Tag: spankings

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Family Time: Values and Morals

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As I sit here thinking of things to talk about there is only one thing that comes to mind… my family. Most importantly my son and the values, morals, and life lessons of what will shape him to become a man one day. Though I have done some silly things in my twenties (not to give away my age… I’m still there barely) that I am currently trying to fix for the betterment of our lives. There are some things that were very beneficial to me and molding me to the person I am today.

Being a parent is a wonderful thing and a grand experience, but it can also be a terrifying one as well. Being responsible for a person that will have an impact on humanity in any kind of way is a scary thought. There are all kinds of what ifs and did I do it correctly that just come at you like a boulder. Sure, you think about getting your child into the best schools, raising them in the safest neighborhood that you can afford, giving them the luxuries that you never had growing up, and most importantly making sure you instill those main core values that a person would need to function in this world. In my previous blog Sour-Patch Kids: What Discipline Action Should Be Taken If Any? I touched about giving a child discipline through spanking and asked if it was a good idea? But in this blog, I want the subject to be a more fun and energetic vibe. Instead of asking questions, I will just go over some things that I do with my son and why I create that participation with him.

First, what is important to me when it comes to my son? And the answer to that question is simply… time. Spending time with my son in any kind of way is important, including the time apart. See this little person that developed and grew from conception until birth inside of me, must learn about the world in the best way I know how to teach him. Example, when we go to the zoo and see different animals that is a way for him to learn perception and exploration. Letting him know that the world is way bigger than what he sees daily and that his everyday characters that he sees on tv are inspired by real life animals. It also teaches him different vocabulary and restraint. See I have a toddler that is still developing verbal skills so exposing him to different aspects of the zoo where he can physically touch, smell, and interact with animals gets him excited to learn and see more. These trips and other fun activities are also considered bonding time together. This is also where body language is can be at its finest. Think about it, how many times have you been watching your child to then realize for some odd reason your child is about to make a mad dash somewhere, or about to fall and hurt themselves. It’s like you have a sixth sense of what is about to happen and how terrible it can be.

Being in public teaches your child control and restraint because at home lets face it they run everything or just with no boundaries and you’re not on edge as much. Same thing with playtime, all the important factors of life are taught and learned through your child’s playtime. It may seem small in your eyes right now but think about it. Your child can hit your nerves and your’re almost at your breaking point. But your child learns those subtle cues of I’m about to get in trouble let me stop. Or they smile with a grimace and instead test my parents… lol.
Let’s face it kids are in their learning stages from the moment they are born until the day they decide to completely learn on their own. So, to sum everything up I love the time I get with my child. It’s a learning experience for him that teaches him core values, morals, body language, importance of family, and a list of other things.

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Sour-Patch Kids: What Discipline Action Should Be Taken If Any?

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Is it me or do kids really act like those sour patch gummies you see in the commercial.  I mean one minute I’m so aggravated with my child either peeing on the floor after he sat on his pot for  20 minutes or throwing his food all over  the place after he is finish eating or my favorite smacking me in the head with one of those hot wheels.  But then something beautiful happens and all is forgiven that quickly.  As if there isn’t a puddle  or number 2 on the floors that you just mopped.  It’s like really really  hard to stay mad at him.  And then the chaos starts again.

What is it with children that they can sense at such an early age that mommy is  about to have a breakdown.  Now I do understand that not all kids have this sense or they do and just don’t care.  And to those moms I am truly sorry and just try to think of their sleep time to pass the time.  But to others that have those perfect little angels when mommy is sick or ill or just sick and tired of  yelling, please that feeling we get right when we’re about to explode  and somehow it disappears.  Or we  do  explode and your child has a completely different personality afterwards.  What is that feeling?  Because if  that feeling gets my child to act  right immediately afterwards every time I need  that 24/7.  I mean but why why do I have to get to that point before my child realizes okay mommy is about to explode for my child to act right.  I mean is this all apart of the test me I am terrible two stage.  And if so who in their wrong mind started it, I would love to talk to them personally.

Don’t get me wrong I love my little bundle to infinity and beyond but at times I want to old days were spankings weren’t against the law, not neccesarliy against the law but for those who just think it’s child abuse.  I mean I got them, of course I didn’t misbehave until I was older like most girls, and I turned out great.  I am a two-time college graduate, I didn’t have my child until I was 27 going on 28, and we’re in the process of buying a house and I will be married next month.  So in retrospect I think I did pretty good.  Now granted I didn’t do everything by the olden days book like get married, have kids, and stay at home with them.  Sorry I’m not that perfect.  But still at least some discipline was good.  Now I’m not saying child abuse, believe me perverts and wicked people there is a big, huge difference but some redirection would help.  Not all children learn discipline on the same level.  Think about, your child may learn from time outs while another may learn from getting toys, tv, and favorites taken away.  But what about those who don’t comprehend neither.  Should a good pop on the hands be such a bad thing if it gets that child to remember that if I do this particular thing then I will get popped on the hands.  And if that child doesn’t want to be popped then they won’t do it again?

Listen I may not be a psychologist or a child therapist but I do understand that all kids can’t be taught the same way.  For instance, my child doesn’t sit still for long periods of time not even 5 minutes unless it’s his favorite show and that doesn’t always work.  So time-outs are not going to work.  And I don’t want him to think that every time he acts up he is rewarded with his favorites.  And taking his toys hasn’t worked either because he hasn’t connected the misbehave and discipline because he is too young.  He has learned a lot from trail and error but I don’t want him to learn everything that way.  I mean there are just somethings he can’t learn that way, such as playing with a knife or scissors, electric socket, throwing the ball at a big screen tv mounted or sitting above him.  Or even trying to pet everyone’s dog or my favorite that everyone has dealt with, taking your child out of the car and before you can position them correctly they snatch and run towards traffic.  Even if you’re in a parking lot or garage, the shear fear that overcomes you in that moment will give you a heart-attack.  So in those moments how would you correct it?  Yelling at them won’t work, hell you do that on a daily basis in the house, store, car, and etc.  Of course, trying to scare them won’t work because I would imagine that some toddlers haven’t grasp the fear of everything just yet.  So in that instance would a pop on the hand or pull-up or bottom if your child is potty trained, help?

This is a topic that will never have a correct or wrong answer.  It will be debated until the end of time.  My discipline growing up went through stages, I would get grounded and have things taken away and I did get spankings growing up.  All which have shaped and molded me to the person I am today.  Now my fiancé didn’t get spankings he got more of the “I’m disappointed in you,” and he too has turned out just fine.  My cousins grew-up with trail  and error and all of us are either business owners, entrepreneurs, high status economically, or perfectly happy with life.  We all motivate each other to greatness and logically think about things with consequences before we act.  Are we perfect human beings?  Nope, we all had downfalls but those lessons that were taught growing up helped us.  So my point on it is, I’m not against it as long as it is done correctly, and I know not all children need that form of correction.  And while some children can function on a strict schedule there are those who like to throw schedules out of the window, like mine.  So trying to find a balance and trying different things doesn’t make you a bad parent it just means your trying to be the best parent you can possible be for your children.  There is no exact manual for children their all completely different individuals.  And their process of thinking is different, think about it.   I’m pretty sure you get upset when people group you and your siblings or someone you know in the same category all the time.  Even though would like to be treated and viewed as an individual, I can only imagine with twins and multiples.   That is where it is more evident to be your own person.

But I am interested in what you guys think so please comment below.  And if you are in a profession that help discipline children or correct a child’s mental capacity due to stupid and unnecessary abuse also comment.  Please try to see each other’s point of view because remember every child and person is different and should be treated as such.