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Waxing: What You Need to Know About Them- Hard Wax Vs Soft Wax

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For some ladies and gentlemen, waxing can be a wonderful regular maintenance that can keep our bodies looking its best at all times.  For others, the shear mention of waxing makes them cringe.  But if you are wondering how and why people get them you first need to know that there are different forms of waxing.   While there are different styles you may be familiar with such as bikini, Brazilian, and the Au natural.  The wax that is used can be the difference of you want to keep doing this or this is painful and who in the right mind constantly does this.

One way is soft wax, which is the norm that most people see in movies where wax is applied and then immediately removed with either paper or a muslin strip.  This way is often perceived as extremely painful and deters a lot of people.  But there is an alternative, which is hard wax.  In this case hot/warm wax is applied, then allowed to dry and then the removal of hair by pulling the dry wax off.  Now looking at the names one would think that the hard wax is the most painful and soft wax is more appealing.  The name is only in reference to how the wax is used.  Soft wax stays soft and does not get hard, whereas hard wax has to dry or get hard in order to be removed with the hairs attached.

Now I will reason with you, if you are tender person or have a low tolerance of pain than waxing may not be your cup of tea.  If you are a frequent shaver of any place you plan on waxing.  Be aware it will cause some discomfort.  But this is not to deter you just to inform you.  If you are not sure of the pain, just think of it as someone ripping off a band-aid on a hairy part of your body.  Like a band-aid rip the pain is only temporary.  And if you have a professional doing your waxing and they are good they will gauge and coach you on how to handle the process.  Now please do not think that the process is forever because with a good waxer even if you’re getting a Brazilian or the Au natural, the process may only take up to 15 mins.  If its your first time maybe 20 to 30 mins depending how well you’re doing.

Next, if it is your first time getting a wax especially if you usually shave it will hurt more.  This is only because your hair is growing back thicker and more course so to speak.  Rather than the hair being removed from the root and pull out.  When the hair is pulled out from the root the hair will either not grow back or if it does it will grow back softer, which means it won’t be as thick.  This also means less painful.  It is true that if you continue to get waxes on a regular basis then you will get use to the pain.  There are places such European Wax Center, that mostly use their own mix of hard wax for most of their waxes and even sell wax passes.

As for the cost, you can get around that especially if you’re a student.  There are plenty of companies that have discounted prices for students, as well as first time waxers.  You may be able to get a wax 50% off or free depending on the specials.  I would look for coupons and deals on Groupon for places in your area.  Also, some places that are setup near a university can only have low prices based on their location.  If you’re wondering about price depending on the places, waxes can range from $20 to over $100.  The most expensive price I paid was $80 but I did have a $60 gift card.  My next price was $35 for a Groupon coupon and then that set price because I was a student.  I then switch to the company European Wax Center where a Brazilian is only $50 and if you’re a first timer its half off.  So though EWC is located in several states, I recommend that you do your research and find a subtle place and waxer.  This is your private area or body and it is a temple.  Just like you watch what you put in it I suggest to watch you does anything to it.

Now this is not an advertisement to my place which is EWC, I’m not getting paid to suggest them.  I’m just mentioning them because I have and currently using them and I love it.  Within 20 mins of arriving I’m paying and leaving.  So in short if you are just starting out I would suggest to go with a small wax session such as, bikini line, or strip.  You can even try a butt strip just to see how you feel about it or just get another part of body waxed altogether.  And then if it is something that you want to pursue long-term then go for it.  Below is a link of wax types and areas that they pertain to.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/beauty-hair/g3225/bikini-wax-styles/

Finally, if you did decide to get a waxing, it is of utmost importance to properly take care of skin afterwards.  That means no swimming, no harsh chemicals, and if you waxed your private area please bath in lukewarm water with anti bacterial soap for the next couple of cleanings.  I suggest this to help kill any bacterial and help heal the skin.  No fragrances or fragrance washes as well.  You want to treat this as if you have a new tattoo or if you’re trying to keep a wound from getting infected.  Upon, doing research on your wax therapist, make sure they have a reputation of being clean and you want to make sure you watch them on sanitary.  After you have covered your basis with them now it is your turn to make sure your body can handle it.  After care is just as important as before and during care.  If they sell products, look them up and read reviews.  Ask what’s in the product.  Because the last thing you want is for everything to go well and you use a product that does not react well to your skin.  If you have been using a product that helps with razor bumps and it works, continue using that you do not have to buy their products.  Now I hope this blog helps with any questions or fears you have about waxing and good luck.

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

 

 

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Coloring Hair: Permanent or Semi-Permanent/Rinse Which Method is Better For Your Hair

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People have been dyeing hair since before it was a popular thing to do in today’s society.  There is evidence that natives in other cultures and countries that shows the nature ingredients that are used also plays a part in coloring their hair.  But this blog is not about the history of dyeing hair but differences in ways you can achieve color without damaging your hair.

Coloring your hair can be tricky especially if this is your first. The risks are high but the beautiful outcome is even better. But it has to be done right. Here are some do’s and dont’s of coloring hair. Rather than just jumping in and dying your hair red or blonde or pink or whatever that color is you’re trying to achieve make sure you know all the risk.  After you have made your selection on color, now research on how your going to achieve that color. You have 2 options of coloring, permanent or semi permanent which is a rinse.

Now if you have selected permanent hair dye you have to be careful on the product chemicals and harshness it can cause to your hair.  Permanent hair dye has a lot of chemicals and can cause damage especially on already processed hair.  For instance, if you have relaxed hair or perm you will need to give your hair time to adjust to the chemicals and retain some strength. Waiting more than 6 weeks is the recommended time. But if you have relaxed or permed hair and you still want to dye your hair.  It is recommended that a semi permanent or rinse is used. Since after a couple of weeks or washes the color will fade and come out.  And if your still not sure you can always consult a coloring specialist.  Notice I said coloring specialist, because there is hair stylist that can give your wrong advice or damage your hair even more.  You want to make sure you have someone who not only cares about achieving the color desire but also the health of your hair.  If a coloring specialist advises you not to use permanent hair coloring, listen to them.  If not you can’t blame anyone but yourself if your hair comes out.

Then, if you decide to color your hair on natural hair, you may just come out better than a person with processed hair.  Since your hair is in a natural state and has little to no chemicals your hair strains are way stronger than those who have processed hair.  Therefore, permanent hair color takes better to natural hair in most cases.  There are cases where natural hair strains are just not strong enough to handle the harsh chemicals in coloring products.  Which is why it is also important to test a couple of strains before applying color.  It also may be even more beneficial to consult a natural hair coloring specialist.  If you are unable to find one in your area I suggest doing a ton of research.

Next, you go the safer route which is semi-permanent route or rinse.  Then you my friend are making a great choice.  I prefer rinse just because I like to change my hair color often.  Like a couple of colors per year often and applying a rinse is much easier.  The only danger for applying semi-permanent dye is the possible use of creme developers and bleaching agents.  Now these are chemicals that help either lighten up your natural hair color or help the new coloring bond with your actual hair.  Now these agents are usually used on dark-colored hair.  For instance, say you have black or dark brown hair and you want to go a bright red or pink.  Well just dying your hair that color will only result in a dark version of the color you wanted.  So again be careful with these developers.

Now if you are opposed to taking any advice about hair coloring and the serious effect it can have if not done properly you can always start completely over.  Yes, cutting off all damaged hair and starting completely over.  Rather you have to go bald or rock a cute pixie cut, believe me it is not the end of the world.  Unlike other things that don’t grow back like fingers and eyes.  Your hair will grow back.  It may take some time but it will grow back.  Besides if you are in need of length there is always wigs and weave.  So rather you’re dyeing your hair yourself or getting a professional.  Remember, to ask what chemicals are used, rather your hair can handle the chemicals, and is it worth the hassle?

 

Thanks… SimplyBetty101

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To My Son: The Promises I Make to You

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As father’s day draws near and the day that you will once again be in my arms; I just wanted to take the time to write this. If over the years you feel discourage in my capabilities as a mother to you. Or you feel at any point I have failed you. Know that I did my best and most importantly I LOVE You more than anything the universe could ever offer me. Everything that I accomplished in life is nothing compared to bringing you into this world. Even though this world will do a lot of damage, please never give up and remember all the good things in life. Especially, those who truly love you… God and your parents. Yes, there will be times where you question everything in life. But I promise there is always light after the darkness. With that being said…

I will promise to do my best at all times to being a great parent to you.
I promise to provide you with what you need and strive for what you want.
I promise to be your backup when you are in the right and just.
I promise to guide you when you are lost.
I promise to protect your heart and soul from the evils of the world until you are strong enough to guard them yourself.
I promise to love you until the end of time.
I promise to give you the tools you need to survive and strive and conquer the world.

To my baby boy, my third pregnancy, my first born, to my blessing, I most importantly promise to be your mom.

Love Always,
Mom

Thanks for reading…. SimplyBetty101

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Pregnancy: The Mind Experience

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Being a mother is a wonderful experience and you can find plenty of blogs and post about the different challenges that comes with it. You can even spark an entire conversation with someone random about it. But what about pregnancy? Sure there are plenty of blogs and posts and books about the physical changes and what to expect, but what about the mental? For women and men both it can be a challenging concept to wrap your mind around. So I thought I would share some insights.

Now if you are one of those women who have always dreamed about kids and are planning everything down to when to get pregnant and with whom then this too can be of some use. Society just assumes that once a woman becomes pregnant that we can deal with it and keep going. But in reality for a lot of woman there is a tug of war going on in our minds that is pulling in more than one direction. I remember when I found out that I was pregnant for the 3rd time, I was in shock. Not just because I was pregnant but because this was the 3rd one and I only have one child. See I had two failed pregnancies before and I didn’t want to be too excited and I was completely and utterly sacred. All those what if questions started popping up in my head and I freaked out, mentally. Not to mention that after the second pregnancy I went into depression or postpartum depression and I didn’t seek help I just processed pain the best way I knew how, working and being alone.

See the first pregnancy took a lot out of me, though it is kind of funny story now. See when I found out I took 3 Clear Blue pregnancy test, all which literally said pregnant, called the my doctor’s office for her to tell me that this is one of the most accurate test on the market, and that I’m actually pregnant. To me telling my future (now) husband and seeing his face of shock just like mine. To me jumping into my truck, driving 4 hours back home to my parents for the next 3 days. To me getting there telling my mother first who was ecstatic, until she saw my face. Then going to an abortion clinic to get tested, only to have the lady hand me a piece of paper that said, “EDD 4/14/2014.” At which point I asked her what did “EDD” mean, she said the most dreaded words I would’ve ever heard, EXPECTED DUE DATE. And finally me going into shock. I didn’t hear anything after that. I was terrified, no mortified that my life was about to change drastically and I wasn’t ready.

See I was the girl growing up who helped my parents out with my younger siblings, all which are boys and so damn bad, at that time. So I said to myself and God, that I didn’t want kids. And when I met my now husband he also had the same goals. I wanted to travel and go out and do whatever I wanted. I was getting my masters, working, and was living very comfortably. Both of us were. Not only was I not mentally ready, neither was my body. Soon after that I was sick as a dog. I mean throwing up, always nauseous even before I would get out of bed. I just felt awful, not to mention the questions running in my head….

How on earth did this happen?
Am I really about to be a parent?
Would I suck at it?
Is the next 18 years of my life really going to suck?
Can my spouse handle it?
Will I be a single parent?
Can I afford to be a parent?

All kinds of questions were going through my head and then the moment I started to feel just a smeggit of excitement and announce it on social media to family and friends, the unthinkable happened. Right at 12 weeks my body rejected the pregnancy, my little girl. I was heart-broken. Yes, it was tough to wrap my head around being pregnant and giving birth and of course my life wasn’t where I wanted it to be but I was going to do it and commit not matter the outcome. And to have it taken away was devastating. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t even give my body time to heal. Literally, 3 days after getting a D and C I was back at work and school. Throwing myself into whatever it was I was doing before I got pregnant. My thought was, that God was telling me I wasn’t ready and to get myself together, no biggy. And then 2 months later I miscarried again.

The difference this time, the week I found out I was pregnant is also the same week I miscarried and I was only about 4 weeks. Now what made this so traumatizing is the fact that I didn’t get another D and C done because I didn’t have the PTO and time to do it and we (my doctor and I) thought I would just passed the fetus through my cycle. Boy were we wrong, see I miscarried either late December or first few days January. I took the Pitocin pills to induce labor around my cycle to passed at home. But I went into labor in April. Yes, months after it was all over and done, so we thought, I went into labor at home in the middle of the night. The contractions were unreal. Now I know some of you are going to say maybe you got pregnant again and didn’t know it. Well according to tests, ultrasounds, etc they all showed otherwise. It was later found that it was the fetus of my second pregnancy. See my fetus never came out during my cycle in January and after that night my cycles were off the chain. I mean going into mini labors and pushing tissue out on the last couple of days, off the chain. I had to eventually get another D and C done, and this is what broke me mentally.

I said all this to explain that I was mentally spaced/checked out. I literally went into depression. It was not a safe place. I questioned everything…

How can I, a woman, given that the sole purpose of a woman’s body on God’s green Earth, not carry a child?
Is this punishment for stating that I didn’t want any?
How can I be with a man if eventually he may want kids? And I can’t provide that?
Is this a sign showing that I am an unfit mother?
Would I even consider being married?
Am I wasting my life away?
Am I wasting his life and time being with him?
Will another woman come along and show me up/out?
Are we suppose to be together?
Did I miss some opportunity?
Is it because of this cervical cancer overhead?
Is it because I had cervical surgery prior to the first pregnancy?
Should I even exist if I can’t bear children/child?
What is it? I’m so lost and alone.

People don’t realize that some of simplest things to them are terrifying to others. And I’m pretty sure each woman who has ever been pregnant has had some type of anxiety attack in their heads about pregnancy, birth, motherhood, postpartum, the list goes on. I know some reading this may say, “well how is it that women can talk about everything else but not topics like this?” Well simple, no one wants to be the first at being a Debbie-downer or party pooper, why would I ruin someone else’s day with my problems that I can fix on my own. And the truth is we can’t always be that strong person all the time. Where would that help come from? Me personally I didn’t want to go to some group therapy and talk about my experience with other women who also were having problems the same as mine. I don’t like letting people see me that vulnerable. I don’t like letting the outside world looking into my thoughts and personal feelings. I am not just a book or someone’s note session, but I will admit that can be a downfall. No, I didn’t talk to a therapist but I did talk to my spouse and close friends who also had the same experiences. I found out that I wasn’t alone if I would’ve at least tried talking to them first before shutting everyone out. But I do understand that everyone isn’t as supportive as you would like and it is a delicate situation. But it can have a devastating effect on yourself and those around you. So seek help before you seek the end.

Thanks SimplyBetty101

Postpartum depression
Also called: PPD

Requires a medical diagnosis
Symptoms might include insomnia, loss of appetite, intense irritability, and difficulty bonding with the baby.
People may experience:
Mood: anger, anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or panic attack
Behavioral: crying, irritability, or restlessness
Psychological: depression, fear, or repeatedly going over thoughts
Whole body: fatigue or loss of appetite
Cognitive: lack of concentration or unwanted thoughts
Weight: weight gain or weight loss
Also common: insomnia

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Random Thought…JUMP and Take the RISK

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Why are you so scared to jump? Starting something new isn’t going to be easy and you may not have the support that you are used to. But ask yourself these questions

1. What can you sacrifice?
2. Can you live with that decision?
3. What scares you about this decision?
4. Is it worth your happiness for the rest of your life/ is the decision based on the betterment for you?

Yes, taking a leap of faith on yourself to pursue something that has always been a dream is scary and maybe dangerous. But do you want to be one of those people who always wondered what life would’ve been like? Or do you want to say I tried and conquered. Or maybe you didn’t conquer but it took you on a different route to satisfaction. No one can decide your life but yourself. And yes you may lose those you hold and cherish, but if they cannot support or understand, did they really cherish you? Don’t be surprise if those you look up such as family, best friend, or even ideals walk away or discourage you. Everything will come full circle and life will proceed with or without them. Look even if you’re doing things to help others, wouldn’t you be in a better position to help those if you were happy?

Think about it….SimplyBetty101

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Transitioning….?

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What if your transitioning into a new you whether it’s for work, new home, parenthood, or just phasing out if the party life. What is now the new norm for you? What else fun is there to do that is more your speed?

I’m currently going through that transitioning as I type this up. Now that I am married, a parent, and focused more on my career of being my own boss. Things that use to interest me just don’t do it for me anymore. The fact that I am more excited to buy decor and furniture for our new place than for me to go out and party, is way more exciting. Like a kid in a candy store excited. Going to family events and being in a calm environment that’s more controlled and stable is wonderful. Don’t get me wrong I love a good turnup just like the next person but only on my own terms with like minded people as well. When you surround yourself with people that are also transitioning, you find that very similar bond and growth that you may just need. A support group. This also means new friends.

But if you can transition with those you have been friends with it can be an awesome feeling and experience. But if you can’t, don’t give up so easily. So just because you are now in a different space than those you cherish doesn’t mean you have to abandon them. Try coaching or encouraging them to get on your level or higher. You may be surprised at what you find. Sometimes people just need others to lead so that they can fall suit. Not all leaders start off as leaders and not all followers will stay followers.

Thanks SimplyBetty101

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Exhaustion: Mental, Physical, and Emotional Toll

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Exhaustion can set in when you least expect it and be an inconvenience. If you have been running on excitement and adrenaline for the past couple of hours, days, weeks, or whatever your time span is. Once that excitement wears off and your mood starts to change so does your energy. And that’s when exhaustion sets in.

It’s not easy to predict or prepare for when your busy and only thinking of the happy ending. But what we don’t take into account is the actual time it takes to get to that happy ending. For example, how many times have you planned something to the second of how its suppose to go rather it’s a party or you’re getting ready for one and things don’t go as plan. Or you end up being late because something got thrown off. Whatever the reason time was not on your side. Same for exhaustion.

You can be running and running on whatever energy that is getting the job done and then… BOOM. Time shows up and you’re out of it. Or if you did get it all done enjoying it will either never come or come later after you have recouped from the exhaustion. I know people say pace yourself and don’t rush. But when you live in a time sensitive world not much can be paced.

Now of course, most of us would just take something before that feeling of sit down kicks in. Like an energy drink, coffee, or for you illegal or maybe legal users something like a recreational drug can help. I know you have seen the caffeine pills sold at the gas stations by the register. But if we are always hyped up on adrenaline then there is something that can make us sit down. If you haven’t figured it out yet, here’s a clue the name is in the title. Yeap, good old friend exhaustion again. See even if you’re hyped up on caffeine to help keep you going, unfortunately we are not Energizer bunnies. Ladies and gents your body will crash. Some in an okay stable way at home or close and the others in an ambulance. See your mind might be ready but there is only so much the body can take. And believe me when it breaks it breaks people to a full fledge halt.

So be mindful of your limits because exhaustion can come in any form. Rather its physical, mental, or even spiritual it will take you out and force you to rest. Even if you’re not ready or don’t want to. Just make sure you’re paying attention to your needs and not just your wants. Thanks… SimplyBetty101

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Over-staying Your Welcome

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So today I was wondering how long have I been here at my cousins house? Even though I’m only staying here to find a place for my own family, I was hoping that it would be a quick 2 to 3 day stay. But thinking on it I have been here a full 7 day week. Though I know she doesn’t mind I feel like I’m being a leech. Which is why I hope she never sees this post…lol the amount of killer eye she will give me is undeniable.

Look I appreciate the help and guidance but if I was in her position there is a limit for me. Now by no means am I one if those family members who doesn’t help nor clean up behind themselves. I have been fussed at for cleaning the kitchen and putting a trash bag in the trash can. Not that is was a real “don’t touch nothing,” her house is ran under certain rules. Also not to mention she is a bit OCD, she likes things done a certain way. And this is where my understanding comes in.

If it were me I do appreciate the help and love the company but at some point I would want to get back to my regular scheduled program of how I like my house ran. Children are still in school here which means they have rules on a daily basis and one cannot come in and throw off that schedule. One must be in stealth mode at all times and go with the flow. All while trying not to upset the balance of everyday life. And still be comfortable to do what I need for my family as well. I like the idea of being in the house with a kitchen that has love and laughter. But I also know that it is not my house and this is what I’m looking for. I love the uncoditional love and support my family provides but there comes a time when a girl just wants some alone time. Especially before hubby gets here.

So with that being said, people if you are staying with a friend or relative please understand body language and don’t over stay your welcome. Especially if your able to stay somewhere else. Now if you are in desperate need, then your circumstances are different. But please be less of a burden as possible. And if you just have that family that loves company then this does not apply to you as well. As always thanks for reading … SimplyBetty101

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Family Time: Values and Morals

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As I sit here thinking of things to talk about there is only one thing that comes to mind… my family. Most importantly my son and the values, morals, and life lessons of what will shape him to become a man one day. Though I have done some silly things in my twenties (not to give away my age… I’m still there barely) that I am currently trying to fix for the betterment of our lives. There are some things that were very beneficial to me and molding me to the person I am today.

Being a parent is a wonderful thing and a grand experience, but it can also be a terrifying one as well. Being responsible for a person that will have an impact on humanity in any kind of way is a scary thought. There are all kinds of what ifs and did I do it correctly that just come at you like a boulder. Sure, you think about getting your child into the best schools, raising them in the safest neighborhood that you can afford, giving them the luxuries that you never had growing up, and most importantly making sure you instill those main core values that a person would need to function in this world. In my previous blog Sour-Patch Kids: What Discipline Action Should Be Taken If Any? I touched about giving a child discipline through spanking and asked if it was a good idea? But in this blog, I want the subject to be a more fun and energetic vibe. Instead of asking questions, I will just go over some things that I do with my son and why I create that participation with him.

First, what is important to me when it comes to my son? And the answer to that question is simply… time. Spending time with my son in any kind of way is important, including the time apart. See this little person that developed and grew from conception until birth inside of me, must learn about the world in the best way I know how to teach him. Example, when we go to the zoo and see different animals that is a way for him to learn perception and exploration. Letting him know that the world is way bigger than what he sees daily and that his everyday characters that he sees on tv are inspired by real life animals. It also teaches him different vocabulary and restraint. See I have a toddler that is still developing verbal skills so exposing him to different aspects of the zoo where he can physically touch, smell, and interact with animals gets him excited to learn and see more. These trips and other fun activities are also considered bonding time together. This is also where body language is can be at its finest. Think about it, how many times have you been watching your child to then realize for some odd reason your child is about to make a mad dash somewhere, or about to fall and hurt themselves. It’s like you have a sixth sense of what is about to happen and how terrible it can be.

Being in public teaches your child control and restraint because at home lets face it they run everything or just with no boundaries and you’re not on edge as much. Same thing with playtime, all the important factors of life are taught and learned through your child’s playtime. It may seem small in your eyes right now but think about it. Your child can hit your nerves and your’re almost at your breaking point. But your child learns those subtle cues of I’m about to get in trouble let me stop. Or they smile with a grimace and instead test my parents… lol.
Let’s face it kids are in their learning stages from the moment they are born until the day they decide to completely learn on their own. So, to sum everything up I love the time I get with my child. It’s a learning experience for him that teaches him core values, morals, body language, importance of family, and a list of other things.

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Moving In and On: House and Career Dreams

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Looking for a change in life? Rather you’re looking to transition to a beautiful new home, career, or both remember not all transitions are easy. And not all will be on your timeline either. Don’t get discourage. Look at it as a challenge or hurdle that you have to move out of your way.

Not every door will open when you want it to and not all doors lead you to where you expect. Somethings have to be taken with a blind leap of faith and persistence. Think of life as a child that doesn’t listen all of the time. With children you will have to have the patience of a person who has all the time in the world and have your anger in check at all times. Plus you also have to keep explaining and instructing children to do what you need. The same rules apply to your potential home or career. Children are put into our lives to test us and the world has the same code of life. It’s all just a test that you will ace. Yes you may have to take the test multiple times until you pass it but you’ll get there. So don’t be discourage when someone is trying to block a blessing from you. Remember whatever is for you no man can take from you no matter how hard they try.

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101