Tag: simplybetty101

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Dear Mr. Forever I Promise 2 You: My Vows

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Today is finally here, after 10 years of ups and downs, war wounds, and the greatest part of my life thus far. I just wanted to say that even though I have expressed and shown you love throughout the years writing this was a bit exciting.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you even when we’re together. There’s not a day where I don’t get excited to hear your voice or to look into those dark brown eyes. You have pushed me, supported me, and cared for me at my lowest time. We have lost so much but gained more than we could ever imagine as a unit. Where most people would’ve just given in and wanted us to just move on from each other we stayed because we saw something in each other that no one else could.

Yes I nag and complain a lot but what girl who is spoiled doesn’t? And where would the fun be if I just complied to everything. And we both know that’s not my nature. You are my better half and challenge me to be my best. I love your selflessness and your ability to see the dream with me. On this special day 10 years ago I challenged you to tell me what this was and you answered well I guess we’re a relationsfip and ended the convoy with saying L word. Even then we knew that we loved each other and that this would be forever. As the song says you make me better… I love you…

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Sour-Patch Kids: What Discipline Action Should Be Taken If Any?

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Is it me or do kids really act like those sour patch gummies you see in the commercial.  I mean one minute I’m so aggravated with my child either peeing on the floor after he sat on his pot for  20 minutes or throwing his food all over  the place after he is finish eating or my favorite smacking me in the head with one of those hot wheels.  But then something beautiful happens and all is forgiven that quickly.  As if there isn’t a puddle  or number 2 on the floors that you just mopped.  It’s like really really  hard to stay mad at him.  And then the chaos starts again.

What is it with children that they can sense at such an early age that mommy is  about to have a breakdown.  Now I do understand that not all kids have this sense or they do and just don’t care.  And to those moms I am truly sorry and just try to think of their sleep time to pass the time.  But to others that have those perfect little angels when mommy is sick or ill or just sick and tired of  yelling, please that feeling we get right when we’re about to explode  and somehow it disappears.  Or we  do  explode and your child has a completely different personality afterwards.  What is that feeling?  Because if  that feeling gets my child to act  right immediately afterwards every time I need  that 24/7.  I mean but why why do I have to get to that point before my child realizes okay mommy is about to explode for my child to act right.  I mean is this all apart of the test me I am terrible two stage.  And if so who in their wrong mind started it, I would love to talk to them personally.

Don’t get me wrong I love my little bundle to infinity and beyond but at times I want to old days were spankings weren’t against the law, not neccesarliy against the law but for those who just think it’s child abuse.  I mean I got them, of course I didn’t misbehave until I was older like most girls, and I turned out great.  I am a two-time college graduate, I didn’t have my child until I was 27 going on 28, and we’re in the process of buying a house and I will be married next month.  So in retrospect I think I did pretty good.  Now granted I didn’t do everything by the olden days book like get married, have kids, and stay at home with them.  Sorry I’m not that perfect.  But still at least some discipline was good.  Now I’m not saying child abuse, believe me perverts and wicked people there is a big, huge difference but some redirection would help.  Not all children learn discipline on the same level.  Think about, your child may learn from time outs while another may learn from getting toys, tv, and favorites taken away.  But what about those who don’t comprehend neither.  Should a good pop on the hands be such a bad thing if it gets that child to remember that if I do this particular thing then I will get popped on the hands.  And if that child doesn’t want to be popped then they won’t do it again?

Listen I may not be a psychologist or a child therapist but I do understand that all kids can’t be taught the same way.  For instance, my child doesn’t sit still for long periods of time not even 5 minutes unless it’s his favorite show and that doesn’t always work.  So time-outs are not going to work.  And I don’t want him to think that every time he acts up he is rewarded with his favorites.  And taking his toys hasn’t worked either because he hasn’t connected the misbehave and discipline because he is too young.  He has learned a lot from trail and error but I don’t want him to learn everything that way.  I mean there are just somethings he can’t learn that way, such as playing with a knife or scissors, electric socket, throwing the ball at a big screen tv mounted or sitting above him.  Or even trying to pet everyone’s dog or my favorite that everyone has dealt with, taking your child out of the car and before you can position them correctly they snatch and run towards traffic.  Even if you’re in a parking lot or garage, the shear fear that overcomes you in that moment will give you a heart-attack.  So in those moments how would you correct it?  Yelling at them won’t work, hell you do that on a daily basis in the house, store, car, and etc.  Of course, trying to scare them won’t work because I would imagine that some toddlers haven’t grasp the fear of everything just yet.  So in that instance would a pop on the hand or pull-up or bottom if your child is potty trained, help?

This is a topic that will never have a correct or wrong answer.  It will be debated until the end of time.  My discipline growing up went through stages, I would get grounded and have things taken away and I did get spankings growing up.  All which have shaped and molded me to the person I am today.  Now my fiancé didn’t get spankings he got more of the “I’m disappointed in you,” and he too has turned out just fine.  My cousins grew-up with trail  and error and all of us are either business owners, entrepreneurs, high status economically, or perfectly happy with life.  We all motivate each other to greatness and logically think about things with consequences before we act.  Are we perfect human beings?  Nope, we all had downfalls but those lessons that were taught growing up helped us.  So my point on it is, I’m not against it as long as it is done correctly, and I know not all children need that form of correction.  And while some children can function on a strict schedule there are those who like to throw schedules out of the window, like mine.  So trying to find a balance and trying different things doesn’t make you a bad parent it just means your trying to be the best parent you can possible be for your children.  There is no exact manual for children their all completely different individuals.  And their process of thinking is different, think about it.   I’m pretty sure you get upset when people group you and your siblings or someone you know in the same category all the time.  Even though would like to be treated and viewed as an individual, I can only imagine with twins and multiples.   That is where it is more evident to be your own person.

But I am interested in what you guys think so please comment below.  And if you are in a profession that help discipline children or correct a child’s mental capacity due to stupid and unnecessary abuse also comment.  Please try to see each other’s point of view because remember every child and person is different and should be treated as such.

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Everything Wedding: No Matter the Timeframe and Budget

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Love is beautiful and undeniable when it’s right. It seems as if the entire world has lined up and everything just makes perfect sense. Now as quickly as you fell in love you want to get hitch. But let’s be realistic weddings can be expensive even if your on a budget. Well here are a few ideas you can use when money is tight but you want your dream wedding.

1. Venue…now weather your planning your wedding in a year, a week, or somewhere in between you have to figure out where you want to hold your wedding. A cheap route would be justice of the peace or or local church. An even cheaper route is your backyard or living room. But you have to select a venue within your budget because that is going to add to your total cost. Even a public beach maybe a great idea or a destination wedding to get wedding and honeymoon out of the way.

2. Dress…there are plenty of ideas you can use for a wedding dress especially if your going with a theme. Your gown doesn’t have to cost $2000 or higher. Believe me there are plenty of gowns for only $100 or less. For instance take David Bridals a very well known bridal shop. Now you would think all of their gowns are expensive or above your price range. But if you know in January that you will be getting married before or right around wedding season then your in luck. Every year David Bridal has a sale to get rid of their old inventory in preparation for wedding season so dresses are usually $99 on average. An even better idea would be online via Amazon, Wish, or a smaller boutique for your gown. Just in case you want that “say yes to the dress experience” with your family. It’s all about digging around and using your resources. Maybe you can revamp a old dress into a wedding dress.

3. Rings…once again your faced with the deliema of going cheap or starting your marriage off with a debt if your funds aren’t that banging. Well there are other options. You can start at stores such as Zales or Kay jeweler at the beginning of the year. Because just like David Bridal they have to get rid of that old inventory. Now jewelry stores are a little different because new inventory comes in during the hot months. Think about how many times did you see jewelry commercials around Valentine’s, Christmas, and wedding season. This my friend is your opportunity to catch a sale. It is possible to get all 3 bands (engagement ring, wedding band, and the man’s wedding band) for under $1000. Now weather your looking for something cute or massive make sure you do research on rings before you go. For instance, looking up the different types of rings and diamonds and what everything means. Also you may check out alternatives such as lab created diamonds, moissanite, or refurbished rings. Especially if you are worried about those blood diamonds that you hear about on tv. Getting alternative diamond can save you a fortune and still have a beautiful ring for the fraction of the price.

4. Food…this is where you can break your bank account, literally. Knowing how many people you want to share your moment with is important because you pay for the food. Now some caterers have reasonable prices such as 100 people and below maybe can run a base price of $600 to $1000. When you have over 100 people especially the 150 to 200 range now the price can change to per person. Which can be anywhere from $15 per person to $50/$60 per person depending to the menu. Do not panic their are alternatives, if you absolutely know someone that can cook very well, ask them. Even if they haven’t catered before. Or the family can pitch in, buy and cook the food. Where there is a will there is a way.

5. Cake…now this can run you anywhere from $500 to over $1000 making sure you check out all of your options is important. Local grocery stores such as Wal-Mart, Kroger, Winn Dixie, and other chain stores sale wedding cakes at reasonable prices and are usually pretty good. If your looking for a Pinterest wedding cake then looking at professional bakeries and people who bake wedding cakes for a living are your best bet. Or can can even try a cutlinery student or school to take a swing at it; this route may also be light on your budget but you also risk a disater. Now depending on the baker your cake can be expensive and over your budget. But if your not concerned with the cake that much as far as looks then your local chain store or smaller cakes is a better option. Remember the higher the body count of people the more cake you will need to have.

5. Decorations…this part of the wedding can be the cheapest part of the budget. If you are very crafty then Dollar Tree, Hobby Lobby, and Michael’s can be your best friend. Also if you know a popular place that host weddings and/or events and usually throw away decorations, recycle them. Take ideas from Pinterest and use those cheap websites like Esty, Amazon, Party City, and etc. Of course this route will require your time but you will appreciate the craft that goes into making beautiful decorations.

Congratulations, on your new adventure of love. Planning a wedding can be overwhelming. But it can also be easy and light on the pockets. So is it possible to plan an entire wedding with just $500? Yes, it is you just have to use your resources around you. Good luck.

Thanks for reading….SimplyBetty101

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Tech “NO” Relationships

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In today’s society it’s so easy to meet new people and learn everything about them at the tip of your fingertips. But how well can you really get to know a person by reading their life story online instead of connecting with them on an intimate level once you meet them? Are we so disconnected socially that relationships are only composed of causal friendships and one night stands? Think about the last relationship you had. Did you spend more time communicating and keeping up with your partner electronically? Once you were with that person did you only have a short intimacy and then were consumed with tv and electronics? If you’re answering yes to most of these questions then your next relationship will be completely different after reading this.

Here are a couple of things you can try the next time you are around friends and family just to do a trail run to see how things go. Your next gathering instead of everyone having access to their phones ask them to put their phones on silent and enjoy a wine tasting or meet and greet. Now your probably wondering why you would do a meet and greet with family and friends of people you already know. But do you know them based on the info from online or them telling you directly? Having a meal with friends and family to talk about things that are happening that week or that have already happened gives you a sense of how people really feel. This also enhances your abilities to read body language and gauge people emotions. You can express thoughts without someone taking it in a text the wrong way. Being connected mentally to a person allows you to understand people on a level that you can never get electronically.

Now your probably saying that you’re not always on your phone. But seriously you do. You know how I know you do? Because either you or someone in the group is always posting online for the world to see how much fun your having. But why does it matter to the world of how much fun you have? See we’re so consumed with what everyone is doing on a constant basis that we miss the real life connections and experience right in front of us. Think about it, how many missing persons photos do you come across on your timeline? How many people you know even as young as 5 years old don’t have cellphones? How do we miss the creepy person that has been following you for the last 3 or 4 stores? Or the kid that may just be a little overweight because they rather play video games or be on electronics than to go outside? It’s because we have decided that all the info we need is via online even a person that you have never met. The first thing people do is look up that persons social media account; rather its Instagram, Facebook, twitter (maybe not), or Snapchat. How many blind dates have you been on and when you met the person they were nothing like their profile? People can create so many lies and catfish others into believing that lie. But if we sharpened our communication skills outside of our electronics then there wouldn’t be such a disconnect.

Meeting people on a social level can be exciting and thrilling. You will be surprised on how well your communication skills have developed. That fright that you have standing up for yourself can disappear. Giving a speech that you wrote out so perfectly wouldn’t be so hard if your social skills were better. The next blind date that you go won’t be so nerve-racking if you are able to read that person’s body language. You may be able to tell if they are actually into you instead checking their social media every few seconds. Knowing if a person just wants a causal relationship or if they actually want a more deep and serious relationship is helpful.

So next date or family and friend event you have. Make a rule of no phones unless it’s an emergency or you can say that no post can be posted. Whatever the rule is to make the day or event a more tech “no” night….lol. Believe me it’s beneficial for everyone involved. You may also find out that you don’t like people who you call friends as much as you thought you did. Or it may draw you closer. Remember secrets and personal info should never be shared over any type of electronic device, that’s called evidence. Look all I’m saying is that it is nice to get to know a person for who they really are, not who they want to be via social media. You can be catfished even if you have known that person for years. People can change over time. If it’s your spouse have date night without electronics. You can do dinner, bike rides, fair/carnival, or even walks together. Ask each other about short-term and long-term goals. What is their aspiration? What is your aspiration? Just remember this instead of always trying to capture the moment, be in the moment. The world does not always have to know.

Thanks for reading…..SimplyBetty101

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Life Can Be A Fairytale: If You Dream It and Allow It

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So, your cuddled up on the couch, watching your favorite fairytale movie, and wondering wow I wish life was like that. Well why not make it an reality? The only thing standing in your way of your dream man, lifestyle, or career is you honey. See most of us think that fairytales don’t happen in real life but they do because those who chose to make it an reality did it.

Take Cinderella for instance, she didn’t have it all peaches and wonderland. No at the beginning it was fun but once tragedy struck again and again she was dealt some bad hands. But that didn’t stop her from imagining and keeping her hopes up. And looked what happened she became queen. I mean she was living in rags talking to rodents and animals all day. I mean most of us would call that batshit crazy and turn the other cheek. But homegirl had dreams and hope, that became a reality.

Let’s take another one, Tiana from Princess and the Frog for example. She was turned into a frog when she was already working hard to save up and open an restaurant. They even had a song stating you got to keep at it and have a lil faith. And she turned out to be princess as well. My point is that no matter what life throws at you at this moment it is up to you to make lemonade out of lemons. Yes there are those who may not understand what it means to work for what you want. Then there are those who understand exactly what you are hustling for because they too have been in your shoes or are there with you.

Take me for last example, I have been with the same guy for 10 years and we are just now getting engaged. We have a 2 year old with unexplainable amount of energy and we’re both working to grow our own businesses. Now it hasn’t always been roses; I mean 10 years and we’re just now tying the knot, we’ve had a couple of miscarriages, we fought like divorce couples in the beginning, and our families have been asking about children and marriage this whole time. Not to even mention, being broke then making some money, not investing or managing it properly, to being extremely broke and dependent on family. But now I can truly say that I have found and I am living my fairytale. Now were we ready years ago to get married… definitely not we had to work out some kinks before we started on a solid foundation. We went through some things but I always had hope and a dream of what I wanted my life to be. Once both if our mindsets lined up perfectly we had a masterpiece. Everything happens for a reason in its own season. Remember that because it will make everything in life clear and make sense when your struggling.

Now I’m not saying that you need a partner to accomplish your fairytale. Your dream may only consist of you. Well who said you only had to have one dream? Look life is what you make it. Being truly happy and grateful for the small things will definitely show up when those major blessings start to fall info place for you. You have one life, why not live it as a lifestyle or fairytale you may just be surprised at what you find.

Thanks for reading……Simplybetty101

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ROAD TO CAREER: FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS

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So, your bored with your everyday life and you’re wondering have you wasted your life away? Well have you? I can say that I have been working since high school and I have worked in the food industry, retail, and even insurance but those are nothing compared to what I really want to do. I can honestly say out of all those different jobs there was only one where I really felt like I belonged; and that sector was a nonprofit museum that I worked for while in school getting my bachelors. The fact that I was able to learn so much about history and different arts that were just amazing it really didn’t feel like a nonprofit, but I was also able to learn a lot about how to run a nonprofit and the benefits of having such a magnificent attribute to the community.

So now that your thinking about it, you can see that there’s nothing really challenging you to the point where you’re doing your best every day. So, you’re just wasting your life away letting time go by and allowing someone else to live out your dreams. Short of, see you can have competition you just need to know what your niche is. Now I can go into a long ordeal about doing what makes you happy and you should be working towards that vision of yours and not complain about life because you’re not doing anything. But I’m not, you know that speech and you’ve heard that speech so me pounding it into your head is not going to make a difference if others have done so and failed. But I will give you some tips.

Now there is nothing that is hard if you put your mind to it and your heart. Sure, there will be some fails along the way, but they will be worth it, believe me. To help put things into perspective you can create a vision board like the video that I did — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk5GcPDtOTM – to help move things along. Now that you know your niche and even maybe the plan you will have to make that career a reality let’s get busy. You will have to stay focused, your career will be the most important thing in your life that you are pursuing for a while even if you have children. Because like most parents your career is going to fund the comfortable life that you want for your family and to be honest that will sometimes intel missing games and special moments with your family. But and yes there is a but, is this gamble of driven and focused attention the best action for your life and family if that pertains to you?

Now there can’t be all work and no play, you will burn out and that my friend is where the balanced life comes in. You will have to commit enough time and effort towards your career but also towards your family. Now if you do not have a family and it’s just you congrats you are in the stage of being plan out selfish. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. For example, the day I left for college my dad looked at me and told me that I don’t have kids and it’s just me so therefore it is ok to be selfish. See from the age eight all the way up unto I left for college my world evolved around my siblings and helping my parents out. Did I always like it, not, but it did give me a sense that I didn’t want children any time soon and I wanted to enjoy my new-found freedom! And so selfish I was for about eight years lol and I have no regrets.

Now though I was not doing my purpose in life during those years, I can say I was building my character to become the person I needed to be. I also understood that everything happens for a reason and things will happen in its season. Let me repeat… EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND IN ITS OWN SEASON. Now if your career was to run a fortune 500 company in your 30s and up, do you really think you may have been very responsible to handle a position in your 20s. I’ll let you think about that for a moment… see even if you have always known what you wanted to do and have worked so damn hard for. It will only come to you when you are completely ready for it; because think about it, how many times have you gotten what you thought was a blessing to then lose it and wonder why it fell apart. That’s because you weren’t ready for it.

Now that you have a better understanding for life you can turn that hard work and patience into a slight relief. Notice I said slight. Have you heard the saying the same thing it took to get her is the same thing it takes to keep her? Well if you haven’t you just did and if you have you know that it mostly applied to you working to keep your spouse. But why not apply it that concept to life? Besides your vision and dreams requires just the same amount of attention if not more.

So basically, don’t give up and keep working at it you never know the very thing you may be striving for may just be the bottom line for you. Just imagine there may be even more blessings and gifts for you that you can’t even imagine right now. Just keep the positive attitude and remember…everything happens for a reason and in its own season.

Thanks… SimplyBetty101

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FOCUS BOARD: A MAP TO YOUR VISION BOARD

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Hello readers, so you have an idea of what your life could or should be but what your currently in or doing is far from that dream… or is it?… So what you’re working constantly to make ends meet and barely getting by or maybe your living the comfortable life and have no worries, but is everyday fulfilling? Obviously not if you’re reading this and other blogs and articles on how to turn your life around but don’t worry I’ve been in the same position before and I have turned to advising and helping others.

So now that we have gotten your feelings out-of-the-way and pretty much made you reflect on life now it’s time to get serious. Now you have a vision of what you want in life and maybe even somewhat on how you are going to get there. But do you really have a concrete plan for that dream; I mean every detail down to the amount of time you would have to invest? Well I know you probably have done a vision board – you can watch my YouTube video on how to create a vision and focus board from link below — but do you have a focus board prepared? I mean do you have a plan that you can stick to on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis where you can check your progress and make sure your keeping on your path for a fulfilling life for yourself? Look, at this point there are no more excuses; you have made enough of those over your life which is why you’re looking for encouragement and motivation. Everyday when you wake up doing something you don’t want to that should be enough motivation right there.

I struggle with focus, hence is why it’s called a focus board for me, of course you can call it something else. But let’s be serious how many times did you have a dream or an idea but never acted upon it or finished it? But if you’re still breathing you still have time. Now this is the most important part of making a dream come to reality. However you want to keep up with your progress rather it’s a journal, focus board, reminders in your calendar via your phone and any other electronic device you have; do what works for you. Whatever the method is for you use it. It can even be a countdown on when your last day in that position to get you started. Maybe your tired of working for someone else or a company you no longer find value in. Heck it can even be a position within the company that you desire. Whatever your vision is believe me this is the best time to come up with a game plan to make that vision become reality.

There are all kinds of ways you can come up with a plan and stick to it. This is important because your going to need checks and balances. Yeap like the government…somewhat but better. You have to have something in place where you constantly check your vision and focus plan and balance it out with real life. Nothing is ever just given to you because you were born you. But the energy that you put out, the laws of attraction is going to help make your vision a reality. If you constantly look at your vision as an obstacle that can’t be done, you will end up sitting back and watching someone else live YOUR dream. But if you look at that vision as if it’s a project or problem you have to figure out or a different way of making it happen, then you my friend are attracting positive energy of completion. Look even if your vision leads to something else that was unexpected it just shows you that once you put forth effort doors of opportunity just open up for you.

Remember your life is a lifestyle regardless of what you want your life to be if it is for the betterment of your mind, body, and soul you can’t go wrong. I also guarantee you that the moment you start working towards your vision the overwhelming feeling of freedom will bestow upon you like it’s nobody’s business. And happiness will be an everyday thing that just comes without question. Now you have a reason and a plan for your vision board and not just a dream. Dreams you wake up from and visions can be spoken into existence.

Life is a Lifestyle… SimplyBetty101