Tag: Time

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Thank You Notes/Cards: Are They Necessary?

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If you are reading this blog you’re wondering, why should you send out thank you cards for an event that you put together and paid for?  Well that question popped in my head as well after my wedding and after people were wondering why they haven’t received any 2 months after my big day.  And for some the answer is simple, yes, because it’s tradition.  But is there a deeper meaning to it than just tradition?  I mean who started this notion and why do I have to spend more money and time.  And the simple answer really is, think about those who actually took the time out of their busy schedules to help you celebrate your union, or whatever event it is that you are planning.

Think about it, all those who traveled near and far probably had better things to do then to go to a store, buy you a gift, get dressed, and come see your joyous occasion.  When I think back on my wedding my husband’s family stayed nowhere near where the wedding was taking place and not to mention I had relatives coming from the East and West coast via plane and car just to see a couple who had been together for 10 years already and created life.  It was a celebration for them as well as us.  Granted the last thing I wanted to do was sit down and hand write thank you cards with my horrible 7th grade handwriting.  But it makes one feel special when you thank them for anything that they do.  You never know how that person is feeling that day.  Beside my thank you notes I made sure to make up for the lack of penmanship and not remembering what everyone and who bought us something.  So therefore I included pictures from the big day of us, which I know some family members will enjoy.  Especially since I am horrible about keeping in contact with people throughout the year.  Yes, I know I am a horrible person.  I will get my life together and I’m working on it.

But just to give you a few pointers, once you open a gift make sure you write down who bought what.  This way each thank you note will be personalized.  Also if you know you are horrible with timing you can always have pre-made thank you notes, when someone gives a gift at the wedding they get a thank you note.  My cousin told me about that trick after my wedding was done.  Another way to remember thank you notes, is to have only electronic gifts.  Such as, Bed Bath and Beyond, Amazon, or whatever your favorite place to shop.  That way each registry tells you who bought it and it is delivered straight to your address.  This option also helps with addresses since everyone may not sign the guest book or have legible penmanship.  Of course, these methods do not apply to elders who are not tech savvy, so old-school it is.  Also there are ways you can send electronic thank you notes via email.  The point is, it is a tradition and thoughtful gesture.  Well I hope this helped you, remember your not sending thank you notes just to spend more money but to show gratitude to family, friends, and haters that helped you celebrate your occasion.

 

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

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Exhaustion: Mental, Physical, and Emotional Toll

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Exhaustion can set in when you least expect it and be an inconvenience. If you have been running on excitement and adrenaline for the past couple of hours, days, weeks, or whatever your time span is. Once that excitement wears off and your mood starts to change so does your energy. And that’s when exhaustion sets in.

It’s not easy to predict or prepare for when your busy and only thinking of the happy ending. But what we don’t take into account is the actual time it takes to get to that happy ending. For example, how many times have you planned something to the second of how its suppose to go rather it’s a party or you’re getting ready for one and things don’t go as plan. Or you end up being late because something got thrown off. Whatever the reason time was not on your side. Same for exhaustion.

You can be running and running on whatever energy that is getting the job done and then… BOOM. Time shows up and you’re out of it. Or if you did get it all done enjoying it will either never come or come later after you have recouped from the exhaustion. I know people say pace yourself and don’t rush. But when you live in a time sensitive world not much can be paced.

Now of course, most of us would just take something before that feeling of sit down kicks in. Like an energy drink, coffee, or for you illegal or maybe legal users something like a recreational drug can help. I know you have seen the caffeine pills sold at the gas stations by the register. But if we are always hyped up on adrenaline then there is something that can make us sit down. If you haven’t figured it out yet, here’s a clue the name is in the title. Yeap, good old friend exhaustion again. See even if you’re hyped up on caffeine to help keep you going, unfortunately we are not Energizer bunnies. Ladies and gents your body will crash. Some in an okay stable way at home or close and the others in an ambulance. See your mind might be ready but there is only so much the body can take. And believe me when it breaks it breaks people to a full fledge halt.

So be mindful of your limits because exhaustion can come in any form. Rather its physical, mental, or even spiritual it will take you out and force you to rest. Even if you’re not ready or don’t want to. Just make sure you’re paying attention to your needs and not just your wants. Thanks… SimplyBetty101

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Over-staying Your Welcome

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So today I was wondering how long have I been here at my cousins house? Even though I’m only staying here to find a place for my own family, I was hoping that it would be a quick 2 to 3 day stay. But thinking on it I have been here a full 7 day week. Though I know she doesn’t mind I feel like I’m being a leech. Which is why I hope she never sees this post…lol the amount of killer eye she will give me is undeniable.

Look I appreciate the help and guidance but if I was in her position there is a limit for me. Now by no means am I one if those family members who doesn’t help nor clean up behind themselves. I have been fussed at for cleaning the kitchen and putting a trash bag in the trash can. Not that is was a real “don’t touch nothing,” her house is ran under certain rules. Also not to mention she is a bit OCD, she likes things done a certain way. And this is where my understanding comes in.

If it were me I do appreciate the help and love the company but at some point I would want to get back to my regular scheduled program of how I like my house ran. Children are still in school here which means they have rules on a daily basis and one cannot come in and throw off that schedule. One must be in stealth mode at all times and go with the flow. All while trying not to upset the balance of everyday life. And still be comfortable to do what I need for my family as well. I like the idea of being in the house with a kitchen that has love and laughter. But I also know that it is not my house and this is what I’m looking for. I love the uncoditional love and support my family provides but there comes a time when a girl just wants some alone time. Especially before hubby gets here.

So with that being said, people if you are staying with a friend or relative please understand body language and don’t over stay your welcome. Especially if your able to stay somewhere else. Now if you are in desperate need, then your circumstances are different. But please be less of a burden as possible. And if you just have that family that loves company then this does not apply to you as well. As always thanks for reading … SimplyBetty101

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Moving In and On: House and Career Dreams

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Looking for a change in life? Rather you’re looking to transition to a beautiful new home, career, or both remember not all transitions are easy. And not all will be on your timeline either. Don’t get discourage. Look at it as a challenge or hurdle that you have to move out of your way.

Not every door will open when you want it to and not all doors lead you to where you expect. Somethings have to be taken with a blind leap of faith and persistence. Think of life as a child that doesn’t listen all of the time. With children you will have to have the patience of a person who has all the time in the world and have your anger in check at all times. Plus you also have to keep explaining and instructing children to do what you need. The same rules apply to your potential home or career. Children are put into our lives to test us and the world has the same code of life. It’s all just a test that you will ace. Yes you may have to take the test multiple times until you pass it but you’ll get there. So don’t be discourage when someone is trying to block a blessing from you. Remember whatever is for you no man can take from you no matter how hard they try.

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101

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Everything Wedding: No Matter the Timeframe and Budget

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Love is beautiful and undeniable when it’s right. It seems as if the entire world has lined up and everything just makes perfect sense. Now as quickly as you fell in love you want to get hitch. But let’s be realistic weddings can be expensive even if your on a budget. Well here are a few ideas you can use when money is tight but you want your dream wedding.

1. Venue…now weather your planning your wedding in a year, a week, or somewhere in between you have to figure out where you want to hold your wedding. A cheap route would be justice of the peace or or local church. An even cheaper route is your backyard or living room. But you have to select a venue within your budget because that is going to add to your total cost. Even a public beach maybe a great idea or a destination wedding to get wedding and honeymoon out of the way.

2. Dress…there are plenty of ideas you can use for a wedding dress especially if your going with a theme. Your gown doesn’t have to cost $2000 or higher. Believe me there are plenty of gowns for only $100 or less. For instance take David Bridals a very well known bridal shop. Now you would think all of their gowns are expensive or above your price range. But if you know in January that you will be getting married before or right around wedding season then your in luck. Every year David Bridal has a sale to get rid of their old inventory in preparation for wedding season so dresses are usually $99 on average. An even better idea would be online via Amazon, Wish, or a smaller boutique for your gown. Just in case you want that “say yes to the dress experience” with your family. It’s all about digging around and using your resources. Maybe you can revamp a old dress into a wedding dress.

3. Rings…once again your faced with the deliema of going cheap or starting your marriage off with a debt if your funds aren’t that banging. Well there are other options. You can start at stores such as Zales or Kay jeweler at the beginning of the year. Because just like David Bridal they have to get rid of that old inventory. Now jewelry stores are a little different because new inventory comes in during the hot months. Think about how many times did you see jewelry commercials around Valentine’s, Christmas, and wedding season. This my friend is your opportunity to catch a sale. It is possible to get all 3 bands (engagement ring, wedding band, and the man’s wedding band) for under $1000. Now weather your looking for something cute or massive make sure you do research on rings before you go. For instance, looking up the different types of rings and diamonds and what everything means. Also you may check out alternatives such as lab created diamonds, moissanite, or refurbished rings. Especially if you are worried about those blood diamonds that you hear about on tv. Getting alternative diamond can save you a fortune and still have a beautiful ring for the fraction of the price.

4. Food…this is where you can break your bank account, literally. Knowing how many people you want to share your moment with is important because you pay for the food. Now some caterers have reasonable prices such as 100 people and below maybe can run a base price of $600 to $1000. When you have over 100 people especially the 150 to 200 range now the price can change to per person. Which can be anywhere from $15 per person to $50/$60 per person depending to the menu. Do not panic their are alternatives, if you absolutely know someone that can cook very well, ask them. Even if they haven’t catered before. Or the family can pitch in, buy and cook the food. Where there is a will there is a way.

5. Cake…now this can run you anywhere from $500 to over $1000 making sure you check out all of your options is important. Local grocery stores such as Wal-Mart, Kroger, Winn Dixie, and other chain stores sale wedding cakes at reasonable prices and are usually pretty good. If your looking for a Pinterest wedding cake then looking at professional bakeries and people who bake wedding cakes for a living are your best bet. Or can can even try a cutlinery student or school to take a swing at it; this route may also be light on your budget but you also risk a disater. Now depending on the baker your cake can be expensive and over your budget. But if your not concerned with the cake that much as far as looks then your local chain store or smaller cakes is a better option. Remember the higher the body count of people the more cake you will need to have.

5. Decorations…this part of the wedding can be the cheapest part of the budget. If you are very crafty then Dollar Tree, Hobby Lobby, and Michael’s can be your best friend. Also if you know a popular place that host weddings and/or events and usually throw away decorations, recycle them. Take ideas from Pinterest and use those cheap websites like Esty, Amazon, Party City, and etc. Of course this route will require your time but you will appreciate the craft that goes into making beautiful decorations.

Congratulations, on your new adventure of love. Planning a wedding can be overwhelming. But it can also be easy and light on the pockets. So is it possible to plan an entire wedding with just $500? Yes, it is you just have to use your resources around you. Good luck.

Thanks for reading….SimplyBetty101

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Life Can Be A Fairytale: If You Dream It and Allow It

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So, your cuddled up on the couch, watching your favorite fairytale movie, and wondering wow I wish life was like that. Well why not make it an reality? The only thing standing in your way of your dream man, lifestyle, or career is you honey. See most of us think that fairytales don’t happen in real life but they do because those who chose to make it an reality did it.

Take Cinderella for instance, she didn’t have it all peaches and wonderland. No at the beginning it was fun but once tragedy struck again and again she was dealt some bad hands. But that didn’t stop her from imagining and keeping her hopes up. And looked what happened she became queen. I mean she was living in rags talking to rodents and animals all day. I mean most of us would call that batshit crazy and turn the other cheek. But homegirl had dreams and hope, that became a reality.

Let’s take another one, Tiana from Princess and the Frog for example. She was turned into a frog when she was already working hard to save up and open an restaurant. They even had a song stating you got to keep at it and have a lil faith. And she turned out to be princess as well. My point is that no matter what life throws at you at this moment it is up to you to make lemonade out of lemons. Yes there are those who may not understand what it means to work for what you want. Then there are those who understand exactly what you are hustling for because they too have been in your shoes or are there with you.

Take me for last example, I have been with the same guy for 10 years and we are just now getting engaged. We have a 2 year old with unexplainable amount of energy and we’re both working to grow our own businesses. Now it hasn’t always been roses; I mean 10 years and we’re just now tying the knot, we’ve had a couple of miscarriages, we fought like divorce couples in the beginning, and our families have been asking about children and marriage this whole time. Not to even mention, being broke then making some money, not investing or managing it properly, to being extremely broke and dependent on family. But now I can truly say that I have found and I am living my fairytale. Now were we ready years ago to get married… definitely not we had to work out some kinks before we started on a solid foundation. We went through some things but I always had hope and a dream of what I wanted my life to be. Once both if our mindsets lined up perfectly we had a masterpiece. Everything happens for a reason in its own season. Remember that because it will make everything in life clear and make sense when your struggling.

Now I’m not saying that you need a partner to accomplish your fairytale. Your dream may only consist of you. Well who said you only had to have one dream? Look life is what you make it. Being truly happy and grateful for the small things will definitely show up when those major blessings start to fall info place for you. You have one life, why not live it as a lifestyle or fairytale you may just be surprised at what you find.

Thanks for reading……Simplybetty101

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5 Goals for a Successful Relationship: 1. Communication, 2. Time, 3. Shared and Separate Interest, 4. Common Goals, and 5. Emotional Investment

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So, you’re in a relationship you really like this person and they could possibly be the one, you hope… but something is not right you’re always arguing and at times you feel as though you hate their guts and a good smack up against the head would be delightful. So why not just leave? The moment you try to step out of the door something always stops you, this my friend is a connection that you just can’t explain, and it compels you to stay. Now you must give this relationship at least one more try with your full attention and investment, but you don’t know what to work on. Being that I have been in a relationship with the same person for over 10 years, I can give some insight. And let me tell you the relationship started as if we were getting a divorce but luckily, we were smart enough to know something was wrong and that we wanted to work on it, so we talked it out and here we are 10 years later. Now the advice that I’m about to give is not something that can be done overnight and/or zap it’s all fixed; these are things that will take some time, patience, and most importantly understanding. So, let’s get started. The first thing you need to be mindful of is your communication with one another.
Being able to understand each other’s mind state is great knowledge for communication. In other words, if you and your partner are in an argument and suddenly one of you gets so flustered that you can’t speak or one of you are almost to the point where things are about to get a lil physical, STOP. This is where you want to make sure that you are aware of your spouse’s state of mind, de-escalating things beforehand by taking a step back, breath, and evaluate the situation. Even if you must pause the disagreement for a couple of moments for each of you to possibly write down what it is that is currently bothering you and what you would like from your partner as a possible resolution. Remember communication is not just for you to get your point across and that’s the end of the conversation, it’s a gateway for you to understand how your spouse thinks and operates as well as them understanding you in the same context. Now of course you are not going to agree on everything and you will have to make some compromises on both sides…let me repeat that last part. YOU BOTH WILL HAVE MAKE COMPROMISES FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE RELATIONSHIP. That is just a fact, but even some of the things that you dislike may over time be something that you may enjoy. For example, I love veggies and fruit, him on the other hand not so much, but over time with me introducing vegetables with dinner, constantly eating it around him and asking him to just try it. Now he’ll eat a salad, asparagus, cauliflower and amongst others; it also helps that he is a fitness nut. He still isn’t thrilled but at least he can tolerate it better. And you never know, something that you dislike may become a passion. It’s also important to take interest in things that excite one another, something that you each are passionate about. Remember when I stated that he was a fitness nut well me not so much. I hate the pain that you’re in, thinking about the pain that you’re going to be in from exercising, and the extreme pain from the next day, but as the years have gone by and I have looked at my body and the things that I have put in it, all that has changed. Now I am also a fitness nut more so on the things that my body consumes; still I work out because I want that bomb.com body now that my son is about to be two and I’ll be in my 30s before I know it. So be interested in what each other is saying it really does count.
Now that you got the communication down its time to put in…well… time. A relationship is like a job or a hobby that you are interested in, you must put in the time to get things right. Make it a priority of being together. Yes, I know you are like most people, you wake up, you go to work, you have a little social time, you come home, possibly cook, clean, or want that alone time to just relax and before you know it’s time for bed. You may even be too exhausted for any sexual activity (maybe…or you have no worries… but wait until kids come into the picture, those with kids understand) and bam you wake up and do it all over again. Now guess what, here is where the nagging as some men would call it or some women if you have that awesome guy who likes to spend time comes in. Each of you are so exhausted and worked up you can’t seem to fathom why your so upset and angry. Let me ask you this, do you have set time where it’s all about each other and to discuss why you’re in a relationship in the first place? Or do you have the set time such as date nights every week? If so, are you in such a routine that now date night even sucks? Well just like your job or hobby where you’re constantly doing and trying new things to perfect your craft, those same rules apply to your relationship. You have to understand as you get older your interest changes just as your partner’s does so in this case try something new, instead of dinner and a movie try horseback riding, going to a gun range (yes a lot of chicks dig that), spend the night at a fancy hotel as if your cheating on your partner with your partner, role play meeting each for the first time in public places, go to wine tastings, make your own beer, or a cooking class, something that is outside of the norm but that one or both of you are interested in doing. This in turn will keep the excitement and may also just turn on that excitement juice for some of you couples out there who may be in a dry spell. Remember time matters, you don’t want to look back on what you should’ve done when you can look at what you can do now.
Now that you got the communication going and your time on point…LOL it’s the perfect time for your shared and separate interest. Your shared interest is great to incorporate into spending time together and your separate interest is for when you have time apart. Yes, I know I said spend time together, but you also need that time apart as well, it’s just as important. Now that doesn’t mean you have to be apart from each other days and weeks at a time but let’s be real you need enough time by yourself to know yourself. How are you going to know if there is something that interest you if you never have time to think for yourself? Let’s be real say for instance for an entire week every waking moment someone has been around whether it was at work, at home, the car ride anywhere, etc. Now when you go on date night or in the company of others the moment things start to get a little boring you start… DAYDREAMING of things you could or want to be doing. Now are you thinking back to the time your mind started drifting and you don’t know what that person said it’s because you didn’t have adequate time to yourself to just think. This time away allows you think and have a different perspective on things that may have been giving so many troubles and for some reason you just couldn’t get it at the time, it’s basically allowing yourself and mind to reset and be prepared mentally and physically. Let me be clear, you don’t need that much time maybe a couple of hours or a day to yourself where no one is bothering you, and you can enjoy your favorite show with a glass of wine or a little online shopping, whatever you do that you can detox from the world is a good thing. Some of you already have a system, if you are like me working on my lunch break I break in my car, alone or I take a day about once a month just to myself and then I’m good, I can run like it’s no ones’ business.
Now that you have mastered the other steps it’s time to make sure you have common goals. Obviously, you are going to make sure that you and your partner are working towards the same goals in life. What I mean by that is, maybe you’re not married, and you want to make sure that you work out the major kinks before you take that big step and make your relationship official before friends, family, and religion (if that applies to you), gets in the way. Or maybe you both want to live together, now you must decide apartment, house, décor, and location. It could be that one of you is going back to school. If everything is fine the way, it is then what are the long-term goals? Now you see why I said communication, time, shared and separate interest are all important, because at this point this can make or break many relationships. Even if you have mastered everything else but your goals are completely different this can be the straw that broke the camel’s back, or it can be a new horizon for your relationship. Who says that you must give up on love just because your goals are different, it may just be that it’s not the right time for each other. Right person just wrong time, but if that urge, that feeling, that knot you get when your apart from each other for too long overwhelms you then you my friend are emotionally invested which leads to my last point.
Being emotionally invested means that you have given your all and now is the time to put those COMPROMISES in place, to communicate to each other how you feel about your goals and interest, list the pros and cons and take in your partners concern. My readers if you can make it through all these steps I promise you that your relationship will succeed and if it doesn’t then it wasn’t the right person because their interest or goals may not have been the same as yours. In relationships you will take a loss, but you will always be a winner with the person you were meant to be with. Yes, it is a lot of work but so is just living every day. Being yourself is a lot easier than trying to conform to someone that you are not just because you are in love with the idea of the person and not the person themselves…there’s a difference. It’s going to be hard but so is working for a company or doing a hobby. I don’t think you were just awesome-sauce when you first started, you had to pick up some skills and work at it and continue your craft, well the same is true with relationships you must keep at it and try. I know that maybe a lot of information to take but so is taking in someone else’s life and merging it with your own to make this wonderful power couple. So gradually working on these five goals of 1. Communication, 2. Time, 3. Shared and Separate Interest, 4. Common Goals, and 5. Emotional Investment, your relationship will thrive and other will just envy your happiness.

Thanks for reading…SimplyBetty101