready for one and things don’t go as plan. Or you end up being late because something got thrown off. Whatever the reason time was not on your side. Same for exhaustion.

You can be running and running on whatever energy that is getting the job done and then… BOOM. Time shows up and you’re out of it. Or if you did get it all done enjoying it will either never come or come later after you have recouped from the exhaustion. I know people say pace yourself and don’t rush. But when you live in a time sensitive world not much can be paced.

Now of course, most of us would just take something before that feeling of sit down kicks in. Like an energy drink, coffee, or for you illegal or maybe legal users something like a recreational drug can help. I know you have seen the caffeine pills sold at the gas stations by the register. But if we are always hyped up on adrenaline then there is something that can make us sit down. If you haven’t figured it out yet, here’s a clue the name is in the title. Yeap, good old friend exhaustion again. See even if you’re hyped up on caffeine to help keep you going, unfortunately we are not Energizer bunnies. Ladies and gents your body will crash. Some in an okay stable way at home or close and the others in an ambulance. See your mind might be ready but there is only so much the body can take. And believe me when it breaks it breaks people to a full fledge halt.

So be mindful of your limits because exhaustion can come in any form. Rather its physical, mental, or even spiritual it will take you out and force you to rest. Even if you’re not ready or don’t want to. Just make sure you’re paying attention to your needs and not just your wants. Thanks… SimplyBetty101