Tag: simplybetty101

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MY BLOG INTRODUCTION: WHY BLOG?

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Welcome to my website, you’re probably wondering why are you reading this? I mean it’s only an introduction blog or maybe your trying to get started on blogging yourself. Well instead of reading through all those different blogs that tell you it’s only a couple or simple steps to get started, let me tell you the truth. Now, if you’re into setting up a website and think it is easy or already have about 10 to 15 blogs written out and ready to go. Then yes, it is easy but what about the money to get it started, if you are like me your funds a limited; now there are a lot of articles and blogs out there that a free but to set up your domain and on a website like Bluehost it will cost you about a $100 give or take depending on which packet you select. Now if you chose WordPress to start a blog channel then yes that is free to sign up but there are add-ons that can cost a lil of your time to sign up for all those free accounts. Pretty soon you may forget what all you have signed up for and not remember usernames and passwords.

Ok, so you get through signing up and registering your account, now you must design your website…ugh… wait what. Unless you know someone or you yourself are an expert in creating a website it will take you a while to figure out what everything means and how you want it to look.

Alright so now you have your account registered, your website is done, and you even have some blogs posted now who and how are you going to get people to read your blogs. Well my friend if you have a social media account, I would start advertising on those. Such as Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, and even Pinterest; yes, Pinterest you would be surprise how much traffic you can get just from your social media outlets than you realize besides its free advertising. Not to mention that all those social media accounts can be changed into business accounts so that you can potentially earn money and make a living from your advice.

I know it seems like a lot but so is starting any business or hobby if it is for you than do it there is nothing stopping you besides you. So, what you may not get the overnight success that you see people getting on a daily basis. The fact that you worked hard and put in the work believe me it will pay off someday. Take me for instance I’m posting this information for you and a helpful guide and a truthful realization that nothing is easy and if it does come easy, be cautious. I love helping others but sometimes I think my advice is either solely for me or that others may not just understand me. It’s just the people around me daily is on a different level in life than I am and possibly the person that needs my knowledge is searching for it on the web. Hence is why I started my own blog. Now I didn’t read any blogs that told me that it’s going to take patience and a lot of work to get it started but the fact that when I got my website launched it was wonderful. Being able to express myself via writing (typing technically) is such a wonderful feeling for me it’s almost like an adrenaline rush for me.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to discourage you in starting a blog I’m not even being endorsed to give you this advice. I’m just warning you the amount of time you would need to put into your venture. My blog for me is like a pressure release; your blog maybe more educational or entertaining whatever your niche is do it. Understanding your truth about yourself and going after it is just amazing, and I guarantee you that you would be so happy it’s ridiculous and people who are miserable around your will either help and strive for theirs or move on to someone else who is just as miserable.

Basically, when it comes to starting a blog you need to know what outcome you want people to get from your post, be passionate about it, and most importantly be prepared to put in the work. A blog is not something that can be setup and started in 30 mins if you are serious about it. I treat my blog like my job because presently it is a venture that I am interested in. But the content I post is true to myself and they are topics that I know a lot about rather its something from my past or present. Hope you guys enjoyed that venting session and don’t be discouraged be determined and focused.

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5 Goals for a Successful Relationship: 1. Communication, 2. Time, 3. Shared and Separate Interest, 4. Common Goals, and 5. Emotional Investment

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So, you’re in a relationship you really like this person and they could possibly be the one, you hope… but something is not right you’re always arguing and at times you feel as though you hate their guts and a good smack up against the head would be delightful. So why not just leave? The moment you try to step out of the door something always stops you, this my friend is a connection that you just can’t explain, and it compels you to stay. Now you must give this relationship at least one more try with your full attention and investment, but you don’t know what to work on. Being that I have been in a relationship with the same person for over 10 years, I can give some insight. And let me tell you the relationship started as if we were getting a divorce but luckily, we were smart enough to know something was wrong and that we wanted to work on it, so we talked it out and here we are 10 years later. Now the advice that I’m about to give is not something that can be done overnight and/or zap it’s all fixed; these are things that will take some time, patience, and most importantly understanding. So, let’s get started. The first thing you need to be mindful of is your communication with one another.
Being able to understand each other’s mind state is great knowledge for communication. In other words, if you and your partner are in an argument and suddenly one of you gets so flustered that you can’t speak or one of you are almost to the point where things are about to get a lil physical, STOP. This is where you want to make sure that you are aware of your spouse’s state of mind, de-escalating things beforehand by taking a step back, breath, and evaluate the situation. Even if you must pause the disagreement for a couple of moments for each of you to possibly write down what it is that is currently bothering you and what you would like from your partner as a possible resolution. Remember communication is not just for you to get your point across and that’s the end of the conversation, it’s a gateway for you to understand how your spouse thinks and operates as well as them understanding you in the same context. Now of course you are not going to agree on everything and you will have to make some compromises on both sides…let me repeat that last part. YOU BOTH WILL HAVE MAKE COMPROMISES FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. That is just a fact, but even some of the things that you dislike may over time be something that you may enjoy. For example, I love veggies and fruit, him on the other hand not so much, but over time with me introducing vegetables with dinner, constantly eating it around him and asking him to just try it. Now he’ll eat a salad, asparagus, cauliflower and amongst others; it also helps that he is a fitness nut. He still isn’t thrilled but at least he can tolerate it better. And you never know, something that you dislike may become a passion. It’s also important to take interest in things that excite one another, something that you each are passionate about. Remember when I stated that he was a fitness nut well me not so much. I hate the pain that you’re in, thinking about the pain that you’re going to be in from exercising, and the extreme pain from the next day, but as the years have gone by and I have looked at my body and the things that I have put in it, all that has changed. Now I am also a fitness nut more so on the things that my body consumes; still I work out because I want that bomb.com body now that my son is about to be two and I’ll be in my 30s before I know it. So be interested in what each other is saying it really does count.
Now that you got the communication down its time to put in…well… time. A relationship is like a job or a hobby that you are interested in, you must put in the time to get things right. Make it a priority of being together. Yes, I know you are like most people, you wake up, you go to work, you have a little social time, you come home, possibly cook, clean, or want that alone time to just relax and before you know it’s time for bed. You may even be too exhausted for any sexual activity (maybe…or you have no worries… but wait until kids come into the picture, those with kids understand) and bam you wake up and do it all over again. Now guess what, here is where the nagging as some men would call it or some women if you have that awesome guy who likes to spend time comes in. Each of you are so exhausted and worked up you can’t seem to fathom why your so upset and angry. Let me ask you this, do you have set time where it’s all about each other and to discuss why you’re in a relationship in the first place? Or do you have the set time such as date nights every week? If so, are you in such a routine that now date night even sucks? Well just like your job or hobby where you’re constantly doing and trying new things to perfect your craft, those same rules apply to your relationship. You have to understand as you get older your interest changes just as your partner’s does so in this case try something new, instead of dinner and a movie try horseback riding, going to a gun range (yes a lot of chicks dig that), spend the night at a fancy hotel as if your cheating on your partner with your partner, role play meeting each for the first time in public places, go to wine tastings, make your own beer, or a cooking class, something that is outside of the norm but that one or both of you are interested in doing. This in turn will keep the excitement and may also just turn on that excitement juice for some of you couples out there who may be in a dry spell. Remember time matters, you don’t want to look back on what you should’ve done when you can look at what you can do now.
Now that you got the communication going and your time on point…LOL it’s the perfect time for your shared and separate interest. Your shared interest is great to incorporate into spending time together and your separate interest is for when you have time apart. Yes, I know I said spend time together, but you also need that time apart as well, it’s just as important. Now that doesn’t mean you have to be apart from each other days and weeks at a time but let’s be real you need enough time by yourself to know yourself. How are you going to know if there is something that interest you if you never have time to think for yourself? Let’s be real say for instance for an entire week every waking moment someone has been around whether it was at work, at home, the car ride anywhere, etc. Now when you go on date night or in the company of others the moment things start to get a little boring you start… DAYDREAMING of things you could or want to be doing. Now are you thinking back to the time your mind started drifting and you don’t know what that person said it’s because you didn’t have adequate time to yourself to just think. This time away allows you think and have a different perspective on things that may have been giving so many troubles and for some reason you just couldn’t get it at the time, it’s basically allowing yourself and mind to reset and be prepared mentally and physically. Let me be clear, you don’t need that much time maybe a couple of hours or a day to yourself where no one is bothering you, and you can enjoy your favorite show with a glass of wine or a little online shopping, whatever you do that you can detox from the world is a good thing. Some of you already have a system, if you are like me working on my lunch break I break in my car, alone or I take a day about once a month just to myself and then I’m good, I can run like it’s no ones’ business.
Now that you have mastered the other steps it’s time to make sure you have common goals. Obviously, you are going to make sure that you and your partner are working towards the same goals in life. What I mean by that is, maybe you’re not married, and you want to make sure that you work out the major kinks before you take that big step and make your relationship official before friends, family, and religion (if that applies to you), gets in the way. Or maybe you both want to live together, now you must decide apartment, house, décor, and location. It could be that one of you is going back to school. If everything is fine the way, it is then what are the long-term goals? Now you see why I said communication, time, shared and separate interest are all important, because at this point this can make or break many relationships. Even if you have mastered everything else but your goals are completely different this can be the straw that broke the camel’s back, or it can be a new horizon for your relationship. Who says that you must give up on love just because your goals are different, it may just be that it’s not the right time for each other. Right person just wrong time, but if that urge, that feeling, that knot you get when your apart from each other for too long overwhelms you then you my friend are emotionally invested which leads to my last point.
Being emotionally invested means that you have given your all and now is the time to put those COMPROMISES in place, to communicate to each other how you feel about your goals and interest, list the pros and cons and take in your partners concern. My readers if you can make it through all these steps I promise you that your relationship will succeed and if it doesn’t then it wasn’t the right person because their interest or goals may not have been the same as yours. In relationships you will take a loss, but you will always be a winner with the person you were meant to be with. Yes, it is a lot of work but so is just living every day. Being yourself is a lot easier than trying to conform to someone that you are not just because you are in love with the idea of the person and not the person themselves…there’s a difference. It’s going to be hard but so is working for a company or doing a hobby. I don’t think you were just awesome-sauce when you first started, you had to pick up some skills and work at it and continue your craft, well the same is true with relationships you must keep at it and try. I know that maybe a lot of information to take but so is taking in someone else’s life and merging it with your own to make this wonderful power couple. So gradually working on these five goals of 1. Communication, 2. Time, 3. Shared and Separate Interest, 4. Common Goals, and 5. Emotional Investment, your relationship will thrive and other will just envy your happiness.

Thanks for reading…SimplyBetty101