Tag: world

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90/10 Rule of Children

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Now by no means am I a psychologist nor a child guru but I do have a lot of experience with children. And I believe that children have a sense of how to drive their parents crazy by the time they form a brain in the womb. My baby knew every time I laid down to go to sleep and would start kicking and tossing just to drive me crazy. And it doesn’t stop there, the older they get the more nerves they hit. I have a toddler and at times I feel I have mission prone child that’s out to get me.

I don’t know what it is about my child and how I think but that dude has a vendetta out on things going smoothly in our lives. It’s like he can read my mind and be like okay I got you mom, I’m going to do the opposite. Think about it, every time you plan your evening out hoping to have a quiet relaxing evening when they lay down for a nap. BAAM, sugar rush and your child has never heard of such non-sense. A nap when did they invent that. Not today mommy not today. Or when you become overly prepare for the last 10 trips because you just know something is going to go wrong and you have to lug around all this extra baggage then nothing happens. But the second you say oh they have been doing so well and I’m only going to be gone for less than a hour. Then what do you know all hell breaks loose. And it’s usually within 10 minutes of leaving the house.

Let’s not get started about the potty training. Let me say just for the record, you mothers out there stating that it is so easy to potty train your little one must have missed all of the blowouts, wet floors, wardrobe malfunctions, and other unspoken chaos. Yes, it is funny now that it is over but when dealing with it in the moment it is literally the scariest confusing thing. Oh my the of a blow out at any given moment. Literally have you questioning what in the world did they eat and how much of it. Don’t let a lot of these YouTube videos fool you. Every child is different. But there is a glimmer of hope.

That wonderful 10% when they are angels and perfect in every way. From their cute little giggles, to the way the pronounce new words, to their best behaving selves (when their asleep). It’s nothing like looking into those big beautiful eyes knowing that you created a miracle and precious child. And the thought of going gansta behind someone if they try your child. The mere thought of any harm coming to them sends chills down your spine and you have to shake back into the moment. And to tell you the truth that 10% literally outweighs that 90% of pure torture all day everyday. And I love it just like every other parent who looks at their child with promise and encouraging eyes.

Yes, having children is trying and 90% of the time you are going to want to pull your hair out and scream. But that 10% is a magical thing to experience. Not only are you seeing it with your eyes but you are also feeling it in your soul. Connections with people are beautiful and the connection of parents to children is even more exciting. If you every wonder when something is happening and you just know it’s going on in that moment or that it has crossed your child’s mind and you stop it . That is pure connection people and it is a powerful thing.

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The Rage Within: Violence It Shouldn’t Exist But Would Our World Function Without It?

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Rage, anger, violence, and/or wrath, whatever one would call their snapped moment or moments when they commit such heinous acts against others. Where does it all steam from? Has anyone every stopped and think to themselves why does anger exist? I mean I know everything is supposed to be balance hence the reason for happiness. But do we really have enough happiness to balance out the anger? Even if we are talking collectively versus individually. Is there a balance I mean a truly even balance?

Let’s think about it for a minute. If one compares how easy it is for them to get upset over something small versus how long it takes them to build up their happiness. Can we really say there is enough happiness to balance out or offset the rage that run rampant in the world? Or is that there is enough happiness and positive endorphins going around but social media just won’t let us be great? I personally believe that there are a lot people around who are truly happy but it is just their surroundings and things that we consume on social media. It is a lot easier for individuals to be unhappy when they are in a state of consist struggle.

Rather that struggle is paying bills, dealing with kids, your spouse, or spouse(s) for those of you who are bold, it can be very easy to sway a person into anger. Think about it, if you are doing something that makes you happy once or a couple of times of week. Then those days that you are holding on and looking forward to the next adrenaline rush of pure pleasure, it can be easy to get upset over small things. It’s almost like getting high on Mary Jane. If MJ calms you down and relaxes you then you are probably tense and anxious until you get your next hit. Now factor days and hours into the mix in between your relaxations. One can understand the reasons for anyone for just snapping.

Now I’m not saying everyone should go and get high or that may be the answer to your actions. But there are other fixes that can calm a person down. Such as yoga, working out, running, eating, cooking, painting, writing, the list goes on. Finding a niche and sticking with it can make a big difference in a person being calm all day or being on 1st 48. And believe me no one wants to see someone they now on America’s Most Wanted, First 48 Hours, Snapped, the news, or any of those Investigate Discovery shows. Sometimes I often wonder is it just as contagious as getting a cold. The risks are high with none to little reward in most cases. Not to mention the effects it has on your health and appearance.

I grew up being taught that my face would get stuck in a certain look if I didn’t remove the facial expression. But yet here I am 30+ years later and I still have frowns on my face. Mainly because I didn’t believe them and my face still hasn’t gotten stuck. Sometimes I wonder where a lot of the old wives tales come from before they were told to me. But that’s for another day. The real question is would the world truly be able to function without the emotion of rage? I mean what will that world look like and if it did exist is it safe to say that no one would be annoyed by the fact that everyone would be happy and living their best life.

But there is something major missing in this discussion. Religion, would it even exist since world wouldn’t technically need something to believe in since anger wouldn’t exist? Let’s think about it, religion is here to assist those of us who allow worldly things to get to us and we need our weekly fix in our belief in order to function properly. Some of us need to not flash out of every person and be irritate. Now that would be a very interesting world. Can you imagine no anger, no religion, no checks and balances of the mind, and no police and or people to cause catastrophic results. Actually the world would be shameful, pitiful, and a mute. So I can say that a little chaos is good just not overboard with it like we’re seeing today.

So in conclusion it is safe to say that violence is necessary in order to keep those in jobs, bringing about religion, allowing one to say thank you and learn from their mistakes. In other words wrath is needed to balance out humanity so that we don’t have enough plain janes around us. Beside happiness is born out of the chaos that is provided and vic versa.

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Disappointments and/or Discouraged: Support Systems and Checks and Balances

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I’m going to be honest, a lot of times I get discouraged and/or disappointed with the way things are going in my life.  Now is there something wrong chemically in my head, no.  I just go through some things in life that trigger a pity party in my head just like any other person.  Luckily I don’t stay there for long maybe a couple of days at the most and then I’m back to my old chippery self.  Rather if it’s a argument with my spouse or some harsh reality that has altered my existence, I do still try to either think about the positives and move on.  Or deal with it and then move on.  

Just like anybody else in this world, I get thrown curve balls on a regular.  And when your in a relationship it is either a hindrance or a blessing to have a partner that can alter your discouraging state of mind.  If you are in a relationship, having a compatible partner is crucial especially if you suffer from depression or some suicidal thoughts.  Support systems are essential in everyone’s life no matter how strong your will and spirit is.  Checks and balances can be applied to almost every aspect of your life.  For instance, a person can go through school doing what they think is great but in their parents or teachers eyes their doing the bare minimal.  Now if neither one of those people, your support system, tells you to either try harder or do better, will you know to do it on your own?  Or how about your feeling sad and feel like the walls are closing in on you and you have nowhere to turn and you just want this to end or your life to end so you can’t feel pain, shame, guilt, burden to others, pity, and etc.  But you have that one friend, partner, relative, someone who is paying attention and comes to your rescue time and time again to talk you away from that ledge, knife, gun, rope, bedsheet, etc.  Having that person beside you makes a big difference in this world and makes a weak minded person feel like they can grow and accomplish anything.  

Disappointments will come and you will feel discouraged.  But if you have surrounded yourself with the right support system then you won’t feel discouraged for long. The checks and balances you have in place will make you feel more uplifted and encouraged.  There are times where we are not aware of our support system, it can well enough be a stranger.  Yes, a strange person can feel compel to come to your aid when you least expect it and need it the most.  Weird how life works sometimes, but it  is necessary.  This is not going to be much longer, I just wanted to share my thoughts and personal feelings.  Yes, I do fear the darkness that the world can provide but I overwhelming enjoy the lighter side of the world.  Joy comes in the morning and the darkness doesn’t last always.  If you are ever in a dark place that seems like it’s never ending, please look for the light in any way shape or form.  No matter how small that light may be.  Remember, everyone needs checks and balances from a support system.  

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To My Son: The Promises I Make to You

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As father’s day draws near and the day that you will once again be in my arms; I just wanted to take the time to write this. If over the years you feel discourage in my capabilities as a mother to you. Or you feel at any point I have failed you. Know that I did my best and most importantly I LOVE You more than anything the universe could ever offer me. Everything that I accomplished in life is nothing compared to bringing you into this world. Even though this world will do a lot of damage, please never give up and remember all the good things in life. Especially, those who truly love you… God and your parents. Yes, there will be times where you question everything in life. But I promise there is always light after the darkness. With that being said…

I will promise to do my best at all times to being a great parent to you.
I promise to provide you with what you need and strive for what you want.
I promise to be your backup when you are in the right and just.
I promise to guide you when you are lost.
I promise to protect your heart and soul from the evils of the world until you are strong enough to guard them yourself.
I promise to love you until the end of time.
I promise to give you the tools you need to survive and strive and conquer the world.

To my baby boy, my third pregnancy, my first born, to my blessing, I most importantly promise to be your mom.

Love Always,
Mom

Thanks for reading…. SimplyBetty101

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Moving In and On: House and Career Dreams

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Looking for a change in life? Rather you’re looking to transition to a beautiful new home, career, or both remember not all transitions are easy. And not all will be on your timeline either. Don’t get discourage. Look at it as a challenge or hurdle that you have to move out of your way.

Not every door will open when you want it to and not all doors lead you to where you expect. Somethings have to be taken with a blind leap of faith and persistence. Think of life as a child that doesn’t listen all of the time. With children you will have to have the patience of a person who has all the time in the world and have your anger in check at all times. Plus you also have to keep explaining and instructing children to do what you need. The same rules apply to your potential home or career. Children are put into our lives to test us and the world has the same code of life. It’s all just a test that you will ace. Yes you may have to take the test multiple times until you pass it but you’ll get there. So don’t be discourage when someone is trying to block a blessing from you. Remember whatever is for you no man can take from you no matter how hard they try.

Thanks for reading… SimplyBetty101