Tag: self love

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Empowerment of Women and Ourselves: You Deserve It Boo!!!!

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So I’m in a book club and the conversation about how women treat each other came up.  Basically, asking are you a bully or a protector? And most of us realized that we were taught to be tough either by strong female presence growing up or we fell victim to a strong female. We are all products of our environments and most of the time our environments are unintentionally teaching us to be mean girls.

For instance, for me growing up all I saw females being vindictive towards each other and seeing what pain we could inflict on each other. It wasn’t until my mom remarried and I actually got to see togetherness and empowerment from other women towards me.  Not to mention the unconditional love. As I went off to college I had to learn how to redefine what empowerment was not just for myself but to others around me.

It’s not easy to undo impressionable years of hate but with good intentions and better surroundings we can do anything we set our minds to.  Especially women, at times and throughout history we are the most mistreated beings on earth.  But also the most forgiving.  Remembering the pain and inflection that we went through.  It’s sad to see all the brokenness and struggle that we as women go through internally but it’s even more amazing to see the transformation.  The concept of being a better person or better woman in that matter it can be difficult.

I mean is it just me or does the universe intentionally try you when you’re trying to be a better woman.  It never fails every time I have a good talk or great women empowerment get togethers it’s like the universe says hold on ba boo-ski let me try your ratchet side.  And I have to do a countdown in my head to try and not snatch the woman who is trying me that day.  But hey we are all human and mistakes happen and we have to decide in that moment that we are better than that person trying to bring out the ratchetness in you.  But I’m trying and so should you.  Don’t let these crazies knock you off your horse and knock off your crown.  Be better, look better, act better, and know better because you are better and they are just jealous.  And we all know misery loves company.

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Happiness Comes From Within Not Social Media

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The cost of trying to be famous for millennials is not worth selling all of your being. Like bro and sis it is not worth it in the end or the near future. Let’s look at the statistics, how many wealthy people can actually say they are truly happy with their life? I can tell you right now money cannot buy happiness but yes it can solve problems but mo’ money also means mo’ problems. There is more at stake when you have it all boo- ski believe me. Just think about, when you are at the bottom of the economic status you don’t have as much to loose as someone who has built an entire empire and is sitting at the top of the economic pyramid. At any moment they can fall to the bottom alongside you. The only difference between someone with wealth and someone without wealth is the amount of resources that come to you willingly.

Yes, that is the only difference… the resources. Because someone who has “it all,” will have all those who also have it all (and who don’t) trying to get to the hot topic of a person who is new on the scene. But what they don’t show you is when that person is no longer the new kid on the block and they are no longer the sought out after person. Have you ever notice that celebrities who don’t do something drastic every year will soon fade into the background and eventually you forget about them. Well, real life works the same boo. From your job, to church (yes church), sports, social life, you name it. Trying to be the best in all that you do is exhausting. Now I’m not saying striving for your best if that’s what you truly want, is a waste. Only do this if it comes naturally and if it brings you happiness. Some people literally thrive on competition and competitiveness. And that is cool boo boo for you. But some of us can only run on that fuel for so long. Some need a schedule and to carve out time in a day, week, or month. But regardless, finding your self worth is way more rewarding than trying to be glorified and glamourous for social media. See when you know your self worth and then try to be just yourself. You will attract the fame that you were not looking for along with wealth. And when that happens you are now working on your time instead of racing to please everyone else and stay in the spotlight.

Millennials we need to stop looking to social media for validation for our lives. To be honest if you’re not focusing on your self worth and internal wealth then man you’re going to lose and these devastating suicides and homicides will never stop or slow down. I mean with social media being the validation of the “it person,” it’s kind of hard for one to know how to validate themselves. To be honest it isn’t hard, start with meditating, reading, exercising (yes exercise), surround yourself with happy motivating people, seek out positive mentors, go to comedy clubs, volunteer, anything that can be beneficial to your well-being. Material things can only bring temporary happiness which means you still will fill empty if you’re not fulfilled mentally.

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Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder, Misery Loves Company

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They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…but what if the beholder is you? Can you honestly say to yourself everyday that you love what you see…unconditionally? If you answered no to either of those questions than you need to re-evaluate your way of thinking. And realize you’re not the only one but there is hope, all is not lost my friend.

Now just because you’re not alone in this self love imagery, doesn’t mean that it is okay to seek love from others around you or go looking for it. See that’s not how love works. One has to really be okay and utilize all those features that either you don’t like or that everyone makes fun, and make it an advantage rather than a hindrance. That saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, needs to also say that you are the beholder. In this day and age being picked on and bullied doesn’t end at school it can also transpire over social media and the web. It is so easy for children and young adults to feel down and depressed because there is no off switch to the chaos. One can feel like their world is crumbling and life is better without them. And that is just sad and miserable.

But there is also another saying that people seem to forget…misery loves company. And since everyone is pumping out more misery it is easy for them to select those who just can’t catch a break and add to their suffering. Wow how self centered and pathetic we have gotten as a society to think that pain and suffering is enjoyable and will erase that whole in your heart. Confidence, compassion, love, self worth, and others are at an alarming low every time I look at my phone. I can only imagine how those who are still in grade school must feel. I mean the mass shootings and young adult/children suicide numbers should tell us something. But for people who are so consumed by our own world that we don’t even realize that the world doesn’t evolve around us, we evolve around it.

But there is a bright side…like all things that are bad there are opposites or ying and yang. Just like you wake up and feel depressed, lonely, heartless, worthless, etc you can also feel joy, love, compassion, self love, etc. and have everything that is sugar, spice, and nice (you see my rhymes…mad skills yo…lol). You know how you can get that awesome feeling? Just guess…come on think. Practice…what practice, practice what you say. Self love. Yes, start by practicing self love first and everything else will fall into place. See right now those who are preying on you are doing it because you don’t love yourself enough to not allow small or petty things like bullying bother you. You have to set your eyes on the prize… your future and what you’re going to be doing with it. Someone who is focused and driven about what they want in life doesn’t have time to worry about someone who is miserable and trying to add to that misery by including you. Yes, I know there are other forms of bullying like the physical portion but I’m referring to the mental part.

If your mind, spirit, and love for yourself is strong then instead of feeling hurt by others you will realize that you feel sorry for them and keep it moving. Now in order to practice self love you first have to remove yourself from the negative environment so that you can meditate and think for yourself. Not the dark thoughts but the happy thoughts of what could and will be of your dreams. You cannot allow others to control your emotions. Unplug and detox social media and socializing if you have to, so that you can have those moments to yourself. Once you start rationalizing and looking at things and situations in a different light you will soon see that there are other alternatives besides shooting, killing, harming yourself and others. Seek out knowledge and read books to engulf your thoughts and imagination to a place of happiness and then try to apply some of those feelings of self love outward. So yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beholder is you. Don’t let anyone try to stump on happiness and depress your soul. Lead by example and be extraordinary.