Tag: social media

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Happiness Comes From Within Not Social Media

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The cost of trying to be famous for millennials is not worth selling all of your being. Like bro and sis it is not worth it in the end or the near future. Let’s look at the statistics, how many wealthy people can actually say they are truly happy with their life? I can tell you right now money cannot buy happiness but yes it can solve problems but mo’ money also means mo’ problems. There is more at stake when you have it all boo- ski believe me. Just think about, when you are at the bottom of the economic status you don’t have as much to loose as someone who has built an entire empire and is sitting at the top of the economic pyramid. At any moment they can fall to the bottom alongside you. The only difference between someone with wealth and someone without wealth is the amount of resources that come to you willingly.

Yes, that is the only difference… the resources. Because someone who has “it all,” will have all those who also have it all (and who don’t) trying to get to the hot topic of a person who is new on the scene. But what they don’t show you is when that person is no longer the new kid on the block and they are no longer the sought out after person. Have you ever notice that celebrities who don’t do something drastic every year will soon fade into the background and eventually you forget about them. Well, real life works the same boo. From your job, to church (yes church), sports, social life, you name it. Trying to be the best in all that you do is exhausting. Now I’m not saying striving for your best if that’s what you truly want, is a waste. Only do this if it comes naturally and if it brings you happiness. Some people literally thrive on competition and competitiveness. And that is cool boo boo for you. But some of us can only run on that fuel for so long. Some need a schedule and to carve out time in a day, week, or month. But regardless, finding your self worth is way more rewarding than trying to be glorified and glamourous for social media. See when you know your self worth and then try to be just yourself. You will attract the fame that you were not looking for along with wealth. And when that happens you are now working on your time instead of racing to please everyone else and stay in the spotlight.

Millennials we need to stop looking to social media for validation for our lives. To be honest if you’re not focusing on your self worth and internal wealth then man you’re going to lose and these devastating suicides and homicides will never stop or slow down. I mean with social media being the validation of the “it person,” it’s kind of hard for one to know how to validate themselves. To be honest it isn’t hard, start with meditating, reading, exercising (yes exercise), surround yourself with happy motivating people, seek out positive mentors, go to comedy clubs, volunteer, anything that can be beneficial to your well-being. Material things can only bring temporary happiness which means you still will fill empty if you’re not fulfilled mentally.

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Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder, Misery Loves Company

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They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder…but what if the beholder is you? Can you honestly say to yourself everyday that you love what you see…unconditionally? If you answered no to either of those questions than you need to re-evaluate your way of thinking. And realize you’re not the only one but there is hope, all is not lost my friend.

Now just because you’re not alone in this self love imagery, doesn’t mean that it is okay to seek love from others around you or go looking for it. See that’s not how love works. One has to really be okay and utilize all those features that either you don’t like or that everyone makes fun, and make it an advantage rather than a hindrance. That saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, needs to also say that you are the beholder. In this day and age being picked on and bullied doesn’t end at school it can also transpire over social media and the web. It is so easy for children and young adults to feel down and depressed because there is no off switch to the chaos. One can feel like their world is crumbling and life is better without them. And that is just sad and miserable.

But there is also another saying that people seem to forget…misery loves company. And since everyone is pumping out more misery it is easy for them to select those who just can’t catch a break and add to their suffering. Wow how self centered and pathetic we have gotten as a society to think that pain and suffering is enjoyable and will erase that whole in your heart. Confidence, compassion, love, self worth, and others are at an alarming low every time I look at my phone. I can only imagine how those who are still in grade school must feel. I mean the mass shootings and young adult/children suicide numbers should tell us something. But for people who are so consumed by our own world that we don’t even realize that the world doesn’t evolve around us, we evolve around it.

But there is a bright side…like all things that are bad there are opposites or ying and yang. Just like you wake up and feel depressed, lonely, heartless, worthless, etc you can also feel joy, love, compassion, self love, etc. and have everything that is sugar, spice, and nice (you see my rhymes…mad skills yo…lol). You know how you can get that awesome feeling? Just guess…come on think. Practice…what practice, practice what you say. Self love. Yes, start by practicing self love first and everything else will fall into place. See right now those who are preying on you are doing it because you don’t love yourself enough to not allow small or petty things like bullying bother you. You have to set your eyes on the prize… your future and what you’re going to be doing with it. Someone who is focused and driven about what they want in life doesn’t have time to worry about someone who is miserable and trying to add to that misery by including you. Yes, I know there are other forms of bullying like the physical portion but I’m referring to the mental part.

If your mind, spirit, and love for yourself is strong then instead of feeling hurt by others you will realize that you feel sorry for them and keep it moving. Now in order to practice self love you first have to remove yourself from the negative environment so that you can meditate and think for yourself. Not the dark thoughts but the happy thoughts of what could and will be of your dreams. You cannot allow others to control your emotions. Unplug and detox social media and socializing if you have to, so that you can have those moments to yourself. Once you start rationalizing and looking at things and situations in a different light you will soon see that there are other alternatives besides shooting, killing, harming yourself and others. Seek out knowledge and read books to engulf your thoughts and imagination to a place of happiness and then try to apply some of those feelings of self love outward. So yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beholder is you. Don’t let anyone try to stump on happiness and depress your soul. Lead by example and be extraordinary.

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Transitioning….?

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What if your transitioning into a new you whether it’s for work, new home, parenthood, or just phasing out if the party life. What is now the new norm for you? What else fun is there to do that is more your speed?

I’m currently going through that transitioning as I type this up. Now that I am married, a parent, and focused more on my career of being my own boss. Things that use to interest me just don’t do it for me anymore. The fact that I am more excited to buy decor and furniture for our new place than for me to go out and party, is way more exciting. Like a kid in a candy store excited. Going to family events and being in a calm environment that’s more controlled and stable is wonderful. Don’t get me wrong I love a good turnup just like the next person but only on my own terms with like minded people as well. When you surround yourself with people that are also transitioning, you find that very similar bond and growth that you may just need. A support group. This also means new friends.

But if you can transition with those you have been friends with it can be an awesome feeling and experience. But if you can’t, don’t give up so easily. So just because you are now in a different space than those you cherish doesn’t mean you have to abandon them. Try coaching or encouraging them to get on your level or higher. You may be surprised at what you find. Sometimes people just need others to lead so that they can fall suit. Not all leaders start off as leaders and not all followers will stay followers.

Thanks SimplyBetty101

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Everything Wedding: No Matter the Timeframe and Budget

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Love is beautiful and undeniable when it’s right. It seems as if the entire world has lined up and everything just makes perfect sense. Now as quickly as you fell in love you want to get hitch. But let’s be realistic weddings can be expensive even if your on a budget. Well here are a few ideas you can use when money is tight but you want your dream wedding.

1. Venue…now weather your planning your wedding in a year, a week, or somewhere in between you have to figure out where you want to hold your wedding. A cheap route would be justice of the peace or or local church. An even cheaper route is your backyard or living room. But you have to select a venue within your budget because that is going to add to your total cost. Even a public beach maybe a great idea or a destination wedding to get wedding and honeymoon out of the way.

2. Dress…there are plenty of ideas you can use for a wedding dress especially if your going with a theme. Your gown doesn’t have to cost $2000 or higher. Believe me there are plenty of gowns for only $100 or less. For instance take David Bridals a very well known bridal shop. Now you would think all of their gowns are expensive or above your price range. But if you know in January that you will be getting married before or right around wedding season then your in luck. Every year David Bridal has a sale to get rid of their old inventory in preparation for wedding season so dresses are usually $99 on average. An even better idea would be online via Amazon, Wish, or a smaller boutique for your gown. Just in case you want that “say yes to the dress experience” with your family. It’s all about digging around and using your resources. Maybe you can revamp a old dress into a wedding dress.

3. Rings…once again your faced with the deliema of going cheap or starting your marriage off with a debt if your funds aren’t that banging. Well there are other options. You can start at stores such as Zales or Kay jeweler at the beginning of the year. Because just like David Bridal they have to get rid of that old inventory. Now jewelry stores are a little different because new inventory comes in during the hot months. Think about how many times did you see jewelry commercials around Valentine’s, Christmas, and wedding season. This my friend is your opportunity to catch a sale. It is possible to get all 3 bands (engagement ring, wedding band, and the man’s wedding band) for under $1000. Now weather your looking for something cute or massive make sure you do research on rings before you go. For instance, looking up the different types of rings and diamonds and what everything means. Also you may check out alternatives such as lab created diamonds, moissanite, or refurbished rings. Especially if you are worried about those blood diamonds that you hear about on tv. Getting alternative diamond can save you a fortune and still have a beautiful ring for the fraction of the price.

4. Food…this is where you can break your bank account, literally. Knowing how many people you want to share your moment with is important because you pay for the food. Now some caterers have reasonable prices such as 100 people and below maybe can run a base price of $600 to $1000. When you have over 100 people especially the 150 to 200 range now the price can change to per person. Which can be anywhere from $15 per person to $50/$60 per person depending to the menu. Do not panic their are alternatives, if you absolutely know someone that can cook very well, ask them. Even if they haven’t catered before. Or the family can pitch in, buy and cook the food. Where there is a will there is a way.

5. Cake…now this can run you anywhere from $500 to over $1000 making sure you check out all of your options is important. Local grocery stores such as Wal-Mart, Kroger, Winn Dixie, and other chain stores sale wedding cakes at reasonable prices and are usually pretty good. If your looking for a Pinterest wedding cake then looking at professional bakeries and people who bake wedding cakes for a living are your best bet. Or can can even try a cutlinery student or school to take a swing at it; this route may also be light on your budget but you also risk a disater. Now depending on the baker your cake can be expensive and over your budget. But if your not concerned with the cake that much as far as looks then your local chain store or smaller cakes is a better option. Remember the higher the body count of people the more cake you will need to have.

5. Decorations…this part of the wedding can be the cheapest part of the budget. If you are very crafty then Dollar Tree, Hobby Lobby, and Michael’s can be your best friend. Also if you know a popular place that host weddings and/or events and usually throw away decorations, recycle them. Take ideas from Pinterest and use those cheap websites like Esty, Amazon, Party City, and etc. Of course this route will require your time but you will appreciate the craft that goes into making beautiful decorations.

Congratulations, on your new adventure of love. Planning a wedding can be overwhelming. But it can also be easy and light on the pockets. So is it possible to plan an entire wedding with just $500? Yes, it is you just have to use your resources around you. Good luck.

Thanks for reading….SimplyBetty101

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Tech “NO” Relationships

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In today’s society it’s so easy to meet new people and learn everything about them at the tip of your fingertips. But how well can you really get to know a person by reading their life story online instead of connecting with them on an intimate level once you meet them? Are we so disconnected socially that relationships are only composed of causal friendships and one night stands? Think about the last relationship you had. Did you spend more time communicating and keeping up with your partner electronically? Once you were with that person did you only have a short intimacy and then were consumed with tv and electronics? If you’re answering yes to most of these questions then your next relationship will be completely different after reading this.

Here are a couple of things you can try the next time you are around friends and family just to do a trail run to see how things go. Your next gathering instead of everyone having access to their phones ask them to put their phones on silent and enjoy a wine tasting or meet and greet. Now your probably wondering why you would do a meet and greet with family and friends of people you already know. But do you know them based on the info from online or them telling you directly? Having a meal with friends and family to talk about things that are happening that week or that have already happened gives you a sense of how people really feel. This also enhances your abilities to read body language and gauge people emotions. You can express thoughts without someone taking it in a text the wrong way. Being connected mentally to a person allows you to understand people on a level that you can never get electronically.

Now your probably saying that you’re not always on your phone. But seriously you do. You know how I know you do? Because either you or someone in the group is always posting online for the world to see how much fun your having. But why does it matter to the world of how much fun you have? See we’re so consumed with what everyone is doing on a constant basis that we miss the real life connections and experience right in front of us. Think about it, how many missing persons photos do you come across on your timeline? How many people you know even as young as 5 years old don’t have cellphones? How do we miss the creepy person that has been following you for the last 3 or 4 stores? Or the kid that may just be a little overweight because they rather play video games or be on electronics than to go outside? It’s because we have decided that all the info we need is via online even a person that you have never met. The first thing people do is look up that persons social media account; rather its Instagram, Facebook, twitter (maybe not), or Snapchat. How many blind dates have you been on and when you met the person they were nothing like their profile? People can create so many lies and catfish others into believing that lie. But if we sharpened our communication skills outside of our electronics then there wouldn’t be such a disconnect.

Meeting people on a social level can be exciting and thrilling. You will be surprised on how well your communication skills have developed. That fright that you have standing up for yourself can disappear. Giving a speech that you wrote out so perfectly wouldn’t be so hard if your social skills were better. The next blind date that you go won’t be so nerve-racking if you are able to read that person’s body language. You may be able to tell if they are actually into you instead checking their social media every few seconds. Knowing if a person just wants a causal relationship or if they actually want a more deep and serious relationship is helpful.

So next date or family and friend event you have. Make a rule of no phones unless it’s an emergency or you can say that no post can be posted. Whatever the rule is to make the day or event a more tech “no” night….lol. Believe me it’s beneficial for everyone involved. You may also find out that you don’t like people who you call friends as much as you thought you did. Or it may draw you closer. Remember secrets and personal info should never be shared over any type of electronic device, that’s called evidence. Look all I’m saying is that it is nice to get to know a person for who they really are, not who they want to be via social media. You can be catfished even if you have known that person for years. People can change over time. If it’s your spouse have date night without electronics. You can do dinner, bike rides, fair/carnival, or even walks together. Ask each other about short-term and long-term goals. What is their aspiration? What is your aspiration? Just remember this instead of always trying to capture the moment, be in the moment. The world does not always have to know.

Thanks for reading…..SimplyBetty101

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MY BLOG INTRODUCTION: WHY BLOG?

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Welcome to my website, you’re probably wondering why are you reading this? I mean it’s only an introduction blog or maybe your trying to get started on blogging yourself. Well instead of reading through all those different blogs that tell you it’s only a couple or simple steps to get started, let me tell you the truth. Now, if you’re into setting up a website and think it is easy or already have about 10 to 15 blogs written out and ready to go. Then yes, it is easy but what about the money to get it started, if you are like me your funds a limited; now there are a lot of articles and blogs out there that a free but to set up your domain and on a website like Bluehost it will cost you about a $100 give or take depending on which packet you select. Now if you chose WordPress to start a blog channel then yes that is free to sign up but there are add-ons that can cost a lil of your time to sign up for all those free accounts. Pretty soon you may forget what all you have signed up for and not remember usernames and passwords.

Ok, so you get through signing up and registering your account, now you must design your website…ugh… wait what. Unless you know someone or you yourself are an expert in creating a website it will take you a while to figure out what everything means and how you want it to look.

Alright so now you have your account registered, your website is done, and you even have some blogs posted now who and how are you going to get people to read your blogs. Well my friend if you have a social media account, I would start advertising on those. Such as Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, and even Pinterest; yes, Pinterest you would be surprise how much traffic you can get just from your social media outlets than you realize besides its free advertising. Not to mention that all those social media accounts can be changed into business accounts so that you can potentially earn money and make a living from your advice.

I know it seems like a lot but so is starting any business or hobby if it is for you than do it there is nothing stopping you besides you. So, what you may not get the overnight success that you see people getting on a daily basis. The fact that you worked hard and put in the work believe me it will pay off someday. Take me for instance I’m posting this information for you and a helpful guide and a truthful realization that nothing is easy and if it does come easy, be cautious. I love helping others but sometimes I think my advice is either solely for me or that others may not just understand me. It’s just the people around me daily is on a different level in life than I am and possibly the person that needs my knowledge is searching for it on the web. Hence is why I started my own blog. Now I didn’t read any blogs that told me that it’s going to take patience and a lot of work to get it started but the fact that when I got my website launched it was wonderful. Being able to express myself via writing (typing technically) is such a wonderful feeling for me it’s almost like an adrenaline rush for me.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to discourage you in starting a blog I’m not even being endorsed to give you this advice. I’m just warning you the amount of time you would need to put into your venture. My blog for me is like a pressure release; your blog maybe more educational or entertaining whatever your niche is do it. Understanding your truth about yourself and going after it is just amazing, and I guarantee you that you would be so happy it’s ridiculous and people who are miserable around your will either help and strive for theirs or move on to someone else who is just as miserable.

Basically, when it comes to starting a blog you need to know what outcome you want people to get from your post, be passionate about it, and most importantly be prepared to put in the work. A blog is not something that can be setup and started in 30 mins if you are serious about it. I treat my blog like my job because presently it is a venture that I am interested in. But the content I post is true to myself and they are topics that I know a lot about rather its something from my past or present. Hope you guys enjoyed that venting session and don’t be discouraged be determined and focused.